Chapter 92 - I’m Going to Lose My Breath
14 min read ·
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“...You know me?”
Hyeon-yul asked cautiously. He had tried not to let himself be shaken, but the shock hitting him was stronger than expected.
Something seemed to squeeze his chest. He did not know what the sensation was, but his throat suddenly stung.
The sensation felt both strange and deeply unfamiliar to him.
“...You’re a test subject.”
The correct answer came straight from the man’s mouth. There was no other conclusion. He truly knew Hyeon-yul.
Even so, Hyeon-yul’s mind grew colder. He needed to be more careful now.
“...Back then, you were a monster. How did you become human?”
Even the man’s expression changed. Hyeon-yul did not know how else to describe it. The man looked as though he were seeing a real god.
“Where did you see me?”
“At the experimental site, obviously. ...Right. I remember your name.”
How could he ever forget it? He had thought he would remember that name until the day he died.
The most beautiful darkness in the world.
“...REX-3333.”
At those words, Hyeon-yul quietly removed his helmet.
The man’s eyes widened. There was a face beneath it.
Two eyes, two ears, one nose, and one mouth. This was not merely something shaped like a person. Hyeon-yul was truly human.
Then Hyeon-yul released the magic on his smartwatch as well. The man’s already wide eyes looked ready to bulge out of his skull.
Cold sweat covered him, yet he no longer groaned from pain.
“...I-is this really your real appearance?”
The man’s voice trembled, almost breaking with emotion.
Beautiful was the only word that seemed capable of describing that test subject.
Their experiment had succeeded. The man looked as though he might burst into tears at any moment.
“Yes. Do you remember me?”
“...You grew up.”
The man could hardly believe it. The child had become an adult.
“You... grew.”
He wanted to shout more, but he no longer had the strength. His breathing weakened, and cold spread throughout his body.
“...Yes. If it’s like this, then it isn’t so bad.”
To die by that hand almost felt like an honor. If that hand was destined to cover the empire, then being killed by it meant becoming part of that future.
“I’ll ask again. Where did you see me?”
“...Wait. That person will come looking for you.”
The man smiled faintly before continuing.
“No. They probably already know.”
That phrase, “that person,” sounded unfamiliar and yet not unfamiliar at all.
“Who is that?”
Hyeon-yul clenched his fist. He kept wavering at the realization that these events had not merely happened around him. Someone had directed them.
“You’re supposed to become... something aimed at the empire. You have to.”
Hyeon-yul could not tell what the man meant he was supposed to become. The man never finished. His body went limp.
When Hyeon-yul saw no movement in the man’s chest, his fingertips trembled.
Should he not have killed him? Should he have been more careful?
Several thoughts surged forward before stopping all at once. That was not what mattered most right now.
‘...This bastard was one of them?’
Reality finally struck him. Hyeon-yul looked down.
The man had died smiling. Even in death, it felt as though he were laughing at Hyeon-yul.
A worthless piece of trash like this had been looking at him all those years.
He had watched Hyeon-yul every day, every single day, with that disgusting kind of gaze.
“...Ha.”
A sound slipped from Hyeon-yul’s mouth. He felt like laughing for some reason.
Hyeon-yul could not understand why. His heart began beating faster. Wind roared in his ears, and the sound seemed to grow louder and louder.
‘...Ah. So this is horrifying to me.’
He had finally found one person, only to lose him meaninglessly. Hyeon-yul did not even know his name.
He had no additional connection to follow. Where was he supposed to pursue this from now? Where was he supposed to start again?
Beyond the shattered wall, Hyeon-yul could see the night sky.
It was darkness, quiet and seemingly endless around him.
His gaze shifted toward the door.
BANG!
The sudden noise grated sharply against Hyeon-yul’s nerves.
BOOM!
Another impact sounded, and Hyeon-yul’s eyes sank deeper.
He was in a bad mood. He wished no one would provoke him any further.
His self-control was slipping. The instant he recognized that, he remembered his medication.
‘...Take the medicine.’
Hyeon-yul knew immediately that this was a dangerous sign.
He could not remember how he had escaped that place or where it had been. His mind had been too damaged.
All he remembered was the blood covering his entire body and its nauseating smell.
He had believed he killed all of them.
‘...No. The blood covering me wasn’t theirs. They’re still alive.’
The corner of Hyeon-yul’s mouth rose.
“Hehehe.”
A low, broken laugh escaped from Hyeon-yul’s mouth.
‘They’re alive.’
As Hyeon-yul reached for his medicine, a dagger appeared in his hand instead.
CLACK.
The medicine fell and rolled across the floor.
‘I can.’
His gaze moved toward the other side of the door. How many were there?
‘...I can kill those bastards.’
Black power flowed toward the dagger, like a savage black beast opening its jaws.
Kill them. Let’s kill them. They made us like this. Countless voices filled his ears at once.
He felt someone gripping his throat, drugs seeping through his veins, and pain like his skin being peeled away.
Hyeon-yul’s gaze dropped. His hand was melting downward.
That meant he was no longer in control.
The noise in his ears grew louder, and the pain intensified with it.
‘...No.’
Hyeon-yul’s entire body trembled. He let out a long breath and shut his eyes.
He had promised Jeongmin that he would not become a monster. He had to keep that promise.
“Hyeon-yul!”
A hand grabbed his shoulder, and the voice made him open his eyes in surprise.
“...A-are you okay?”
‘...I didn’t hear him. When did he get here?’
That realization shocked Hyeon-yul. His gaze shifted toward the door.
Everything had suddenly become quiet. Had Hyeon-yul imagined the sounds? Or had Shinwoo used his power?
“Your hand... What happened to your hand?”
Shinwoo stared at the missing hand. Something was melting away, but he could not tell what kind of power had caused it.
“We need to go. Right now. Hurry!”
“I’m fine. ...More importantly, didn’t you hear anything outside the door?”
Even as Hyeon-yul spoke, his own voice seemed buried beneath the voices still whispering in his ears. His breathing was getting faster.
“You’re still thinking about the mission right now? I handled it. I restrained everyone outside. So come on. We need to go.”
“...I’m fine.”
“How is this fine? Your hand melted.”
“I only need to take my medicine.”
Hyeon-yul clenched his remaining hand into a fist, but it trembled violently.
Shinwoo’s face twisted as he looked around. The medicine had rolled across the floor.
He immediately rushed over and picked up the bottle.
“This is what you mean, right?”
“Thank you.”
When had he dropped it? That had almost become dangerous.
Hyeon-yul took out the medicine with practiced movements and chewed it before swallowing.
“You take that without water? It has to be incredibly bitter.”
“It’s fine.”
After answering, Hyeon-yul let out a long breath. The whispering voices faded.
The sensations that had been pressing in from every direction disappeared as well.
Shinwoo watched Hyeon-yul’s condition with growing unease.
‘What happened that was so serious he didn’t even see our messages?’
Only Nayun knew what had happened. Shinwoo did not understand the details, but seeing Hyeon-yul’s hand melt was enough to make his chest feel heavy.
While Shinwoo could not tear his gaze away, Hyeon-yul’s hand returned to normal as though someone had reversed footage of sand spilling away.
Shinwoo forced his expression under control, but his emotions churned violently inside.
‘...Damn it.’
He knew Hyeon-yul had been a test subject. Because Hyeon-yul looked normal from the outside, Shinwoo kept forgetting what that truly meant.
‘Without the medicine... can he not even control his own body?’
“My body became unstable just now, but this normally doesn’t happen.”
Hyeon-yul spoke first. Hadn’t he just displayed uselessness? That was unacceptable.
He reactivated the magic on his smartwatch and pulled his helmet back out of the darkness.
“That man said he knew me.”
“...What?”
Hyeon-yul pointed at the dead man while Shinwoo stared in shock.
Hyeon-yul did not know the man’s name. He had not even asked what the man had done back then.
He had not been able to ask where he himself had been held either.
But he would find out soon enough. Wasn’t that why they had rescued the White Sparrows?
Hyeon-yul glanced upward. His messages were overflowing.
<Hyeon-yul? Hyeon-yul?>
<What’s wrong? What happened to Hyeon-yul?>
After Nayun, even Shinwoo had sent messages.
<I don’t know. Hyeon-yul, what’s wrong? Are you okay? Don’t do that. Stop manipulating the magic! Jihwan! The door, block the door!>
<I already blocked it! What’s wrong with Hyeon-yul hyung? What happened?>
<I don’t know. Something’s different. I think he lost himself.>
The urgency of the situation was obvious from the messages.
Hyeon-yul rubbed both hands over his face.
He had made a mistake. He did not know how they would look at him now.
‘...This is bad. If they fire me, I’m in trouble.’
He would not even be able to cover his hospital bills. Then there was the debt.
He had died from overwork and come to another world, yet reality was equally cold everywhere.
Money was still the problem. That damned money still held him by the ankle.
‘Doctor will worry too.’
Jeongmin had been so happy simply because they moved from that cramped home into a larger one.
How sad would Jeongmin be if Hyeon-yul lost it again?
As the thoughts surged in, Hyeon-yul took another pill.
“Hyeon-yul?”
At Shinwoo’s voice, Hyeon-yul lowered his hands. His expression had returned to its usual emotionless state.
Even so, Shinwoo wondered whether Hyeon-yul was truly the same as usual.
“The White Sparrow I was trying to rescue is already dead. That man is a fake.”
Hyeon-yul returned to the mission and pointed at the dead fake White Sparrow.
“Baek Shinwoo hyung, did you rescue the others?”
“I did.”
Shinwoo did not understand why that mattered right now, but he answered anyway.
Hyeon-yul reached one hand toward the nearby doorway.
“Then we can leave.”
“...Wait, Hyeon-yul.”
Shinwoo glanced toward the door where the villains were and began speaking.
“I’m fine.”
Hyeon-yul’s answer was almost cold as he moved beyond the doorway.
—That man said he knew me.
Only slowly did Shinwoo understand that the words Hyeon-yul had tossed out so lightly were not light at all.
‘...No. How could that possibly be fine?’
Hyeon-yul had said he had no memories of his past. He had finally found a clue, only to lose it right in front of him.
He had to be drowning in despair and close to losing his mind.
Was Hyeon-yul simply forcing himself to endure all of it?
Shinwoo looked at the dead man and began searching the body. He needed to recover something, anything.
He rummaged through the clothes until his hands were soaked red with blood.
“Why aren’t you coming?”
Hyeon-yul’s voice reached him. Shinwoo had not heard footsteps returning, yet Hyeon-yul’s next words sounded closer.
“What are you doing with the body?”
“Searching it.”
“For what?”
“Evidence.”
“There isn’t any.”
“There might be more.”
“There isn’t.”
“I should still look.”
“They aren’t that careless. You’ll only get your hands dirty.”
Hyeon-yul’s gaze turned cold. How could he not know this better than anyone?
These people created countless useless businesses precisely to prevent anyone from identifying their real locations.
“There had to be a reason you thought that. But Hyeon-yul, there are still ways to search. Clothing, accessories, shoes, and other details can sometimes narrow things down.”
“You don’t need to do that. Didn’t the White Sparrow infiltrate this place to obtain exactly that kind of information? We can ask the White Sparrow.”
“Normally, I would think the same and stop. But right now, you’re desperate.”
The hand holding Hyeon-yul’s unused helmet trembled briefly. A crease formed near his eyes.
He did not understand. That was what his expression said.
“I said my younger brother died, but the truth is I’m still looking for him.”
“You’re still searching?”
Even though he was dead? Why?
Hyeon-yul did not say the rest. He did not fully understand, but he felt those were words he should not say.
“We never found the body. I can’t say it’s the same as your situation, but I’ve never forgotten him even once. You haven’t forgotten either, right?”
“I can’t forget. How could I? Those are almost the only memories I have.”
“That’s what I mean. If I found even one clue, I would’ve done exactly this.”
Shinwoo bit his lip hard after finishing. His brother was supposed to be dead, so none of this should matter.
But if he were alive, Shinwoo would have traced every piece of clothing, every shoe, every accessory, trying to learn where each had been purchased.
He would have chased even a single fallen strand of hair to learn where it had come from.
Even after being told his brother was dead, Shinwoo had never been able to accept the truth because he had never seen the body.
“Don’t throw away the first real chance you’ve finally found.”
“I’m not throwing it away. Do you really think clothing can lead us anywhere? He doesn’t even buy those things himself. Even if he has people running errands, he changes them regularly. Those errand runners constantly change the companies they supposedly work for. Even the cards they use keep changing. They make it impossible to tell what is real and what is fake. ...You already know it would only waste time.”
Hyeon-yul approached Shinwoo. He had already tried all of that countless times.
He had even learned hacking for that exact reason.
“No high-ranking villain uses their own bank account. Everything is fake. I tried it all. Hearing information directly and chasing that trail is the fastest route. No matter how powerful a villain leader is, the one thing they can never control perfectly is people.”
People were not systems. That was why they always created the most openings.
“You don’t need to do this.”
The calm way Hyeon-yul said it made Shinwoo’s chest ache even more.
“...I’m sorry, Hyeon-yul.”
Shinwoo apologized. He had crossed a line. Hyeon-yul understood the problem far better, yet Shinwoo had forced his own emotions into it.
“I don’t understand why you’re apologizing or why you’re doing this.”
There was no clear connection between Shinwoo’s situation and Hyeon-yul’s.
Was this sincerity or an act?
Hyeon-yul weighed the possibilities, then held out a hand. Even if it were an act, no one had ever gone this far for him before.
That was why Hyeon-yul finally offered Shinwoo his hand.
“I don’t understand, but you don’t need to apologize.”
“My hand is... pretty dirty right now.”
Shinwoo hesitated. It was covered in blood, hardly something he should place in Hyeon-yul’s hand.
The darkness beneath their feet suddenly stirred and wrapped around Shinwoo’s hand. It was far colder than he expected.
Before Shinwoo could fully react, his hand was clean.
“Now it’s fine.”
“...That’s convenient.”
“I also thought Baek Shinwoo hyung’s ability was convenient.”
“It is pretty convenient.”
Only then did Shinwoo smile and take Hyeon-yul’s hand, using it to stand.
“Anyway, you did well.”
“...What?”
“I’m saying we completed the mission thanks to you.”
“But that man was the president.”
“What?”
“He was the leader of this faction.”
“...W-what?”
Shinwoo stared in horror. He had no idea what Hyeon-yul meant.
“I killed the leader. Is that actually okay?”
“Wait!”
Shinwoo knew it was disgusting, but he immediately lifted the corpse. There was no helping it.
He ran straight toward the door. Hyeon-yul watched for a moment, then picked up the severed arm Shinwoo had forgotten and followed him through.
“You forgot one arm...”
A scream erupted immediately, making Hyeon-yul step back.
“Are you insane?”
Nayun shouted in horror. Then she noticed the arm in Hyeon-yul’s hand and raised her voice even more.
“You’re copying him! What are we supposed to do about this?”
Hyeon-yul was copying that idiot Shinwoo. That absolutely could not be allowed.
“I know it looks insane! But this guy was the leader!”
“...What?”
Nayun blinked at Shinwoo’s shout, completely lost.
What was any of this supposed to mean?
“Hyeon-yul told me. Right, Hyeon...”
Shinwoo’s eyes widened. Hyeon-yul’s head was tilting sideways.
Someone rushed past Shinwoo and caught Hyeon-yul before he fell.
“I-I caught him!”
Jihwan ended up on the floor beneath Hyeon-yul’s collapsing body.
“Hyung! Wake up...”
Jihwan stopped when the severed arm slipped from Hyeon-yul’s grasp and hit the floor.
The severed arm had fallen off and landed beside them.
“His a-arm fell off!”
“That’s not Hyeon-yul’s arm.”
Shinwoo set the corpse down and pulled Hyeon-yul onto his back.
“Let’s go first.”
“...W-what about the body?”
Nayun stared at the corpse in confusion.
“We take it with us.”
“You’re insane, Baek Shinwoo...”
Nayun looked at Shinwoo as though she wanted to shoot him in the head, but calling the Eagle transport came first.