Chapter 48 — Volume 4 THE EVERLASTING COVENANT, 1 [The Place They Returned To]

The grey gloom of the sky mirrored the state of Subaru’s heart.

In front of Crusch’s mansion, six dragon carriages lined up in a row. Those that fled from the Roswaal domain, the villagers of Arlam(or so the place was called) were all loaded up. Only the final special carriage was reserved for Subaru and Emilia.

The road will be long. So unlike the way here, they won’t be riding with the children, since there is a mountain of things he has to say to Emilia… and he wasn’t so insensitive as to let the children ride alongside “her”…

[I will become rather lonely]

Silently gazing at the dragon carriages, Subaru heard a voice from behind him.

Turning to see, it was Crusch looking at him. Her long green hair caressed by the misty wind, she closed her eyes, and seeing her, Subaru scratched his head.

[Subaru: It’s not like anything will happen if I stay here, I’d feel bad to just keep sponging on your hospitality —to be honest, I really should be taking some time to recover, but it can’t be helped]

Opening and closing his hands, Subaru thought about the state of his health, and smiled awkwardly. Back then, it was to recover his health that he came to Crusch’s mansion in the first place. Roswaal had a hand in sending him here, and it still annoys him to see that Clown’s wishes fulfilled so perfectly. As a matter of principle, even if he fulfills any of that guy’s wishes, it should be by continually stomping it.

[Crusch: Natsuki Subaru-sama, you know you’re welcome to sponge here as long as you like… even though it’s hard to say that out loud]

[Subaru: Thank you for your offer… but while I want to, there is still a pile of loose ends I need to tie up. There’s the White Whale, “Sloth”, and the whole deal with the merchants guild…]

Declining Crusch’s offer, Subaru shook his head. He was thinking of Julius and Anastasia.

Out of the three factions that joined forces against the White Whale and “Sloth”, only Anastasia’s purely benefited.

Crusch’s camp, by slaying the White Whale, had accomplished a glorious feat four hundred years in the making — but Crusch’s amnesia was a devastating blow.

As for Subaru and Emilia’s camp that defeated “Sloth”, the supposedly well-informed Roswaal’s absence from it all doesn’t bode well at all.

In terms of casualties, although they didn’t suffer heavy losses like Crusch’s camp, to Subaru, his loss was far too great to bear.

In comparison, only losing a portion of her mercenaries and supply trains, Anastasia’s forces are almost completely intact. And even though she wasn’t the main player in either battle, her forces made tremendous contributions with minimal losses, a highly profitable investment.

While the damage to their forces made the other two factions hesitate in publicizing their victories, it was not a concern for Anastasia.

In order to check Anastasia’s ascent, close coordination between Crusch and Emilia’s factions will be necessary…

….Seeing Subaru deep in those thoughts, Crusch yawned lazily. Subaru’s brows frowned when he saw this, and Crusch, an embarrassed expression on her face, only waved [nothing] with her hands…

[Subaru: Sorry to be so sentimental… but I’m ashamed I can’t repay you for your kindness…]

[Crusch: The ones that repay favors right away are not worthy opponents. Don’t worry about it when there is so much on your plate. Besides, we received plenty in return already]

Listening to Crusch’s courteous words, Subaru turned to look at the front of the special carriage. Compared to the others, it looked like an overly-decorated high-class VIP dragon carriage, and the honor of pulling it goes to—

[Crusch: Such an unambitious request… you want to treat this ground dragon’s wounds and take care of her?]

[Subaru: I do owe this ground dragon a great deal. Even though it’s only been a relatively short time, the number of times we rode into the brink of death is more than I can count. And I intend to face many more challenges together with her, so I won’t consider Patrasche to be a toy]

[Crusch: —In that case, I have no need to worry]

The ground dragon— Patrasche glanced at Subaru as he spoke, and then, as if rejecting his admiration, turned to Wilhelm. The old swordsman, who up to now had been checking the carriages before their departure, nodded at their conversation.

[Wilhelm: “Diana” is the most difficult breed of ground dragons to please. To shield her master with her own body, Subaru must be quite adored by this ground dragon]

[Subaru: Even though I don’t remember much, before the battle with the White Whale, I just decided to choose this one all of a sudden]

It’s true they have a bond. This was more than fortunate, because if he picked any other ground dragon, whether it’s the White Whale or Betelgeuse, he would not have made it out alive. Anyway,

[Subaru: I can no longer be satisfied by any other ground dragon besides you… Ah, seductive Patrasche!]

Touching the smooth texture of the side of Patrasche’s stomach with the palm of his hand as if to show off his affections, Subaru looked into Patrasche’s rather pissed-off looking eyes.

To Subaru’s overly intimate molestation, the ground dragon reacted with an expression of profound disgust from the bottom of its heart, and jerked her body as if trying to break Subaru’s fingers.

[Subaru: Ow! That’s overreacting just to hide your embarrassment! Though with all that exercise wiping windows back in Junior High, my fingers won’t break so easily!]

[Wilhelm: The ground dragon is joking with you. Such amiable communication must be an indication of the unwavering trust between you two]

[Subaru: Does that look like communication? It seemed to be just me offering my love one-sidedly and Patrasche rejecting me with her body language!]

That unspoken trust on the battlefield… is woefully absent right now. Now it’s just a sassy attitude… But in the end, even with the cold demeanor, Patrasche allowed him to pet her.

Anyway,

[Subaru: So I got my name into the credits for slaying the White Whale, and then I saved Emilia by killing “Sloth”. And now I got my beloved ground dragon… The reward is quite nice isn’t it]

[Wilhelm: Killing the White Whale, how significant that was, Subaru-dono not realizing this is something admirable indeed. Perhaps one day the world will properly thank you for this great achievement. I look forward to that day]

[Subaru: Yeah I think so too! Wait.. but wasn’t I just running around the Whale’s nose like bait all that time?]

To Subaru’s not even humble words, Wilhelm looked on with a warm smile. His insides itching from that warmth, Subaru shook his head as if trying to get rid of that feeling.

[Subaru: All that aside… I won’t be seeing you for a while Wilhelm-san. Please take care of your wound]

[Wilhelm: Sorry I made you worry. It seems the distance is getting farther, the bleeding has stopped. But no matter what, the day when I fight alongside Subaru-dono again will come. Until then]

Wilhelm’s wound — the unhealable wound dealt by the Previous Generation Sword Saint, Thearesia van Astria. Mentioning this brought a sharpness into Wilhelm’s gaze. His mind turned to the Sin Archbishops that assaulted Crusch, “Greed” and “Gluttony”.

If the death of the “Sword Demon”‘s wife had to do with something other than the White Whale, these two are the most likely suspects.

Subaru, same as Wilhelm, holds a strong hatred for Gluttony. No matter what, they must eventually come face to face with this Sin Archbishop. While the Witch Cult is something they would rather avoid, “Gluttony” is an entirely different matter. For they must defeat this Sin Archbishop to retrieve those irreplaceable things… Crusch’s memory is one, and more importantly—

[Subaru-kyun, Rem-chan is settled in, want to check?]

Saying this, from the carriage window poked out a head with cat-like ears — Ferris. Seeing Ferris step out of Patrasche’s special carriage, Subaru walked over. Peeking in, in the spacious interior, some seats had been replaced with a makeshift bed, and on it, a girl was sleeping.

She was not wearing the familiar maid’s dress, but wore a soft blue sleeping gown, that matched the color of her hair. A girl in an unwaking slumber, forgotten by all the world. She loved Subaru, and Subaru loved her. Perhaps, she was that kind of girl.

[Subaru: That thing is safe right?]

[Ferris: Hey I’ve been careful, I am a healer nyan. Though Rem’s physical wounds are already healed, she is no longer a patient nyan]

Silently, Subaru gazed at her sleeping face. Ferris’ words were brash, but the side of Ferris’ face showed something different from the usual playfulness. Perhaps Ferris was feeling the pain of his own powerlessness, not in regards to Rem, but Ferris’ peerless master, Crusch.

[Ferris: You really want to bring her with you?]

[Subaru: Yes, I’ll bring her with me. She won’t get better by staying here… no I didn’t mean it’s your fau…]

[Ferris: I know nyan, Subaru-kyun isn’t that mean nyan]

Seeing Subaru’s embarrassment after his remarks, Ferris smiled awkwardly.

[Ferris: In fact]

Pointing a finger at Subaru,

[Ferris: Aside from Rem, an even bigger concern is Subaru-kyun isn’t it?]

[Subaru: Me?]

[Ferris: Don’t play dumb nyan, your gate is over-strained nyan. While healing you I had to forcefully inject a large amount of Mana through your gate, it could be a bit damaged nyan. Are you feeling weak or tired, physically and magically?]

At Ferris’ question, Subaru turned his neck and shoulders. Spinning around, he couldn’t find anything wrong. He jumped a bit and there seemed to be nothing to worry about.

[Subaru: No problem. Both the used parts and the unused parts are fine. Putting the gate aside, I don’t usually use magic anyway]

[Ferris: You’re not a magic user after all. If it’s Ferris, Ferris would have to avoid using magic except in emergencies nyan… en, that’s good nyan]

Seeing Subaru aloof to the critical condition of his health, Ferris gave up. With wide, round eyes, Ferris looked around Subaru’s neck, pulling around his collar.

[Ferris: But no more straining yourself. Even though Ferris can squeeze out every toxin from Subaru-kyun’s body, if your gate shatters into a thousand pieces Ferris won’t be able to fix it nyan. So take the time to properly recover it… about two months nyan]

[Subaru: Two months without magic… for a guy who didn’t use magic for 17 years, it’s nothing!]

Joking around after hearing the diagnosis… come to think of it, Subaru hasn’t even been in this world for two months, even though from his perspective it was more like 4 months — it all feels like a very long time.

Thinking about all that happened since he came to this world, how hard would it be to finally rest for two months? He wasn’t sure himself.

[Subaru: En… although I do always manage to get myself caught up in some disaster… Wait, did I just trigger a “Flag”!? I think I heard the sound effect!!]

[Ferris: Too bad, Ferris is no expert on treating brain problems nyan]

Subaru apparently appalled by his own remarks, Ferris looked at him rather disinterestedly.

Affected by this reaction, Subaru decided this conversation should be coming to an end. After some thought, he reached out his hand to Ferris.

[Ferris: Nyan?]

[Subaru: No, I really should thank you for everything you’ve done to help me. For healing me, and when we’re against the Whale and “Sloth” if it weren’t for you, it would’ve all been a mess…… and for Rem, thank you]

[Ferris: ….nyan. You don’t seem to be mocking me nyan, so be it]

[Subaru: Ooo! My ability <> has activated! Stay calm!]

A clumsy expression of thanks, but Ferris seemed to like it. In any case, his feelings got through. Ferris held onto the out-reached hand, and they shook.

[Subaru: Such soft, slender fingers… I can’t imagine what you’d be like with masculine hands]

[Ferris: On the cute and perfect Ferris, wouldn’t that be too disappointing nyan? Be it body hair or skin, everything on Ferris is all natural nyan]

Ferris raising a hand with pride, Subaru caught a glimpse of the impeccable white legs under Ferris’ skirt. Taking in the sheer beauty of its form, Subaru’s shoulders dropped dejectedly.

[Subaru: But, he’s a guy…]

[Ferris: Yep, Ferris is a man in body and soul nyan]

[Subaru: How do you get so smug about it? Which part of that is like a man?]

Dressed like a beautiful girl, calling Ferris a man is just too much — Although Subaru isn’t traditional or anything like that, even he knew Ferris’ behavior is the opposite of what would be called manly.

Against Subaru’s question, Ferris placed a finger on the corner of those lips. And with a charming shake of the waist,

[Ferris: Because, Crusch-sama said this suits Ferris, what I am, I am, and this most suits the radiance of Ferris’ soul. —Crusch-sama’s words, Ferris shall repay with everything that I am]

[Subaru: But…]

…the current Crusch doesn’t know this… but Subaru held back his words. Even if he doesn’t say it, Ferris already knows. And if he does say it, it will only hurt.

Subaru, more than anyone, would hate to do this. If someone talked about Rem, Subaru would be just as agitated. Perhaps Ferris knew this as well.

[—No matter what becomes of the House of Karsten]

[Subaru: ……?]

Suddenly, the voice struck Subaru’s eardrums.

Quiet, cold, a voice of frozen emotion.

Who that voice belonged to… if he heard it now, it would still give him pause.

Head lowered, Ferris’ expression is hidden behind the hair of his forehead, impossible to see.

In this way, Ferris held tight onto Subaru’s hand.

[Ferris: Only Crusch-sama, I will protect with my life]

[Subaru: …Ferris?]

[Ferris: That – Is – Why]

In front of the dumbfounded Subaru, Ferris’ head suddenly lifted, smiling with a jubilant voice. But compared to the playful, mischievous eyes Subaru was so used to seeing, in this instant, it appeared as if those eyes were lying.

[Ferris: Remember the agreement, Subaru-kyun! Otherwise all the Mana in your body will go on a rampage frying your brain until you die nyan]

[Subaru: What are you saying with that smile on your face!? And why are you threatening an ally!?]

[Ferris: Threatening? More like a death sentence nyan]

[Subaru: Worse than I thought!]

Flinging Ferris’ hand out of his own, Subaru turned away. For a brief moment, in all this commotion

—he faintly hoped perhaps Rem would react.

Sighing slightly, he pushed his dashed hopes out of his mind.

Near the luggage outside the dragon carriage, he found Emilia and Crusch talking.

[Emilia: Ah, Subaru. Is Rem-san’s bed prepared?]

[Subaru: Yep Ferris set it up perfectly. Behold! This is me and Patrasche’s GREAT CIRCUS COMBO! We’ll show you something even the Great Kinoshita Circus wouldn’t be able to show you!]

[Emilia: Even though I don’t know what you’re talking about, I got a bad feeling about this… let’s not do the Great Circus]

[Subaru: The sky! It’s too unfortunate! But my heart had already been beating up and down expectant of Emilia-tan’s misattribution of arousal!]

Subaru called it the “In this speeding carriage my life is in danger, could this increase in heartbeat be LOVE!?” self-directed battle plan.

But to hear Emilia say “Rem-san”… a piercing pain of unfathomable degree lingered in Subaru heart, refusing to disappear.

For an instant, Emilia’s eyes caught onto Subaru’s mouth, which had suddenly stopped moving. But before her words came out, Ferris came up behind Subaru.

[Ferris: Well, the dragon carriage is prepared nyan. Sorry it took so long nyan. It’s sad to say goodbye — Crusch-sama, anything to say?]

[Crusch: En, yes]

Ferris went to Crusch’s side. Subaru went to Emilia’s. Taking them both within her sight, Crusch took a deep breath, and placed a hand in front of her chest.

[Crusch: First, though I have said it many times before, you have my deepest gratitude. Even though I can no longer remember, I know that before I lost my memory, I wanted us to cooperate, and to be friends. I thank you once again]

[Emilia: No… I, Crusch-sama, there is nothing to thank me for. These days I’ve only been kept in the dark and left out of everything…]

[Subaru: En, it’s true Emilia-tan didn’t do anything. But I have everything handled so don’t worry. After all, my achievements are my Emilia-tan’s achievements too!]

Seeing Emilia shriveling in embarrassment, Subaru pounded his chest proclaiming this. Stealing a glance at Subaru, Emilia nodded slightly.

[Emilia: Thank you Subaru… Even though I don’t remember becoming “your” Emilia…]

[Subaru: M – my battle plan to “subconsciously inject impression of a romantic relationship into third party listeners” has been seen through…!?]

[Emilia: Because I was listening carefully… oh, sorry about that]

All the air pressure deflating from his chest, Subaru sank down, and Emilia apologized to Crusch, who was quietly observing their amiable exchange.

[Crusch: No, the relationship between you two seem wonderful. I must quickly work to return to the way I was with Ferris and Wilhelm]

[Ferris: Ferris will always be open to Crusch-sama in both body and soul nyan!]

Ferris, covering his cheeks with both hands, swerved left and right. While Ferris was swerving like an octopus behind her, Crusch seemed to accept it as it is, with a warm, even feminine, smile emerging on her face.

[Crusch: We will meet again very soon, I think, Emilia-sama and Subaru-sama. I wish we would forever be friends]

That was not a lie, it must have been her true thoughts… Subaru thought this.

Despite losing her memory, she did not lose the nobility of her heart. Honesty illuminates her conduct, false flattery and lies are not compatible with that.

Perhaps because that came through so clearly, Emilia’s eyes opened wide with surprise, her lips trembling faintly.

[Emilia: I am… For Crusch-sama, I am an opposing Candidate. The Alliance… one day it will return to competition between us]

[Crusch: En, that is true. With Emilia-sama as an opponent, I will take care not to fall behind, so I will do my best as well]

[Emilia: And even without that, I am a Half-Elf. With silver hair… Doesn’t it scare you?]

[Subaru: Emilia-tan that’s…]

She didn’t need to ask that, Subaru thought, trying to stop her. Seeing the desperate determination on the side of Emilia’s face, he knew this conversation mustn’t continue.

Emilia was serious, in asking that question. The emotional part of her knows she should never bring up her identity lightly.

Above all, to bring it up in front of Crusch Karsten. Subaru knew, to let this continue would be…

[Crusch: The soul determines the value of its own existence. For myself, and for others as well, to live with the Soul’s fullest radiance, unashamed, is the way we should live]

[Emilia: —-]

[Crusch: Somehow it feels like I’ve said that many times before. How should I say it…. Now that I’ve listened to myself, that was pretty sophisticated, wasn’t it?]

Crusch covered her mouth and couldn’t hold in her laugh. Hearing this, Emilia stood dumbfounded, and did not say a word.

[Crusch: Emilia-sama, are you ashamed of the way you carry out your life?]

[Emilia: …I’m, not. Even if everyone around me thinks so, as long as I am not hated by myself, I can carry on and live this way]

[Crusch: If so, then don’t regret anything. Improve yourself, try your hardest, and stay true to the self you deserve. —You have a beautiful Soul]

Smiling, Crusch extended the hand in front of her chest toward Emilia.

[Crusch: To get to know you, I am happy. Fear? Not a single bit]

Biting her lips, Emilia carved those words into her memory, her chest hurting with emotion. She gazed at the outstretched hand. Crusch patiently waited for her. Then, Emilia’s fingers met the palm of Crusch’s hand, and they exchanged a handshake softly.

[Crusch: No matter what, I expect we will meet again soon]

[Emilia: M-me…… no. Me too, this time I should stand tall in front of Crusch-sama, shouldn’t I? Until then, I wish you the best of health]

This way, the two fellow Candidates of the Royal Selection, their promise to each do their best, was sealed.

Looking on from the side, Subaru’s heart swelled with the sense of accomplishment. That was one of the goals of Subaru’s struggle after struggle… Even though in the end it’s impossible for everything to be perfect…

[Subaru: ….after everything we accomplished… why do I still have this sad expression on my face? I don’t want to blame it on you… I don’t……]

Glancing toward the dragon carriage, appearing in Subaru’s eyes was the girl sleeping inside.

In such a happy occasion, Rem would not forgive me like this… Rem wouldn’t want to… I’m so selfish aren’t I?

[Crusch: Natsuki Subaru-sama, please take care. I will look forward to your future activity… and her recovery]

[Subaru: Much more activity from me… I don’t think that’s a good idea… To be honest, I’m the kind of guy that runs around trying to do everything as the last resort and still ends up being completely useless. About Rem… Miss Crusch is not an outsider. No matter what, she will recover. I promise, she will]

Crusch extended her hand to Subaru. But to shake hands in this state, isn’t that way too embarrassing? To cover up his embarrassment, Subaru gave her a high five.

A small sound rang out, and the brief contact between Subaru and Crusch’s hands ended. Her hand bouncing off, Crusch’s eyes blinked ever so slightly.

[Crusch: We will certainly meet again]

With these words, the master and servant bowed, seeing Subaru and Emilia off.

On the road home, a strange, stifling gloom descended on the dragon carriage.

The carriage itself, Crusch had gifted to Subaru along with Patrasche, as another sign of gratitude. Even without the ornamentation, it was clear that it was an expensive piece of craftsmanship. But from the softness of the seats to the glamour of the interior, everything felt a bit excessive.

The spacious interior could fit ten people and still have room left over, so it’s no wonder they didn’t know what to do with themselves, with only three passengers riding inside.

In the carriage, Emilia, Subaru and Rem kept the silence. Rem was, of course, sleeping. Sitting next to her, Subaru was waiting, without even the thought of moving from his place. Perhaps out of consideration for the unconscious Rem, Emilia held back her words.

[Subaru: ……m]

This is bad, Subaru thought, crossing his arms. Though it’d be outrageous to have a lighthearted conversation under these circumstances, there is so much they need to talk about. They have to decide on their stance regarding the Royal Selection, they need to get up to date on the Alliance with Crusch’s faction, and they still haven’t even talked about what happened over the past few days.

Then there was Rem. How would she be taken care of at the mansion if no one but Subaru remembers her? Even though it’s inevitable, just the thought of what Ram might say, when she sees the unconscious Rem, sends shivers down his spine.

[Emilia: I know you’re worried, but right now I feel the atmosphere might have been better if the kids were riding with us…]

Of course, the children were also in the entourage heading back to Roswaal’s domain. But they are riding with their parents right now. If they asked about Rem, it would be difficult to explain, and what if the villagers think it’s a disease… Unfortunately, the result is the current silence.

What to do now. — It is unusual for Subaru to feel so restrained, he looked up at the ceiling thinking.

[I don’t know what, but can’t you two think of something to talk about!? Aaaah, I can’t take this awkward silence anymore!!]

[Subaru: What are you saying!? Sneaking in out of the blue!? Wait, were you there all along?]

[Otto: That’s rude! Of course I was here! Do you even remember the conditions under which I agreed to help you out!?]

Otto said in an over-exaggerated way, sticking his head into the carriage from the opening in front, sending a bit of spittle flying along with his voice. Otto was the one driving the carriage, sitting outside in the driver’s seat. He stuck his head through the hole connecting to the carriage’s interior just to comment on the quietness inside the carriage.

At Otto’s objections, Subaru tilted his head and nodded while muttering [Ah, ah]

[Subaru: I remember, I remember. Right, I remember you asked me to help you meet Roswaal, right? … Ah, but, what can I say…]

[Otto: What is it!?]

[Subaru: Well if you’re just chasing after guys it’s one thing, but when the guy is Roswaal… I’m straight by the way, and I already have Emilia, so please don’t come after me]

[Otto: That’s not why I want to talk to him at all! What do you think I am!?]

[Subaru: A trader looking for some excitement?]

[Otto: Why do you treat me like a pervert!?]

Looking at Otto as if pitying him from the bottom of his heart, Subaru shook his head sadly from side to side. Emilia, who had been quietly observing their conversation, suddenly opened her eyes wide and said with a surprised expression

[Emilia: You two… are really good friends, aren’t you? I’m surprised!!]

[Subaru: Oy, oy Emilia-tan. Please stop it with the jokes. Putting me in the same basket as this money-grubbing merchant… The only thing I’m greedy for is your love!]

[Otto: You’re greedy too then!! Ah, wait, I’m not greedy to begin with!]

[Subaru: Otto, shut up]

Sighing at the travelling merchant, Subaru got up and took hold of the flap to close the window to the driver’s seat.

[Otto: Ah, wait, don’t just treat me like I’m in the way!]

[Subaru: Ok, shutting you out!]

Pulling the flap shut with a clap, the face of the man who had been trying until the very end to say something finally disappeared. Joining his fingers and stretching his arms like someone who had just completed a rough task, Subaru turned around to see Emilia blankly looking up at him.

[Subaru: …Puh]

[Emilia: Hihahaha!]

Looking at each others faces, they suddenly burst out laughing.

For a while they let themselves be taken along by their laughter, but after a little while, their laughter started to wane, until silence once again descended upon the carriage.

At that moment,

[Subaru: Letting this heavy atmosphere be, really isn’t like me, is it?]

[Emilia: You’re right, it’s not like you at all. The Subaru I know is a much more spirited, unreasonable, lively person. So much so that no matter what I’m feeling at the moment, he completely blows all my bad feelings away]

[Subaru: I feel like that could also be translated into an airhead who can’t read the mood…]

In any case, Otto being there had actually cleared up the mood tremendously. Thanking Otto for this would probably make him angry, but nevertheless, Subaru thanked him in his mind while getting up and sitting down next to Emilia as if it were the most natural thing in the world. Seeing this put a wry smile on Emilia’s face.

[Emilia: You always just naturally sit next to me huh, Subaru?]

[Subaru: Well, it’s natural for someone to want to sit next to the girl they like, so I want to sit as close as I can, and breathe the same air as you]

[Emilia: Geez, the first half of that sentence was embarrassing, and yet somehow the second half of that sentence gave off a really bad feeling]

Being hit straight with an earnest confession of love made Emilia’s face turn red, but the pervertedness of the second half made her scowl. Leaning his head toward her at her reaction, Subaru said

[Subaru: Hmm, I was just trying to act like I always do, you know]

[Emilia: Come to think of it, I guess you’ve always been like this. It’s because you’re like this, that I’m never able to just take in what you’re saying…]

As Emilia looked at him, her voice turned into a quiet mumble, then faded completely. Subaru scratched his head, considering whether or not he should pick up the conversation…

[Subaru: Guys just can’t mentally handle being straightforward, and not pretending to be kidding around when it comes to this sort of thing. Me loving Emilia-tan, me looking at Emilia-tan in a perverted way, and me wanting to help Emilia-tan are all my true, honest feelings. You can believe that you know?]

[Emilia: I believe it, but believing and accepting are two different things…]

[Subaru: That’s fine with me, believe me, and I’ll work hard until you accept my feelings]

Thinking about it again, that was a pretty aggressive proclamation. In fact, hearing that from Subaru, Emilia’s face was blushing.

Fighting hard to remain unflustered, her cheeks and ears already turned so red that her expression couldn’t keep up. She must never have had anyone confess their unconditional fondness for her before. Of course Subaru, the one trying to hit on her, didn’t have any experience either, so his face was also completely red.

Even so,

[Subaru: Rather than walking on with a downcast expression, this is more like me. Right, Rem?]

[Emilia: …just now, did you say something?]

[Subaru: I was just thinking how nice it would be to lift up your hair so I could stare at your neck pervertedly]

[Emilia: Right there, you are trying to distract me again… You care a lot about Rem-san, don’t you?]

Subaru still trying to wisecrack his way out, Emilia’s incisive words blocked his escape. Accepting defeat, Subaru smiled bitterly, and turned toward Rem, still sleeping on the bed.

[Subaru: I do, yes. Immensely… I care about her. I’m always thinking I must do something, and I think, and I want to keep on thinking. Even though I wanted Emilia-tan to be the first in my thoughts, this can’t be ranked… I’m sorry]

[Emilia: I’m not a bad child that will get angry and throw a tantrum. I won’t get angry about something so important… I can tell just by looking, she is very important to Subaru]

Like Subaru, Emilia turned her narrowed gaze to Rem in her sleep. Her lips trembled. Then after a short moment of hesitation, she asked

[Emilia: You… like her. Don’t you?]

[Subaru: I like her. I love her. I love her as much as I love you]

[Emilia: I don’t know how I feel about this, but… Subaru, are you the kind of guy that flirts around?]

[Subaru: I thought I was supposed to be a pretty faithful guy, but having someone be so devoted to you is… a guy whose heart isn’t moved by that, I don’t think he could have a drop of blood or tear in him]

Thinking back to the loops over the past few days, he remembered, how many times he had received Rem’s unconditional love. Receiving it all, how could his heart not move? By the time he noticed, her existence inside his heart had already grown far too large to ignore.

[Emilia: Even though you told me that you love me]

[Subaru: Just to make it clear, I love Rem a lot, but Rem still loves me WAY more, you know? She’s completely fallen head over heels for me, and I seriously can’t understand why]

Hugging his shoulders, he wondered how she could love him so selflessly. To be loved this much by a girl like Rem, was he really worth it?

He still couldn’t help but wonder why. But even so… as the man she fell for, the very least he could do, is to try to live up to what she sees in him.

Seeing Subaru’s downcast self appraisal, Emilia’s lips relaxed.

[Emilia: I think I understand her]

[Subaru: Huh?]

[Emilia: The reason Rem-san came to reeally love you. I’m sure it’s because she got to see Subaru’s good side up close, a lot. You’re kind of like a disease that sometimes becomes really incredible, and does some reeally incredible things]

[Subaru: A disease? I… can’t actually deny that]

Subaru scratched his cheek and pouted, showing his dissatisfaction. Emilia, unaffected, held her stern expression as if to say “it’s true you know”, then, closing her eyes

[Emilia: I won’t fall for you that easily you know]

[Subaru: That makes the effort all the more worth it! One day, I will make Emilia-tan go all gooey and fall for me, wake Rem from her sleep, and settle this in a nice way. Aaaah, I’m smiling just thinking about it!]

To have Emilia and Rem each pull on one of his hands, fighting over his one and only body. That would be a such a blissful, incredible sight.

Which is why definitely, definitely one day—

[Subaru: I’ll have you two pull me until I split into a thousand pieces!]

[Emilia: I have no idea what you’re thinking, but I feel like I have to say this: I’m not going to do anything like that!]

After that conversation, the discussion inside the carriage went on smoothly.

After all, they’ve been waiting for the larger half of a day to talk. And since there was a lot they had to talk about, they had only just enough time to do it.

Sharing everything about the past few days with Emilia, eventually Otto joined their conversation as well, and even took part in their planning for the future.

To sum it up,

[Subaru: Basically, if we don’t meet with Roswaal then we can’t plan anything, right?]

After all that, the conclusion was the same as the starting point of the conversation.

Roswaal is the only person who understands the full capabilities and powers of Emilia’s Faction, so nothing can proceed without him.

[Subaru: Well, if Ram, who went to the Sanctuary, met Roswaal, we could naturally get him to return to the Mansion. But I’d slap him in the face first, before we have a good talk with him]

[Otto: You’re very aggressive toward your employer, huh, Natsuki-san?]

[Subaru: I think I have a right to do that after all he did! He’d deserve every bit of it!]

Thinking back on the mess Roswaal left for Subaru to clean up, this is more or less an appropriate response. In fact, Emilia didn’t seem to have any intention of stopping Subaru, as if permitting him to do it “just this one time”.

As their discussion was summed up and their topic turned toward matters of the Roswaal domain, their dragon carriage left the forests and entered the village

—they instantly realized something was wrong.

The village that Subaru had gotten so used to seeing, seemed just as desolate and dreary as right after the battle with Betelgeuse. There was not even any sign of the soldiers of the Expedition that stayed behind.

To put it simply, it seems none of the villagers had returned.

[Otto: I don’t see anyone, Natsuki-san. It doesn’t look like the area was devastated or anything, it just looks like nobody is here]

Getting off the dragon carriage, Otto voiced his thoughts as he looked around the village with several of the returning villagers. Even Subaru, who looked with a different group, came to the same conclusion.

In the somber silence, memories of past loops — where the villagers were slaughtered, massacred by Betelgeuse’ fingers, all of a sudden struck Subaru like a nightmare returning. But he was certain that he was just overthinking it.

But then, that raises another question

[Subaru: Ram said from here to the Sanctuary is only about 7 to 8 hours… but then why are they later than us, if we stayed in the Capital for three days?]

[Otto: They might not know that we took down the Witch Cult, so maybe they’re being cautious?]

[Subaru: Roswaal abandoning his lands? I assume if Roswaal fought “Sloth” face-to-face, Roswaal would probably win. Even if it isn’t “Sloth”s style to fight in the open, Roswaal should have at least come here to scout]

Roswaal, who can even fly, could easily return to his territory. If he intended to, he could scout the perimeters of the Mansion for any remaining threats, and ensure the land was safe to return to. But he didn’t.

[Subaru: Either he’s being overly cautious or…]

[Emilia: Something’s happened in the Sanctuary?]

Both Subaru and Emilia’s opinions matched. Looking at each other, they shared a nod.

No matter what, they have to find out what the situation at the Sanctuary is.

Besides their concerns, the villagers had worries of their own.

After all, about 60% of the villagers had headed for the Sanctuary. Those that returned from the Capital: the children who resolved to accompany Emilia, their parents, and the young men’s militia that went with them, only comprised about 40% of the villagers. Without the rest, the functioning of the village is severely affected.

Besides, the people’s minds tend to always turn to the worst.

[Subaru: Anyway, we have to do something… For now, let’s head back to the Mansion. I want to settle Rem down as well. Plus, Otto, you don’t have anywhere to stay, so come to the Mansion with us]

[Otto: What!? To trouble the ma-Margrave for lodging!? If I have to be in such a heck of a situation, I would rather sleep in the dragon carriage!]

[Subaru: Shut up, you’re already involved. Better get used to it because I’ll use you until you die off!]

Ignoring Otto’s objections, Subaru said goodbye to the villagers and told Patrasche to head for the Mansion.

In a distance of 15 minutes on foot, and 5 minutes by carriage, lies the nostalgic Mansion of Roswaal.

Last time, he didn’t have the chance to appreciate the sight, so when he looked up at it again, this time, there was something emotional about it all.

[Subaru: Well, nothing seems to have changed. …Ram and the others don’t seem to have returned, either]

[Emilia: But, Beatrice must still be inside. I hope she knows where the Sanctuary is]

[Subaru: Wha- really? Crap… I thought Emilia-tan would know where the Sanctuary is. Then how do we confirm if Roswaal’s alright?]

The fundamental objective of their plan collapsing, Subaru furrowed his brows at the looming darkness ahead.

Emilia’s beautiful face also showed the colors of grief. Otto, unable to join in the conversation, only looked up, enchanted by the great Mansion and its surroundings, as if driving through a dream.

[Subaru: Tch. Crap. Well, we just have to hope Beatrice knows something about it]

[Otto: Hey, why were you clicking your tongue while staring right at me?]

[Subaru: Tch. It’s your self-consciousness. No one cares about you as much as you think]

[Otto: Wow that’s a terrible comment!]

Ignoring the partially depressed Otto, Subaru parked the dragon carriage in the front yard, and headed straight to the entrance.

First, get Beatrice, then, scout the Mansion, then, secure a bed for Rem, then think of future plans again—

[Subaru: I’m back, Roswaal’s Mansion! Here comes my nostalgic h…]

Saying that, pushing open the grand door, Subaru’s voice clogged up.

Because what greeted him was a completely different sight than what he expected.

The entrance hall was spread with gorgeous carpets, in the corners of the stairs leading to the upper floors were expensive looking vases filled with colorful flowers.

From the ceiling, hung beautiful crystal lamps that could be the chandeliers of this Parallel World.

The familiar entrance hall… was very much different from what he expected.

Instead of what he expected—

[Subaru: It’s not even vandalized…… it’s actually arranged!?]

The mats were straightened nicely without a single crease, and the flowers in the vases in the corners of the stairs were blooming vibrantly, the chandeliers were delicately taken care of and were shining graciously, even more than usual.

Stunned by this surreal scene, Subaru lost his words and stood still.

Because of his amazement, his reactions were all too slow.

[Subaru: —Who is it!?]

A small, weak, almost inaudible sound. Subaru frantically shot his glance toward its direction.

But, when he noticed the Shadow, it was already too late.

The Shadow had already ran up behind him and then—

Subaru saw it. From behind him, as if eclipsing the moon, the shadow engulfed him whole.

In that shadow… a mouth filled with white fangs, as if of a beast, were clear in the back of his eyes.

—And in the next moment, before he could even realize… Subaru’s consciousness, and his world, had been dragged to darkness.

-=Arc 4 Chapter 1 End=-