Chapter 3 - A Terrorist Attack Always Strikes the Train to the Academy (1)

Every genre had its formulas. Those things called clichés. It was only natural, when you thought about it. Stories needed something in common to constitute a particular genre.

Take the classic hero story, for instance. In Ivan's view, that tired old genre followed this format:

A Demon King, or some other great adversary, appears. The hero forms a party. The hero sets out on a journey to defeat the Demon King. The story follows them as they defeat the Demon King's commanders one by one. One of those commanders becomes captivated by the hero. At the journey's end, the Demon King dies, and peace returns to the world.

That format was why Ivan had thought this world was a classic hero story. But now he was frantically dredging up Kim Seonwoo's memories from thirty years ago to compile a list.

What were the formulas of the academy genre?

* * *

The Princess had gone on about how "winter is coming," as though she belonged to House St*rk, but she was wrong. It was January. Naturally, winter was already in full swing, and the orphanage had just thrown a lavish New Year's party.

In other words, there was still some time before the university began its term.

"An academy..."

Ivan sank into thought, yearning for the reference notes he had impulsively burned thirty years ago. He remembered having a few academy stories in there. He could barely recall their titles now... but he thought they involved a Heavenly Demon going to an academy, or someone drawing a sword there, or a shaman going there, or a sorcerer...

A hasty list of whatever came to mind looked like this. A sort of academy formula.

'Anything can turn up at an academy.'

Literally anything, from cowboys to Heavenly Demons. Which meant that included assassins ready to plunge a blade into the backs of the Hero's Party's precious sons and daughters.

'An academy will always come under attack.'

Sadly, academies suffered more frequent invasions than strategic fortresses on the front lines. It was widely known that, statistically, the probability of an academy being invaded approached 98% unless the protagonist dropped out.

'Demons infiltrate the academy.'

At this point, the Demon King was dead, all Seven Dragon Generals were dead or missing, and the demons had either been enslaved or driven to the ends of the earth. Leaving aside how they could suddenly infiltrate the heart of the United Kingdoms—and a mere educational institution, of all places—demon sympathizers or demons themselves were guaranteed to sneak into the academy.

He could rule out demihumans like goblins and orcs for now. They didn't have the sort of appearance that let them hide, however hard they tried. It was better to assume the infiltrators were creatures capable of changing their appearance, like succubi or daemons.

'There are traitors among the undergraduates and staff.'

He needed to find a staff member who was unusually hostile to the protagonist. That person was likely a demon mole.

'There are secret ruins or hidden relics within the academy.'

Jansk University was a new institution founded less than ten years ago, an indisputably national university built in the middle of the capital on the former king's personal orders. Yet for some reason, he had to assume it contained a "Chamber of Secrets"...

'Academy undergraduates fall into three broad categories: students, demon-affiliated villains, and government agents.'

"Students" here didn't mean model pupils who studied hard. They were practically ticking time bombs themselves. They were forever getting caught up in trouble and needing rescue, and of course, the protagonist was inevitably the one who had to save them.

The remaining students—the ones who stayed out of trouble—fell into two further categories: quiet students mentioned only by name, and students jealous of the protagonist. Of course, all of that could be treated as a cute part of school life. The problem was what came next.

Students with demon ties. People who really ought to be classified as demon moles, demon spies, or demon partisans.

'Kill them preemptively whenever I spot them.'

The orphanage director, a former Extermination Unit officer, narrowed his eyes and underlined that. After all, the best way to protect your allies was to exterminate your enemies.

So far, this was practically an ordinary hobby.

'Next, government agents.'

When so many children of internationally prominent figures enrolled, naturally, agents would be dispatched to protect them. The problem was that agents rarely went abroad with only a single mission to carry out. In other words, the children's bodyguards would spend their free time serving as excellent spies for allied nations.

He couldn't kill those people, either. Their countries weren't hostile powers, so laying a hand on them would immediately cause a diplomatic incident. On paper, they would be students.

'With no age restrictions, it wouldn't be strange for agents who served during the war to enroll.'

The orphanage director, a former Extermination Unit officer, stroked his chin, troubled. It would be better if people he knew showed up. At least they could talk things through.

Ivan thought this as he gazed steadily at the hatchet displayed on the wall beside his office entrance.

'If an instructor says an academy exam, training exercise, or any other situation is "safe," a crisis is guaranteed to follow.'

This was why companies needed to abolish internal safety inspections and outsource all of them. Given that academies had more spies, assassins, demons, and traitors than students, the headmaster's office was about the only safe place. Even Dumbl*dore hadn't died in his office.

Normally, a headmaster or university president held an important position that ought to go to an administrator. Strangely enough, though, it was "common sense" that an academy's headmaster would be the strongest person in the setting...

Next. The most important part. Time to recall an academy story's "ending conditions"...

'An academy story's ending conditions are "survival" and "world peace"... Wait. Hold on.'

If this world was an academy story, and everything that had happened so far was nothing more than "backstory"...

Let's lay it out. The Demon King had appeared, the hero had killed him, and peace had returned to the world.

Now, a mere four years after the war's end, the United Kingdoms were on the verge of shattering. Each nation was busily rebuilding for the moment, but competition over resources and colonies was growing ever fiercer. In the countless occupied territories that had once been demon homelands, the various nations' military administrations were still exploiting demon slaves.

At a time like this, what could qualify as the main story?

'A world war? No, that can't be it.'

Academy stories featured protagonists roughly of high-school to college age. If a war broke out that warranted the grand label of "world war," rather than a mere local conflict, there were all too clear limits to what those students could accomplish.

Then...

'The Demon King's resurrection...?'

Ivan took a sip of coffee and stared grimly at his notepad. However he looked at it, that made the most sense. A story about the successors of the Hero's Party confronting a resurrected Demon King to restore peace to the world.

Taking the Demon King's resurrection as a given, assuming the students dropped out around their second year... and expecting the invasion of the academy to happen at least a year from now...

What did he need to do right away?

He added one more sentence to his notes, picked up his coat, and stood.

[A terrorist attack always strikes the train (or other transport) carrying students to the academy.]

Ever since Harry P*tter, students always took the train to enroll at an academy if the setting had trains. (Otherwise, they sometimes took carriages. What trains and carriages had in common was that both were vulnerable to terrorist attacks. In fact, all forms of transport were vulnerable to terrorist attacks. Traveling on foot was no different.)

And the United Kingdoms were now using the military railways they had laid so feverishly during the war for civilian transport. Of course, even military trains were vulnerable to terrorist attacks. Ivan's eighteen years of military service could attest to that.

The demons had also favored trains for transporting military supplies inland, so Ivan had both prevented and carried out more attacks on trains than he cared to count. That was simply how the Extermination Unit's work always went.

Today, as always, Ivan missed South Korea. That peaceful world where boarding a train meant a fight to the death with stone-baked eggs or tuna gimbap, not terrorists or mounted bandits.

Stone-baked eggs and tuna gimbap were added to Ivan's "List of Things to Eat When I Get Back to Earth."

* * *

"Just you wait!! You just wait! All of you, watch closely!! See how—how successful I become!!"

Esidisi stood on the train platform with an instrument case and a rolling suitcase, sniffling as she glared at the crowd. They were seeing her off with enormous banners.

[Great King Einar's Eldest Daughter! Admitted to St. Jansk University at the Top of Her Class!!]

She hadn't even ranked second, let alone first, but Esidisi didn't argue. They had written those things specifically to enjoy that sort of reaction from her.

[We're So Proud! The Kingdom of Droan's Greatest! Beauty!] [With the Blood of the Great Conqueror, Great King Einar, in Her Veins, She Sets Out to Conquer Orchestral Music!!]

"What's!! So wrong!! With orchestral musiiiic!!"

Esidisi shrieked, then turned and boarded the train. Roars of laughter rose behind her.

Mean, mean people. The least they could do was cheer her on...!

The train pulled away, carrying her off as she buried her face in her sleeves and sobbed. The crowd watching her through the window began to disperse, murmuring among themselves.

"This will help the young lady steel herself, won't it?"

"Of course. Just think whose daughter she is!"

"Those Krasilof folk are so pale, I can't quite trust them..."

"Still, the old master hasn't sent her alone, so don't worry. I'm sure he'll see to things."

The crowd that had been teasing Esidisi—Great King Einar's retainers—departed, each murmuring words of concern.

The eldest daughter of Einar Ulriksson, "The Slaughterer," Berserker of the Hero's Party: Esidisi Einarsdottir.

Enrolled in the Orchestral Music Department at St. Jansk University's College of Music!

* * *

Two days later, the very train that had received such a grand send-off from the retainers of Einar, High King of Droan, would overturn near the border of the Kingdom of Krasilof.

Naturally, it was "common sense" that a train taking new students to the academy would become embroiled in a terrorist attack, so Ivan wasn't surprised.

Instead, he picked up his pistol and axe.