Chapter 425 — Why Can’t I Ignore It?
5 min read ·
The pond sat in what had once been a small park, benches shattered, trees toppled, ground cratered where combat had spilled over.
But the pond remained, its surface disturbed only by rain falling harder with each passing minute.
Damian sat on the edge, legs drawn up slightly, arms resting on his knees, staring at his reflection in the dark water.
A face that newspapers had called heroic after the portal incident.
His mind kept flashing back to the child, his small face peaceful in death, and the mother’s grief when she’d slapped him.
’She was right.’ The thought came quiet and certain. ’Were the children who died today any different from the orphans I saved?’
Rain ran down his face, mixing with the blood still caked in his hair.
’I know this attack wasn’t my fault directly... The Shadow Council and Death Cult made the choice to attack. They’re the ones who brought this destruction.’
His reflection wavered as more rain hit the water.
’But it’s also true that they came for me. That thousands died tonight because of this.’
His eyes focused on his reflection’s eyes, crimson meeting crimson across dark water.
’I’m the same as those nobles, aren’t I?’
The question sat heavy in his chest.
’She was right about that too. Ever since I awakened these memories, all I’ve really cared about was power.’
’Wasn’t it supposed to be about protecting my family? About making sure the people I cared about were safe?’
The memories surfaced unbidden. Alaric’s disappointment after the Norrington incident. Luna’s fear when he’d lost control.
’Then why? What have I actually been doing?’
His reflection showed no answers, just stared back with the same crimson eyes that had watched so much death tonight.
’Instead of protecting them, I’ve been making more and more enemies.’
His mind flashed to the northern region. The detention center, blood painting the walls. The receptionist, her face showing recognition just before the pen drove through her eye.
’I didn’t even use a mask that night.’ The thought came bitter and accusatory. ’All I wanted was to kill everyone for taking Ming. To make them pay for daring to touch someone who belonged to the Mafia.’
Rain dripped from his hair into the pond, creating ripples that distorted his reflection further.
’But did the receptionist have any fault? She wasn’t working for the Shadow Council. She was just a normal human doing her job. And I killed her because she saw my face. Because she could identify me.’
’Is this what I gained from those memories? Being a cruel killer?’
The question burned through his thoughts.
’So what if I have forty years of memories from a Mafia Boss in a simple world? This world has beings who’ve lived for centuries. Who’ve accumulated power and knowledge and influence for longer than Alessio’s entire life span.’
’How insufferably arrogant I was, thinking I could protect everyone, thinking I could stand at the top of this world just because I had memories from another life.’
The rain fell harder, the sound of it hitting water creating a constant rhythm.
’But then...’ His thoughts shifted, turning inward. ’When did I start caring about strangers? About people I don’t even know?’
The question cut deeper than he expected.
’Alessio wouldn’t have cared.’ The realization settled with brutal honesty. ’He would have looked at that mother’s dead child and felt nothing.’
His hands tightened slightly on his knees.
’So why does this hurt?’ The confusion bled through. ’Why can’t I just ignore it like I used to? Like Alessio did without losing a single night’s sleep?’
Rain continued falling, each drop adding to the ripples distorting his reflection.
’When did my heart open for these people?’ The question demanded an answer he didn’t have. ’When did I change from the ruthless bastard who tortured information out of victims without hesitation to someone who sits by a pond feeling guilt over strangers?’
His reflection stared back at him, offering no answers.
"Sigh..."
’I can’t save everyone... No one can.’ His thoughts shifted, learning from his mistakes. ’But I can accept that my choices have consequences.’
’The fourth Shadow King is dead.’ His mind went back to the Shadow Council. ’But thirteen more Shadow Kings remain, all of them contracted to demons. The twelfth and fourteenth escaped tonight.’
The scale of it pressed down on him, clarifying rather than crushing.
’And that’s just one enemy.’ His thoughts turned darker. ’The beast tides will start soon. Not to mention... the real enemies... Monsters.’
He thought about the Mafia’s current strength, about how close they’d come to complete annihilation tonight despite having S rankers protecting them.
’If a few Shadow Kings and their forces could do this much damage, what happens when the real threats arrive? When the monster races coordinate their attacks? Demons... how will I face those rulers?’
His hands rested on his knees, steady despite the weight of everything settling on his shoulders.
’How–’
Suddenly, arms wrapped around him from behind without warning.
Damian went completely still, his thoughts cutting off mid-spiral, his body tensing on pure instinct before his mind registered the familiar presence.
Luna’s face pressed against his back, her arms tight around his chest, her breath warm against his blood-soaked clothes.
She didn’t say anything, just held him like she was afraid he’d disappear if she let go.
The rain continued falling around them, soaking through her academy uniform, plastering her hair against her face.
Damian’s mouth opened to speak, to ask when she’d arrived, to explain where he’d been for the past months.
"Shhh." Her voice came out soft and muffled against his shoulder. "Don’t talk."
Her Aura flared outward in a gentle wave, forming a translucent barrier above them that deflected the rain.
She shifted around to sit beside him on the pond’s edge, close enough that her shoulder pressed against his arm, but her hands never let go of him.
"Luna, I–"
Her hand came up and pressed gently against his lips, stopping the words before they could form.
"I’m glad you’re safe." The whisper cracked slightly at the edges. "That’s all that matters right now."