Chapter 54 - Subway (3)

Hadn't he said earlier that he'd blocked off all the entrances leading to other stations?

Of course, there was no time to ask. I kept my mouth shut and followed him, retracing our route along the green mushrooms.

The noise behind us grew steadily more distant. Was it not that fast? And what was it in the first place? There was so much I wanted to ask, but I couldn't say a word.

The nameless man made no particular effort to soften his footsteps. He jogged at an easy pace. So easy that I wondered whether we'd be caught.

The platform screen doors appeared again. My senior passed indifferently by the place we'd run in through. I kept running too, without looking at the open screen doors.

Before long, we came upon something like a small cart with its wheels resting on the rails.

"Water-spraying cart," he said curtly. "Hold on tight. I've made it a little faster."

I scrambled aboard. The cart set off with a clunk.

It wasn't as fast as I'd expected.

No sooner had I thought that than it began picking up speed. The air whipped painfully past my ears. I instinctively gripped the edge of the cart. It raced down the rails.

"Actually, we could take them on if you're confident."

That was a strange thing to say. I turned from watching the gently curving tracks to look at him.

"Pardon?"

"I'm saying we can fight the ones chasing you if you're confident you can beat them."

It took me a long time to process that. Surely he couldn't mean what I thought he meant. By the time I realized that fear was well founded, we'd reached the end of the station.

A wall of earth blocked the way. He slammed on the brakes, bringing the cart to a halt.

"True. We don't know how many of them there are, so we can't risk it."

He jumped off without even waiting for my answer.

There were no mushrooms here. Our surroundings were almost entirely dark. Only a small glow-in-the-dark sticker on the cart gave off a faint light. With all my senses on alert, I carefully climbed off after him.

He was bending over in the darkness.

"... What are you doing?"

"Follow me in, then shut the entrance properly."

He suddenly vanished into the wall.

I groped about for the spot where he'd disappeared. Unable to see, all I could do was flail around. Only after several minutes did I figure out where he'd gone. There was a passage in the wall. My arm slipped into the darkness.

Not a single ray of light reached inside the passage.

Was this what it felt like to be blind? I stumbled inside and fumbled around until I finally managed to close the door. When it shut, even the light I hadn't realized was there disappeared. I couldn't tell how high the ceiling was or how wide the passage might be.

I stretched my arms out to either side, and my left hand touched the wall. I began walking, acutely aware of the texture beneath my left hand and the sounds ahead.

What a strange feeling.

"What is this passage?" I whispered, trying not to fall behind or collide with the Badger ahead of me.

His answer came from the pitch-black darkness.

"I dug it. It connects to three stations."

"That's impressive."

"Which hand have you got on the wall?"

I was worried I'd hit my head. Suppressing my unease, I answered, "My left."

"Good. Keep walking without taking your left hand off, and you'll reach our destination."

"How far do we have to go?"

"It'll take a while."

After a brief silence, he spoke again.

"Even this won't let us shake them completely, but it should put some distance between us."

"I suppose that's the best we can do."

"Fake recruit."

He meant me, presumably? I really needed to question this man. He definitely knew something. I did my best to ignore my churning stomach and answered.

"Yes?"

"Do you still like humans?"

I was silent for a long time.

Without speaking, I searched through my memories. There weren't many to search through. Fragments that surfaced out of nowhere, and memories I'd made since. Whenever I tried to sleep, I held them close and cherished them.

Where were my roots? I wished I had memories that could give me firm ground to stand on. With none to rely on, I'd been stumbling ever since I'd opened my eyes. I'd barely kept from falling by leaning on the memories and instincts that surfaced unbidden, and on the kindness of those around me.

But there was one fragment I clung to on nights when an inexplicable sense of loss kept me awake. My own voice from long ago, surfacing at the moment I'd thought my life was over.

["I should love humans after all."]

I pressed my hand firmly against the wall.

"Yes."

"... That's a relief."

"Sir. Am I not human?" I asked quietly.

His footsteps stopped. I stopped too. Though I couldn't possibly see his face, I raised my head and looked ahead.

"... What are you talking about?"

"I've lost my memory," I replied calmly to his stunned question. "It hasn't been long since I woke up inside the core with my memories gone. Please tell me everything you know about me."

Silence.

Time passed with touch as my only sensation. As though my sight, hearing, and sense of smell had all gone numb.

Staying here too long would mess with anyone's head. Despite having just dropped a bombshell, that was what I calmly found myself thinking.

Ah. He seemed to be looking back at me from where he'd stopped a few paces ahead. It was only a hunch, but I felt as though he was staring intently at my face.

"That had better be true."

"It is," I readily replied to the subdued voice that finally broke the silence. "Unfortunately, it's the truth. How do you know me, sir?"

Another long silence.

I was glad the darkness hid his expression. Would I get an answer? No. Did I even want one? I couldn't tell whether I should feel fear or hope.

His reply was slow in coming.

"How did you become a Badger?"

"Yehyeon took me in."

"Yehyeon? Commander-in-chief Yehyeon? Why? Because he couldn't bring himself to dispose of your enhanced body?"

"That's what I thought, but it seems that wasn't his only reason."

"Why? What did he say?"

"... That I'm something like his joker. That only time will tell whether I'll be a winning card or a losing one..."

He drew a breath.

Was that too embarrassing to say out loud? Calling me a joker or whatever did sound awfully grand for someone who didn't have a damn thing going for him.

Feeling awkward, I stared into the darkness where his head should have been. Until he burst into a fit of laughter.

"That bastard knows too!"

After laughing for a long time (it was a little frightening), he finally spoke.

"I thought he was completely in the dark. But he knew everything. Well, given his position. He'd seen the truth and been preparing for it all along. Right. It's been so long since I saw him, I'd forgotten. That's the kind of bastard he is. That's who he always was."

"Uh. Sir, I'd like to know that truth too."

"Yehyeon wouldn't tell you?"

No, he wouldn't. More precisely, he seemed to want me to recall my past on my own. He did give me time to ask questions whenever we spoke.

When I explained that, he hummed thoughtfully.

"What did he say when you told him you'd lost your memory? You must've told Yehyeon you couldn't remember anything."

"I'm not sure. The others reported it to him. He didn't say anything in particular to me..."

Ah. Right. When we first met.

["Forgetting can be a blessing, after all."]

He'd said that. It had sounded as though he was talking to himself. Even now, I could recall that moment with photographic clarity. Sunlight pouring through the floor-to-ceiling windows onto the desk. Long, pale fingers gently closing a file.

When I explained, the man ahead of me snorted.

"You'll have to remember everything in the end. Some blessing."

"Then please help me remember it all. I'm genuinely desperate here."

"Let's start walking again first. At this rate, they'll catch us and kill us."

'Just answer me!'

Had my desperate plea gotten through? Not long after his footsteps resumed, he told me. It was a massive bombshell.

"You're not human."

Fuck.

"At least, your former comrades I met out here claim they're not human. I don't know how much of that's true. They haven't told me everything, either. They don't trust me."

"... Then what are they?"

"Are you crying?"

I was trying not to.

Couldn't he pretend not to notice how desperately I was trying to steady my trembling voice? I struggled to hold back the tears threatening to spill. Riccardo had said I couldn't be a level-ten creature. And Ro had answered, ["But you look human?"]

Did that mean those two had been wrong, and the seniors who'd looked at me like I was an alien had been right?

I felt the ground slope beneath my feet. For a long while, I simply walked without a word.

He broke the silence again.

"Don't touch the walls when we reach the other station. They've got mouths."

"... Why are we going somewhere like that?"

"We've got to go somewhere our lives are hanging by a thread if we want the ones following us in the same position."

He wasn't wrong. Though there was the small flaw that we might die before they caught up.

I didn't voice that thought. I still wasn't confident I could speak without my voice cracking.

I was also too busy trying to process the enormous bombshell the deserter had dropped. Ignoring it wouldn't improve the situation. I needed to think rationally. He seemed to have met these supposed former comrades of mine while living as a deserter. And apparently, he'd heard about me from them. They must have introduced me as their traitor or something.

And like them, I wasn't human.

Fucking hell. How was I supposed to face Ami and Riccardo now?

"But I look human..."

"We're almost there," he said abruptly.

I'd been walking with my head down, but now I craned my neck. I still couldn't see anything, but I could hear the tension in his voice.

He added quietly, "Whatever happens, don't touch the walls."

"Yes, sir."

"There shouldn't be any creatures in sight, but if there are, shove them into a wall and run instead of fighting."

"Yes, sir."

"And don't listen to the bells."

"Pardon?"

What did that mean?

I saw a faint light. A long, narrow strip, like light leaking through a crack in an open door.

I was so glad to have my sight back that tears came to my eyes. Not that I'd ever lost it.

As the door slowly opened, the patch of light grew. I could now see his back in clear silhouette. Stepping toward the light, he murmured, "You can hear bells in this station."

"Bells?"

"Nothing that followed the sound ever came back."

He didn't look back at me.

The dark passage ended. A flash of light, and my vision returned in sharp detail. I stepped into the light after him as he began to run, listening to the fear in his voice.

"Shut your ears and run."

Gritting my teeth, I ran after him.