Chapter 14 - Mandrake (1)

Plenty of people wrecked their bodies digging. Shoveling dirt took a terrifying amount of physical labor to begin with.

Without the proper technique, you could forget about moving the next day. Fortunately, I had served in the military. Thank goodness I knew a few tricks, or I would have been laid up all day.

'Don't they have pain-relief patches or something?'

Rubbing my thoroughly knotted muscles, I opened the forum to look for some. Unfortunately, there weren't any to be found. Apparently, that was a limitation of the times.

Instead, I posted to ask if there was any medicine that worked for muscle pain.

What's good for sore muscles?

Wild Grylls

My muscles seized up from digging yesterday

└Sword Masta A mana training method is good for muscle pain.

└Wild Grylls It's not some magical cure-all, you know...

└Heavenly Demon You seem unfamiliar with this, my honored friend. An internal energy cultivation method—or, to be precise, circulating your qi and regulating your breathing—is effective for muscle pain.

└Wild Grylls Aren't there any herbs instead?

└Sword Masta Generally, you should leave sore muscles alone. Treating them with medicine makes it harder to build muscle.

└Heavenly Demon That is new to me. Are you certain?

└Sword Masta Probably? My body gets stronger just by breathing.

└Heavenly Demon Much like mine, then.

└Wild Grylls What the...

└Listen to these shut-in forum addicts talking lol

└Seriously, who actually has a body like that?

└If they did, the government would've snapped them up

└Lmaoooo

I wished I had a body like that too. I sighed.

In the end, I was probably better off putting up with the aches. It wasn't as though I couldn't move at all, so I'd just have to endure it.

Working today would be difficult, though. If I pushed myself any further, my piss might be cola-colored tomorrow.

'Sore muscles or not, I want to wash first.'

Three days without washing had left me feeling disgustingly grimy. My face, in particular, was positively slick with grease.

But I couldn't go to the river, either. I wasn't about to trade my life for a shower.

Thank goodness this forest was cool and relatively dry. A jungle would have been the absolute worst.

'I'll buy some water for now. It's a waste of money, but I don't have a choice.'

I needed to maintain at least a basic level of cleanliness to avoid serious health problems. At the very least, I had to wash my hands.

I bought a large quantity of water from the forum's auction house. Spending the money hurt, but until I found another river, there was no helping it.

The water came with a bucket. Before washing, I inspected its quality.

'I bought it off the auction house, after all. How am I supposed to trust it?'

Fortunately, just as the reviews said, it was perfectly ordinary water. Drawn from a well, at that.

I washed my face, hands, and feet, then carefully cleaned the areas where sweat tended to collect. I used soap as well, choosing a nearly unscented kind in accordance with yesterday's advice.

Once I had finished my makeshift wash, I dried myself thoroughly with a towel bought from the auction house. It wasn't a shower, but even this left me feeling far fresher.

CRUNCH, CRUNCH.

"Ugh... Bitter. So bitter."

Breakfast came next. Chewing the foul, bitter fasting pills made me grimace involuntarily.

What was truly remarkable about these pills was that just a few left me with almost no hunger. Perhaps they really were made of healthy medicinal herbs, as Heavenly Demon had said, because I didn't feel hungry at all.

Of course, given the tiny quantity, I wasn't expecting to feel full. Still, I was reasonably satisfied.

'Meat is a luxury in my situation.'

I ought to be grateful that no carnivores had come calling at the cave yet.

After finishing breakfast, I peered into the sack of fasting pills. There were still plenty left, but even these wouldn't last long.

I could ask Heavenly Demon for more, but since they were made from precious herbs, that would only be imposing.

'I can't depend on the forum. I need to keep reminding myself of that.'

Normally, you couldn't access the forum from the Forest of Four Seasons. For some unknown reason, I could.

Put another way, that meant I had no idea when I might lose access. I needed to build up my abilities in preparation. It was a resolution I kept renewing.

'Today, let's head away from the river instead.'

Toward the area where I had dumped the mad dog carcass and encountered the owlbear.

Because of the owlbear, I hadn't dared set foot there for a while. But that ended now. I needed to take some risks, even if it only improved my chances of escape by 0.01 percent.

I intended to establish a safe zone with this place as my base, not spend the rest of my life living off the land. Choosing to live here was the worst possible option in the first place. However long it took, I still held out hope of escape.

'I'll take the sword and shield.'

I left the crossbow behind. It was too large, and less useful than a sword in an emergency. In particular, reloading after a shot took far too long. That alone could get me into trouble.

Besides, I needed to practice the basic swordsmanship Sword Masta had posted. I had been reading through the lessons carefully, a little at a time whenever I had a chance.

'Left leg forward when bracing... '

Before setting out, I checked my stance. A sword-and-shield warrior was an extremely well-balanced class.

The shield's reassuring sturdiness gave me a strong sense of security, so I didn't need to worry about losing my nerve, either. Shields were so overpowered, in fact, that there were stories of even ancient gladiators doing away with them for being too good.

'Let's go.'

A little nervous, I stepped out of the cave. The hole I had left unfinished yesterday sat at the entrance.

Once I got back from exploring, I'd have to dig some more. The very thought was horrifying. Not that I could skip it. Being alone was a sad business.

Off to explooore

Wild Grylls

(Photo looking out at the forest with sword and shield in hand)

Today I'm going the opposite way from the river

For reference, that's where the owlbear showed up

└Heavenly Demon Would that not be dangerous? You have plenty of fasting pills. I think you ought to learn the internal energy cultivation method before leaving.

└Sword Masta Heavenly Demon is right. Why not train inside first?

└Starlight Lady You're not really going to drop dead like a fly, are you...?

└All Hail the Sun It'd be a shame if you died after I went to the trouble of giving you a shield

└Passing Dwarf My crossbow is weeping. Weeping...

└Wild Grylls Can't you guys cheer me on...? I'll run the instant I see the owlbear...

└He's sulking lmaooo

└We can't help it, we're genuinely worried lol

└It just means we care that much, yeah

└The forum will be sad if you die

As the comments said, it felt good to have so many people care about me. Was this why people hung around forums?

Unlike a genuine attention whore, though, I desperately needed human interaction. How would I have lived with the loneliness without even the forum?

'Wait, no. The mad dogs would've killed me.'

With that thought, I headed toward the area where the owlbear had appeared.

The spot where I had dumped the mad dog carcass was surprisingly clean. A few bones, scraps of flesh, and part of its head remained, but it was far better than if the body had simply been left to rot.

Without the owlbear to dispose of it, the place would have reeked and crawled with maggots and bugs.

'Still, I'd better not get close.'

Using the mad dog carcass as a landmark, I turned right toward a dense stand of trees.

Open ground was a little dangerous. If I encountered the owlbear there, I likely wouldn't be able to escape. Of course, given its house-sized bulk, it could probably knock down the trees as it came after me, but I had to improve my chances of survival however I could.

'There are quite a few trees here.'

As I threaded through them, I didn't forget to leave marks with my sword. If anything about the place seemed strange, I intended to turn right around without a second glance.

Space here twisted every which way, much like my life, so I needed to be especially careful.

"Heave-ho. Huh?"

Emerging from the dense trees, I found a clearing spread before me. It was fairly large and thick with weeds.

'... Is a boss monster going to spawn?'

In games, this was the sort of place where bosses popped out. Just in case, I walked back toward the trees. The surroundings could change without warning, so caution was necessary.

After examining my surroundings, I concluded that a change was unlikely. The clearing was a little large, but I couldn't find anything unnatural about it.

Judging by the trees standing around it, this spot was apparently just unusual.

'Why? Why is the boundary so clear only here?'

It didn't look unnatural, but the boundary was distinct. Keeping my guard up, I inspected the weeds in the clearing.

On closer inspection, they weren't weeds but fruit-bearing plants. The fruit was bright red, like wild raspberries.

I didn't consider eating any, since they might be poisonous. Instead, I took a picture and posted it on the forum.

Anyone know what this is?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a plant bearing raspberry-like fruit)

Anyone know? There's a ton of it here.

└Aren't those wild raspberries?

└Looks more like a radish to me? Look at the leaves

└Radishes bear fruit?

└They do, but this looks a bit different

Most users decided it was a radish. Honestly, it did look like one.

Apparently, radishes bore fruit too. In that case, couldn't I pull one up?

└Allfather Oh? Don't pull that up carelessly. This is only a guess, but it may be a mandrake.

└Wild Grylls What's a mandrake?

└Allfather A plant that screams when uprooted. Hearing its scream will not kill you, but it will seriously damage your hearing.

└Doesn't the scream kill you?

└That's what I heard too

└Allfather That is a distortion of the facts. A mandrake's scream induces a temporary state of confusion, but does not cause death.

└Then where did the story about dying come from?

└Allfather Human greed. Mandrakes are extremely rare plants. People often kill one another trying to acquire them. In most such cases, being in a confused state is accepted as a mitigating circumstance.

└Holy shit, scary

└People are scarier...

└Fucking humans, as usual

└Why bring humans into this all of a sudden?

└It's always humans doing that stuff lol

└You fucking racist bastard

Anyway, that meant pulling one up would be a little noisy, but not life-threatening. Damage to my hearing would be a headache, though, so I needed to prepare.

└Oh, please. You think mandrakes grow like weeds? lol

└It's the Forest of Four Seasons. They might be real

└We can judge after he pulls one up

└If those are mandrakes, that's a serious jackpot

└Wild Grylls Are mandrakes expensive?

└No shit... They're one of the main ingredients in Elixir

└They're a bitch to harvest too. List one on the auction house and people will go nuts

└Allfather (A rough photo of a plant) (A rough photo of a human-shaped root)

└Allfather Comparing it with these should help.

As the debate went back and forth, Allfather uploaded pictures. I compared them to the plant.

It looked exactly like the one in the photo except for the fruit. The fruit in the picture was green, while what I was looking at was red.

'Has the fruit ripened?'

Just in case, I bought earplugs from the auction house as well. They resembled the ones on Earth.

Apparently, the military used them too, though I wouldn't know. As long as they sealed my ears, that was enough.

Since the roots were supposed to resemble a human, identifying the plant shouldn't be difficult.

└Wild Grylls Do I just pull it up? No chance of me hearing it.

└Allfather If you are ready, simply give it a good pull, as you would a radish.

└Wild Grylls OK

So I just had to pull hard. I got straight to it.

With the earplugs in, I should be fine even if it screamed. The description said they could block even cannon fire. That might have been a slight exaggeration, but the reviews seemed highly credible.

After letting out a nervous breath, I pulled with all my might.

"Heave... ho!"

The root slid free. I felt a brief snag midway, but it came out without much trouble. I immediately inspected its appearance.

The forum had told me mandrakes were human-shaped. Not fully human in form, just vaguely similar.

"Huh?"

But what I had pulled out was stranger than that. To be more precise, it looked like an actual person.

It wasn't merely human-shaped; it had exact human proportions. Not only were its arms and legs clearly defined, even its facial expression was distinct. It even had fine, beard-like hairs on its chin. Rather than resembling a human, it looked as though someone had copied a person's appearance wholesale.

It had its arms crossed, too, looking as imposing as could be.

'And why is it so red? Is this red ginseng instead of a mandrake?'

It looked like a mandrake, but the differences were far too great. I'd have to ask directly.

Its eyes snapped open.

I had only just opened the forum when the root's closed eyes suddenly sprang wide. Since its entire body was red, I didn't initially realize it had opened them. Only when it slowly uncrossed its arms did I catch on.

"Huh?"

"Haaaaah...!"

While I stood there bewildered, the root began drawing in a long breath. That was when I started to feel uneasy.

I hurried to let go, but just as I was about to, the situation Allfather had described unfolded.

["ROOOOOOOOAR!"]

A scream—no, a roar—pierced my earplugs. Without them, I wouldn't merely have suffered hearing damage. My eardrums would have burst.

Grimacing, I stumbled back. I dropped the mandrake to cover both ears.

Was it going to burrow back underground? I cautiously opened my tightly shut eyes.

"..."

"...?"

Why was it just standing there? It had roared briefly, then crossed its arms again.

Because it looked exactly like a person, it felt as though it was staring up at me with a brooding expression. Allfather's explanation had said it would scream until buried again, so what was going on?

RUMBLE!

As I puzzled over it, an earthquake suddenly struck. I nearly lost my balance.

First a roar, now an earthquake. That didn't seem like a good sign.

'Let's just take this and go.'

I hurriedly grabbed the mandrake, roughly clamping down over its mouth so it couldn't roar. The root was so thick that covering its mouth was difficult, but perfectly possible with both hands.

"Mmph! Mmph! Mmph!"

It thrashed, apparently not expecting me to gag it. Well, who told it to stand there with its arms crossed?

All I had to do was head back. I started moving without delay.

More roots popped out of the ground, one after another.

"Uh...?"

What the hell were those? I stopped short mid-step.

Red, human-shaped things were rising out of the earth on their own. The whole clearing churned as though corpses were climbing out of their graves.

The things emerging looked just like the mandrake that had roared a moment earlier. There were males and females of all ages, but their uniformly red bodies made it clear they were mandrakes.

'I'm screwed.'

I felt uneasy. No, worse than uneasy. I had a terrible feeling about this.

Still clutching the mandrake, I turned my back. I had a pretty good idea what they were about to do. Hadn't the golden frogs done something similar just yesterday?

The difference was that I could block the frogs' poison with my shield. Roars were another matter. My only option was to run far away. Worse still, both my hands were busy covering the mandrake's mouth.

"Haaaaah!"

"Huuuuuh!"

Just as I made it back among the dense trees—

["ROOOOOOOOAR!"]

An enormous shock wave slammed into my back.

* * *

What do you do if you get hit by a sonic attack?

Wild Grylls

A bunch of mandrakes screamed at once. Anyone know how to treat this?

└Heavenly Demon A sonic attack and screaming? Were you struck by a Lion's Roar?

└Wild Grylls Something like that, yeah.

└Heavenly Demon How badly are you hurt?

└Wild Grylls There's a constant ringing in my ears.

└Heavenly Demon It seems you took quite a hit. Have you lost your hearing, or are your ears bleeding?

└Wild Grylls Thankfully, neither. I was wearing earplugs.

└Heavenly Demon Then there should be no damage to your hearing. With sufficient rest, you will recover quickly. However, the ringing will trouble you for a while, so I shall find you some medicine.

└Wild Grylls Thank you. Have you ever been hit by a Lion's Roar yourself, Heavenly Demon?

└Heavenly Demon I have. I personally tore out the culprit's throat, ensuring they would never scream again.

└Wild Grylls Holy shit

└What the hell did you do to make a whole bunch of mandrakes scream?

└Wild Grylls I pulled one up, and when it roared, the rest came out on their own?

└??? Never heard of that happening before?

└Are you sure they're mandrakes?

└Wild Grylls Hang on, I'll take a pic and post it

Is this really a mandrake?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a battered red mandrake)

It really does look like a person, but isn't its body way too red?

└What's wrong with it? Its face looks beaten to shit.

└Wild Grylls It wouldn't shut up, so I grabbed its head and slammed it into the wall. Stuffed its mouth with dirt too.

└Lmaooooo

└Lmaooo

└That's just cruel lol

└Silence spell (physical) lmao

└Aren't mandrakes plants? Can they even feel pain?

└Yeah, they're closer to monsters, so they feel pain. First I've heard of beating the shit out of one to shut it up though lol

└But is that what a mandrake looks like?

└I know they're supposed to resemble people, but that's literally a person

└At that point, isn't it just a monster rather than a mandrake?

└Normally mandrakes look vaguely human and it's creepy, but that one's identical, which makes it even stranger

└Maybe it's a hundred-year-old mandrake or something?

└Lol, it's not wild ginseng

└I checked a book, and it says red mandrakes are a higher species of mandrake?

└What book?

└An encyclopedia of medicinal herbs. Says it's really rare.

└How rare?

└Says it's rarer because it's a higher species of mandrake

└Lmao was that book written by a quack?

└For real lol

└It's by a highly respected scholar, okay...

└Doesn't Elixir contain mandrake? Could you use that too?

└Yeah, that's why only the Mage Tower grows mandrakes

└If that's a higher species, just how good is it?

As everyone debated the red mandrake—

└Allfather Oh. Good heavens, Aragon. I believe that is a fully mature mandrake.

Fatheremon—no, Allfather—reacted with something close to horror.