Chapter 11 - Golden Poison Frog (1)

There was a slang term for this: going to shit. In other words, a complete mess.

I'd only posted to say thank you, but a few people barged in and the comments went to shit in an instant. First Slutty Princess, then King Leor out of nowhere, and countless anonymous users on top of that. Everyone was swearing or insulting each other's parents. My comment notifications wouldn't stop going off.

'Doesn't the admin crack down on this stuff?'

As far as I knew, the admin stepped in when things got too heated. There was a similar rule in the notice. Even if it was sports fans arguing, once they started making personal attacks, it stopped being about sports.

└Don't Abandon the Hero: Stop! If you keep spamming, I'll ban you!

└Slutty Princess: But that asshole started it?

└King Leor: They're talking absolute nonsense.

Don't Abandon the Hero: That doesn't mean you can fight in someone else's post! I'll open an arena, so fight there!

└Slutty Princess: Okaaay

└King Leor: ok ok

The admin appeared as soon as that thought crossed my mind and ordered them to take their fight out of my post and into the arena.

Everyone obediently disappeared. At last, I was free of notification hell.

Shortly afterward, a new post from the admin appeared on the forum.

Arena: Which Team Has More Heritage?

A quick refresh brought a flood of comments. Clicking into that wasn't going to do me any good.

I'd heard posts stirring up conflict between nations earned a ban, but apparently sports got a pass. Of course, the admin would step in if it got too heated. They were pretty good at their job.

'I'll just get on with my own business.'

Now that I'd returned all the compasses, I set about devising a way to tackle the golden poison frog.

First of all, the river it lived in was a natural fortress in its own right. The water was so ridiculously clear that judging its depth was difficult, and the current was fairly fast. If I went in, one shot of spit would kill me. A ranged attack was essential.

'A bow would be... tricky. Is a crossbow my best bet?'

I didn't know how to use a bow. A crossbow, at least, ought to be relatively easy to handle.

I currently had about 650 gold deposited in the forum, earned from selling the steelscale snake. I wasn't sure whether that would buy a crossbow, especially the kind I wanted. First, I'd make a post.

Crossbow question

Wild Grylls

I'm planning to catch the frog. Are there crossbows that work like harpoons?

One where the bolt's attached to the crossbow so you can reel the target in after hitting it.

└Sword Masta: Why do you need a crossbow?

└Wild Grylls: To catch the frog. The river's too deep to just go in.

└Sword Masta: Couldn't you just launch some sword energy?

└Wild Grylls: Uh...

└Sword Masta: Or you could walk on the water.

└Wild Grylls: Excuse me?

Was this person messing with me? All I could do was laugh in disbelief.

Still, considering the swordsmanship expertise they'd posted, they might actually have meant it. I had to stress several times that I was an ordinary person before that conversation finally wound down.

└Heavenly Demon: Why not master the internal energy cultivation method I shall impart to you before hunting it?

└Wild Grylls: I need water to live, ma'am.

└Heavenly Demon: I can supply you with ample water.

└Wild Grylls: Then I won't be able to get help when I really need it.

As I'd said before, I intended to ask for help only when I truly needed it. It was like a lifeline.

Until then, I needed to be self-sufficient. Either that or earn money and buy things at the auction house. Besides, a crossbow could come in handy in all sorts of situations like this.

└Passing Dwarf: I could modify one to do what you want.

└Wild Grylls: About how much would that cost?

└Passing Dwarf: It's dwarf-made, so about 500 gold. That okay?

"What the fuck..."

Why so expensive? Did it have diamonds embedded in it? That was far beyond anything I'd expected.

I'd been told about 300 gold covered a commoner's living expenses for a month. This was way more than that. Maybe it was because it was dwarf-made, like in novels, though I didn't know if that applied to this world too.

└It's dwarf-made. Of course it's expensive, yeah.

└Isn't that actually cheap? For a crossbow.

└Crossbows vary a lot depending on who makes them.

└Probably more than anything except swords?

└Passing Dwarf: Factor in the modification cost too. This is seriously cheap. I'm doing it because I feel bad.

└Wild Grylls: About what?

└Passing Dwarf: Telling you to go be fertilizer. Didn't realize things were that serious.

└Wild Grylls: Hmm. How much is a regular crossbow?

└Passing Dwarf: Dunno about human stuff.

└Around 30 gold, probably?

└Yeah, and a regular bow's around 10.

└Wild Grylls: What the fuck kind of markup is that?

└Passing Dwarf: Don't buy it if you don't want it.

└Wild Grylls: Now, now. I never said I wasn't buying.

└lmaooo look at that turnaround

Regardless, this was an opportunity. Passing Dwarf was probably the only person who could give me the kind of crossbow I wanted.

It was expensive, but everyone said dwarf-made goods were reliable, so I was willing to pay. Even if I got scammed, I could simply never buy from him again. If it really didn't work out, I'd get a crossbow from someone else.

└Let's Grow Trees: Bows are better than crossbows, of course. This is proven in the World Tree Watermelon Diagram as well.

└What's this knife-ear doing here?

└There they go with the World Tree Watermelon Diagram again.

└Historically, they're not wrong, but...

└Let me guess, everything else is in that diagram too? lol

└Wild Grylls: I'm using a crossbow because it's urgent. Can't use a bow.

└Let's Grow Trees: I see. Then why not practice archery and discover the greatness of us elves while you're at it?

└Greatness my ass lmao

└Loads of people shoot better than knife-ears lol

└Here we go, the knife-ears are getting active again...

└Let's Grow Trees: But generally speaking, the bow is the symbol of elves. Let me turn the question around. Which race comes to mind when you think of bows?

└Fuck, I hate it but they're right. Can't argue.

└Those knife-eared bastards can shoot, I'll give them that lmao

└What good does that do? They have no frontline and get wrecked anyway lol

Unlike all the imperialist baggage, bows being the symbol of elves apparently counted as common knowledge. At least that part matched what I knew. I added a comment to the now-bustling post.

└Wild Grylls: My country was really good at archery too.

└Let's Grow Trees: Were your ancestors elves, by any chance?

└Wild Grylls: No, uh...

└lmaooo not a single prejudice there

└Can't tell if that's good or bad lol

└Wild Grylls: Besides, my world only had humans.

└Let's Grow Trees: Only humans in the entire world? That's impossible!

└He says he's from another world. Be understanding.

└Poor guy. Just let it slide.

└It's a persona lol

It wasn't a persona. It was true, but they wouldn't believe me. Well, it didn't really matter. Whether they believed me or not, all I had to do was survive here.

└But you really are good at archery, right?

└Wild Gryll: Yeah, really good. Not me personally, though.

└Any reason? A racial trait or something?

└Wild Grylls: Lots of countries above and below us we want to shoot lol

└lmaoooo

└Pfft hahahaha

└This guy's fucking nuts lmaoooo

└Passing Dwarf: Hey. Done modifying it. Send a trade request.

Apparently, Passing Dwarf had finished the modifications while I waited. I sent a trade request immediately.

A dwarf-made crossbow. How good would it be? Hopefully, it would justify that hefty price.

Passing Dwarf has registered an item for trade.

Passing Dwarf

I threw in the harpoon bolt you wanted and a few other bolts.

Just so you know, the harpoon bolt's range is short as fuuuck.

How short?

Passing Dwarf

Maximum range is around 50 meters.

Around fifty meters. I recalled the width of the stream where the golden frog lived.

It was narrow enough to call a stream rather than a river. It was just very deep. Still, considering the golden frog's spit, that range was cutting it close. Ideally, I would ambush it from cover.

Okay for now. Putting up the money too.

Passing Dwarf

Added a pair of gloves just in case.

How much are those? I'll pay extra.

Passing Dwarf

Stop being a sucker and just take them...

I felt bad accepting more when he'd already willingly given me toilet paper, but somehow I'd ended up with gloves too. Touching the frog carelessly could get me into serious trouble, so they were a pretty appropriate gift.

I'd have to give him some good herbs if I found any later. Or a hide. Since he was definitely a blacksmith, a hide would probably be better than herbs.

'Let's see. He sent it in a box.'

A box appeared once the trade was complete. I opened the neatly squared box. The crossbow and gloves were the first things I saw.

Then I noticed a bottle tucked inside. That was completely unexpected, and I stared at it in puzzlement.

'What's this?'

It was a brown bottle sealed with a cork. The cork made me realize what it was.

Booze. I remembered the dwarf saying he'd give me a bottle if I didn't kill myself. I hadn't expected him to actually send it. Every time I dealt with him, he turned out to be a bit of a softie.

'I'll save this for later.'

I'd use it as something like an anesthetic or painkiller later. Being drunk helped you forget the pain to some extent.

I carefully set the bottle by the wall so it wouldn't break, then inspected the crossbow. It was mostly black, with a pretty stylish design—perhaps because a dwarf had made it.

'So it's attached to the bolt.'

A thin rope connected the harpoon-shaped bolt to the crossbow. I could roughly figure out how it worked.

Time to test it. As far as I knew, crossbows were difficult to make, not to use. I put my foot into the bracket-like part at the front. That was how I'd heard you were supposed to do it.

Then I set the crossbow down, pinned it with my foot, and all I had to do was pull the string back to cock it...

CLUNK

"Huh?"

... Except, what was wrong with this thing? I was a little flustered. I pulled the string, but it wouldn't budge. My body jerked with the effort.

At first, I thought it was caught on something. But when I pulled harder, the string gradually rose.

"Graaaagh!"

Only after letting out a full-throated grunt did I finally manage to cock it. I panted, utterly dumbfounded.

What kind of crossbow was this, that even cocking it took so much effort? Was this supposed to be normal? In a world with superhumans who could smash mountains with their bare hands, it wasn't impossible.

Sighing, I loaded a bolt. The harpoon bolt first. I needed to conserve the others, so I'd start with the reusable one.

'It has a stock too. Aiming should be easy.'

It was also fairly light for its size, which made aiming easier. I stepped out of the cave and aimed at a tree some distance away.

Firing at the hard cave wall might damage the harpoon, so a tree was a suitable target.

'Hold my breath...'

TWANG!

The instant I pulled the trigger, I heard the air split. The string's tension was so powerful that the gust even ruffled my hair.

THUNK!

The harpoon shot out and punched straight through the center of the upright tree.

Let me repeat that: it didn't lodge in it. It went through. The power was truly terrifying. Even that golden frog wouldn't stand a chance against this. It wouldn't know what hit it.

'So that's why it's expensive.'

Marveling at the power, which far exceeded my expectations, I retrieved the harpoon. Thanks to the rope attached to it, retrieval itself wasn't difficult.

'Still, I need practice.'

I wanted to hunt the golden frog right away. But as the saying went, more haste, less speed.

With such a damn long reload time, I'd only have one shot. I had to kill the frog with that single opportunity. If I failed, I'd have no choice but to turn tail and run. The moment its poison hit me, I was dead.

I needed to prepare thoroughly so I could drink all the water I wanted from now on. This definitely wasn't about being blinded by Allfather's twenty thousand gold.

'I'm getting a shower, if only to stop feeling so filthy.'

Two days without washing had left me feeling unbearably grimy. Thank goodness the weather was pleasantly warm. If it had been hot and muggy, it would have been the worst.

I kept practicing after that until daybreak. I even got a little more used to drawing the string. As time passed and the sun began to set, I headed back into the cave.

'With the money left over...'

I had roughly a hundred gold left after buying the crossbow. I intended to buy as much as I could with it.

The most urgent thing was snake or insect repellent. I'd been lucky so far, but a venomous snake or insect could bite me in my sleep. I also needed antidotes and assorted medicines. An antidote was especially essential because of the frog.

'The auction house has pretty much everything... but it's all expensive.'

The insane fees were holding me back. Cutting out distribution was an advantage, sure, but this was far too expensive.

Still, not buying anything wasn't an option. Choking back tears, I purchased a bottle of antidote. Since I could get scammed, I made sure to read the reviews carefully too.

'For repellent... I'll get this one.'

After buying various things, I had only twenty gold left. I didn't really feel it was a waste, especially considering these things would keep me alive longer.

I sprinkled repellent around the cave entrance and my sleeping spot. I didn't know if it would actually work, but I had to hope so. I'd even read the reviews thoroughly.

MUNCH, MUNCH

"Ugh. Tastes fucking awful."

I didn't forget to eat a few fasting pills for dinner. The intensely bitter taste of herbs spread through my mouth.

I'd have to live off these for a while, so all I could do was bear it. At least I had something to eat.

"Nnngh..."

After eating the fasting pills, I tried to get into the lotus position. It wasn't bedtime yet.

The moment I folded my legs, pain twisted through my joints, but I stubbornly endured it. Was this the position for doing that mana training method, internal energy cultivation method, or whatever it was? Heavenly Demon had offered to teach me, so all I needed to practice for now was the lotus position.

'Will I get used to it after a week or so?'

Flexibility didn't improve overnight. I'd have to keep working at it for days.

Still, I had nothing much to do until bedtime, so there was plenty of time. If I were home, I'd just be gaming nonstop.

'Good thing I at least have the forum.'

I browsed the forum while practicing the lotus position. In truth, the forum played an enormous role too.

Humans were animals that struggled to bear loneliness. There was a reason we were called social animals. Was it Robinson Crusoe? I'd read a novel where a person stranded on an island treated a ball like a human being.

That was how essential communication was. Right now, the forum was meeting that need for me.

'Time to get some sleep.'

Time had flown while I browsed. I unfolded my legs. Looking at the forum in the lotus position had made me forget the pain before I knew it.

Of course, the moment I became aware of it again, an incredible wave of agony hit me. Enduring the sensation of my joints tearing apart, I prepared for bed.

It was warm during the day, but the temperature dropped at night, so a fire was essential.

CRACKLE! CRACKLE!

I lit a fire with Heavenly Demon's ignition stone and wood from outside. It made the cave feel at least a little warmer.

On the first day, I'd been too exhausted to even notice the cold. Besides, I'd nearly died from a mad dog bite.

I added a few pieces of firewood and wrote a forum post.

End of Survival Day 1

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a single line scratched into the wall)

(Photo of a blazing campfire)

That wraps up day 1 of survival. Off to bed now.

└Heavenly Demon: You have endured much. Rest well.

└Sword Masta: Rest well.

└So today's day 1?

└Looks like it. If the posts stop...

└Oof... that'd feel awful.

└Starlight Lady: Let's both stay strong. I'll be waiting for day 2.

└Could die any second vs. terminally ill

└What an epic showdown. Damn.

└Thank you for supporting Wild Grylls all this time.

└Starlight Lady: You people are so mean.

Right. What had I expected from those morons?

Oh, just to be clear, I meant the anonymous users, not the registered ones. Most of the registered users were cheering me on, but the anonymous ones... Well, that needed no explanation.

'Better than nothing.'

I chuckled and closed the forum, then lay down on the hard stone floor.

If I caught the golden frog tomorrow, should I buy some bedding first? A pillow would be nice too. Perhaps because today had been so exhausting again, those thoughts were soon swallowed by sleep.

As my eyes slowly closed and the chirping of insects began to fade...

'I want to go home.'

With that desperate wish, my consciousness faded completely.