Chapter 12 - Golden Poison Frog (2)

Sleeping in the wild without taking any precautions was incredibly dangerous. Just yesterday, a mad dog had attacked me in my sleep and nearly killed me.

But staying up all night would drastically reduce my physical capabilities. If sleep was unavoidable, the best I could do was take every precaution possible. That was why I had spent so much money on snake and insect repellent.

I had roughly blocked the cave entrance with wood and rocks and kept my sword right beside me, just in case. Thanks to that, I made it through the night safely.

A Strong and Mighty Morning!

Wild Grylls

(Photo of the cave with a little light filtering in)

If you ask who I am, I am Wild Grylls!

└You're alive lol

└Last time you got bitten by a mad dog

└So this is day two?

└Wild Grylls Yep. But my mouth's gone crooked. I'm fucked

└Lmaoooo

└Lmaooooo

└That's what happens when you sleep on a cold floor lmao

└Hang in there lmaooo

└Wild Grylls My whole body's aching too. This is bad;;

Whether it was the hard stone floor or the lack of a pillow, my entire body ached. Worse, my mouth had gone crooked. The dawn chill must have done it—it had been cold enough for dew to form.

I hurriedly rekindled the fire, which had burned down to nothing but residual warmth. Right now, warmth was essential. Thank goodness I'd used the clothes Slutty Princess gave me as blankets. Otherwise, I could have been in real danger.

'Still, isn't this way too cold? Did it rain before dawn?'

It hadn't been this chilly the day the mad dog bit me. Once I'd warmed up a little, I went outside the cave and realized it had indeed rained in the early hours.

'Does a little rain really make it this cold?'

There was even fog, making it difficult to see. Shivering, I retreated into the cave. I was so cold that I put on one of the jerseys Slutty Princess had given me. It was incredibly warm.

I'd stay inside until the fog lifted, then go catch that golden frog.

'It's... six o'clock. I woke up too early.'

The sun set early in the forest, so naturally I had to go to bed early too. Fortunately, the forum kept me from losing all sense of time.

For now, I figured I'd have a quick breakfast of fasting pills and wait for the weather to warm up properly.

'I can practice the lotus position until then.'

My body ached because it was stiff. A few simple stretches should help loosen it up. After stretching a little, I grunted and struggled my way into the lotus position. Strangely, it was much easier than yesterday.

Yesterday, it had felt like my joints were being twisted apart. Now, it only hurt a little.

'Fine by me.'

That wasn't all. Despite the aches, my body was brimming with strength. Could it be the fasting pills Heavenly Demon had given me? They were supposedly made from a mixture of medicinal herbs, so that seemed likely.

GURRRRGLE!

"Ah."

On the other hand, I kept getting stomachaches. Specifically, the kind that meant I had to shit, so cleaning up afterward was a serious hassle. Thank goodness I had Passing Dwarf's toilet paper. Without it, I'd have been in trouble over and over again.

I made absolutely sure to clean up so the smell wouldn't spread. I'd have to build a toilet at some point.

'Time to get ready.'

I'd gathered most of what I needed to catch the golden frog: the all-important crossbow, Heavenly Demon's sword, and the golden shield All Hail the Sun had given me.

Could I carry all of that? Yes. I'd stripped fibers from trees and made something resembling rope.

'Pretty sturdy for a makeshift job.'

It didn't have to be perfect. I'd carry the shield on my back and tie the sword to my waist. The crossbow was too big for that, so I'd carry it in my hands. With that, my preparations were complete.

I even had antidote ready in case anything went wrong.

'I need to remember to block with the shield.'

Before leaving, I posted on the forum. This hunt could be my last, so I wanted to leave a record.

Off We Go!

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a crossbow in my hands)

Twenty thousand gold, here I come.

└Oh, he's finally going lmao

└What if we never hear from him again?

└Then he's dead lol

└Waaah, ded :(

└Starlight Lady Please give him some encouragement, everyone...

└Heavenly Demon Send me a trade request immediately if you are in danger

└Doubt he'll even have time to trade lmao

└One hit and he's a goner~

└But do you seriously think you'll get twenty thousand gold? lol

That last comment made a pretty sharp point. Would Allfather actually give me twenty thousand gold if I caught the golden frog?

Even if not, it wouldn't matter much. I had to catch it to get clean water anyway. Getting the money would be great, but if Allfather took the frog and ran, I could simply cut off contact.

'Or just treat it as getting rid of the thing.'

It was poisonous, so handling it would obviously be tricky, like preparing pufferfish. One wrong move could kill me. Rather than take that risk, I'd sooner roast bugs to eat.

And if I left the corpse in the wrong place, who knew what it might do to me or the water? Giving it to Allfather would get rid of it and benefit us both.

'Safety comes first right now.'

After skimming the comments, I cautiously stepped out of the cave. The dewy early hours had passed, and the sun was a fair way up. Other beasts might show up, so I had to be careful with every step.

'I should put up a fence if I get the chance.'

Simply blocking the cave entrance wouldn't keep me safe. If an owlbear smashed through it, I'd be finished. I'd have to fight it using the cave's narrow passage, but by the time I heard the entrance being smashed apart, it would be too late.

The best option was to build a fence out of nearby trees whenever I had time. It would take a while, but that was fine.

'Then I'll need an axe and a knife as well as the sword.'

Since I planned to settle in the cave, I was going to need all sorts of tools. Fortunately, buying them was easy with the forum—as long as I had money. If I caught the golden frog and got twenty thousand gold, I'd buy everything I needed.

'As for food... I should hunt for it myself whenever possible.'

With those insane fees, buying food was a luxury. Besides, the sellers weren't nearly trustworthy enough. It might be different if there were things like fried chicken or pizza, but this world didn't have those.

You could ask why I didn't just buy ingredients, but hardly anyone sold them. The auction house's brutal fees meant almost nobody listed any. Even when they did, the food's freshness was highly questionable.

'But I absolutely have to buy salt.'

No matter how expensive it was, salt was a must. People needed it to survive. Who was it who'd said that a tael of salt was worth a tael of gold? That was how important it was.

On Earth, food generally came seasoned, so it wasn't an issue. Not here. Judging roughly by the level of development, this world was somewhere between medieval and early modern, making salt extremely valuable.

SHHHHHH!

While thinking through everything I'd need to settle down, I reached the stream. Whether because of the rain before dawn or something else, the current seemed stronger than yesterday. Still, the water was so clear I could see the bottom distinctly.

'How do I lure that frog out?'

Now that I was here, I had no idea how to lure it out. I couldn't wait around forever. Should I dip my arm into the water like yesterday? That would defeat the purpose of bringing the crossbow.

I needed to kill it before it noticed me to avoid any trouble. Since it was poisonous, I had to be extra careful.

SPLASH!

As I pondered, I heard something burst out of the stream and turned toward the sound. Something golden and the size of a small dog was leaping high into the air, a salmon-sized fish in its mouth.

The frog, golden from head to toe, landed on a rock in the stream. A fish tail flapped outside its mouth; apparently, it had just finished hunting.

'Lucky me.'

Just as Allfather had said, it was active in the morning. Concealed in the bushes, I quietly aimed my crossbow.

I only had one chance. If I blew it, who knew when I'd get another? Staying tense and alert, I slowly took aim. It was farther away than the targets I'd practiced on yesterday. Still, this crossbow had been personally modified by a dwarf. If I aimed properly, I should hit it.

Besides, the frog was practically the size of a small dog. There was no risk of missing.

"Croak."

"..."

As soon as it finished its meal, I held my breath.

TWANG!

Then I pulled the trigger. The harpoon-shaped bolt shot forward, trailing its long tether. There had been a slight wobble, but the harpoon flew straight toward the frog.

THUNK! SPLASH!

The harpoon struck the frog's body, knocking it into the stream.

"Yes—! Huh? Whoa!"

My joy was short-lived. I barely caught the crossbow before it flew out of my hands. Whether the frog was still alive despite being impaled or it was just the current tossing it around, its flailing nearly made me lose my weapon.

And so began my fishing session. Instead of holding the crossbow, I grabbed the tether attached to the harpoon and pulled. Thank goodness I was wearing gloves. With bare hands, I'd have been badly cut.

"Graaaaagh!"

Gritting my teeth, I hauled on the line. Fortunately, it wasn't long before I pulled the frog out of the stream. Once I saw it was out of the water, I clasped my hands together. They didn't just ache—they burned.

'Ugh. At least there aren't any cuts.'

When I took my gloves off, I found deep marks but no wounds. I kept massaging my palms. Then I carefully pulled in the tether to examine the impaled frog.

Its long tongue and the fish it had just eaten stuck out of its mouth. It wasn't moving at all. Definitely dead.

"Heh heh heh."

So this little dog-sized thing was worth twenty thousand gold. I grinned greedily. That was a whopping two hundred million won. No matter how expensive the auction house fees were, twenty thousand gold would go a very long way.

Still, I needed to handle it carefully, just in case. Gloves or not, accidents could happen.

"Croak."

"Huh?"

What? Was it still alive? I tilted my head at the golden frog's croak. But checking again only confirmed that it was dead, tongue hanging out. In fact, the sound hadn't come from this one at all.

'If it wasn't this one...'

Dreading what I might find, I turned toward the stream.

"Croak, croak, croak."

"Croak. Croak."

"Croak."

There they were, plain as day: several golden frogs sitting on the rocks. While the one I'd caught was the size of a small dog, these were about as big as toads.

The problem was their numbers. There were quite a few of them. Was this an entire family?

'... First, some pictures.'

I snapped photos even as I slowly backed away. Not because I was a forum addict—I was curious how Allfather would react to seeing them.

Would I get twenty thousand gold apiece if I caught those too? Or would they be worth less?

More importantly, how was I supposed to get water now? I already felt gross from not being able to shower.

"Kraaack!"

"Kaaack!"

The golden frogs all tilted their heads back at once. That was the signal they were about to spit poison. I might dodge one, but with several firing together, I'd have nowhere to go. I hurriedly pulled the golden shield off my back.

"Ptoo!"

"Ptuh!"

"Pff!"

Golden poison shot toward me. I rapidly backed away, blocking it with my shield. Maybe because it was poison rather than acid, the shield didn't melt or anything. Or maybe it was simply that good.

I'd have to send All Hail the Sun a thank-you later. Right now, getting back to the cave came first.

'Fucking hell.'

I barely made it back to the cave and let out a sigh. One problem after another.

Still, I hadn't come away empty-handed. I'd caught the golden frog that seemed to be their leader. I'd have to take comfort in the twenty thousand gold. Solving the drinking-water problem would take more time.

Weak-Ass Little Shit lol

Wild Grylls

(Photo of the golden poison frog impaled on the harpoon)

Frog fucker down lol

└Whoa. Look at the size of it lmao

└Is that really a frog? lmao

└What's that in its mouth?

└Isn't it a fish?

└Wild Grylls Yep. Got it while it was eating a fish

└You killed it during dinner? lmaooo

└That's dirty lmao

└They say you shouldn't disturb even a dog when it's eating lol

└Wild Grylls But it's not a dog lol

└Heavenly Demon Are you hurt anywhere?

└Wild Grylls No, I'm not. The hunt itself was surprisingly easy.

└Heavenly Demon What a relief. I have prepared an antidote just in case, so tell me if you need it

└Wild Grylls I'm fine. I already have an antidote, and there's something I need to think about

└Allfather Oh! You caught it. May I send a trade request right away?

└Wild Grylls Before that, let me make one more post. I think you'll really like it

└Allfather I'll like it? Intriguing.

Oh, Allfather would love it. I'd taken those pictures in advance for exactly this reason. The forum had a photo-album feature that let you upload any picture you wanted, anytime, anywhere.

I uploaded a picture of the golden frog family gathered together in harmony.

Take a Look, Allfather

Wild Grylls

(Photo of the golden poison frogs gathered together)

Do these normally live in groups? There were a ton of them

└Allfather Ooooh...! Forgive the vulgarity, but I'm getting hard...!

└Lmaooooo

└Lmaoooo

└That's so fucking crude. Are you really a professor? lmaooo

As expected, there wasn't a single normal person on this forum.