Chapter 15 - Mandrake (2)

└Mature?

└As in a fully grown mandrake?

└Allfather Yes. A mandrake's body turns red when it finishes growing. I even wrote a paper on the subject.

└Then what are all the mandrakes we've known until now? Not fully grown?

└Allfather According to my past research, yes. Did it happen to pause before letting out its cry?

└Wild Grylls Yes. It had its arms crossed when I pulled it out. Then it roared.

└Allfather That makes it more certain. Just as human infants do nothing but cry, so do young mandrakes. Their bizarre appearance is presumably also due to their incomplete growth.

Allfather's explanation went roughly like this: for mandrakes to grow, they needed soil not merely rich in mana but overflowing with it, and no threats nearby.

But land rich in mana was rare, and they were very likely to lose the competition for it. Lower those requirements, however, and humans, monsters, or animals would chew them up, eat them, or tear them apart before they could grow.

In other words, mandrakes could only reach maturity under ideal conditions. Even raising them artificially was impossible in practice, since they needed a constant supply of enormous amounts of mana.

└Okay, I get that it's a grown-up mandrake, but is it better than a regular one?

└Allfather Yes. A single mature specimen can produce a top-grade Elixir. Considering that this normally requires ten mandrakes, that is remarkable.

└Struck medicinal gold. Holy shit.

└Grylls is gonna make another fortune. Damn.

└Any plans to sell it?

Well. At the question about selling, I looked at the mandrake. It had quieted down after I slammed it into a wall a few times for making such a racket.

It was more unconscious than quiet, but I wasn't sure I should sell it.

'Would it be easier to just think of it as hundred-year-old wild ginseng?'

I researched mandrakes a little more to get a general idea of what they were. From what I found, they were a main ingredient in Elixir and countless other potions.

Everything from their roots to their leaves and stems could be used medicinally, so nothing went to waste. A plant practically born to become potion ingredients. Alchemy was essential to use it efficiently, though.

'Should I give it to Sword Masta?'

It seemed like a good way to repay that Elixir. Once I harvested a few more, I could give some to Heavenly Demon and the other registered users too.

It would be especially good for Heavenly Demon, who was getting on in years. Hadn't I already given that precious herb because of such a serious illness?

All Hail the Sun had given me a shield for free, so I planned to give one for free in return.

First, though, I should repay Sword Masta. I could always harvest more mandrakes.

└Wild Grylls Not selling. I'm giving it to Sword Masta to repay the Elixir from before.

└Sword Masta I don't need it, though?

└Wild Grylls Think of it as a health supplement.

└Sword Masta I'm healthy.

└Wild Grylls Getting a little healthier couldn't hurt, could it?

└Sword Masta I don't want to be any healthier than this...

└Wild Grylls But... it's good for your health. Why...?

└Someone who doesn't want to be healthy lol

└Why not lmao

└Lmao just doesn't wanna get healthier, okay? lol

└Seriously don't get it lmaooo

└Allfather Even simply boiling a mature mandrake into a decoction will greatly increase your mana.

└Sword Masta Now I want it even less.

└Wild Grylls But WHY...?

I couldn't understand it. Were there really people who didn't want to be healthy?

Sword Masta was fairly mature, if not quite on Heavenly Demon's level. Despite some odd tendencies befitting a forum user, Sword Masta was pretty respectable.

'Can't force it on someone who's refusing that hard.'

That left Heavenly Demon. The offer of an antidote and an excellent tinnitus remedy had come at just the right time; we could exchange them.

But just as I was about to send a trade request, a comment caught my eye.

└Starlight Lady Excuse me, but could you give that mandrake to me? I'll compensate you generously.

Starlight Lady. The person who posted prayers for a full recovery every single day.

Come to think of it, someone else needed this most. I replied to her comment.

└Wild Grylls You gave me a compass before, so you don't need to pay me. But can mandrakes treat your illness?

└Starlight Lady It should improve my condition somewhat. Mandrakes contain yang energy.

I remembered. When I found the New Moon Spirit Grass, Starlight Lady had said she needed yang energy.

Considering how long those recovery prayers had been going on, she probably had a pretty serious illness. Heavenly Demon apparently had a similar thought just then.

└Heavenly Demon An illness requiring yang energy? Is it Nine Yin Blocked Meridians?

└Starlight Lady That's what the physician says. Are you familiar with it too, Heavenly Demon?

└Heavenly Demon Indeed I am. How could I not know the most famous of the blocked-meridian disorders?

└Starlight Lady Then you must know the symptoms well, too.

└Heavenly Demon How unfortunate. Stay strong.

└Wild Grylls Is it serious?

└Heavenly Demon It trades one's lifespan for talent that can reach the heavens. Even the longest-lived sufferers do not live past twenty.

└Starlight Lady You do know it well. Lately my body can't hold out, so I can't even get out of bed. I suppose I'm approaching the dangerous stage.

└Wild Grylls ...

I felt like I ought to give it to her right now. This was much more serious than I'd thought.

Whether it was because finding a cure was difficult or not, she kept posting those recovery prayers. Apparently a complete cure required a medicinal herb on par with New Moon Spirit Grass. Finding that would be like plucking a star from the sky.

└Wild Grylls I didn't realize it was that serious. I'm sorry.

└Starlight Lady It's fine. You're living on borrowed time too, Grylls.

└Wild Grylls Excuse me?

└Starlight Lady I'm joking.

└Doesn't sound like a joke lol

└Asking him to die with her? lol

└Dragging him down with her lmao

└Who'll go first? Kinda curious, actually.

└Youuu are seriously awful...

I was a little taken aback, but once I realized it was a joke, I smiled wryly. She'd probably made it to break the awkward mood. A bit of self-deprecating humor.

Situations like this always reminded me that health came first. It was a treasure you couldn't trade for anything.

└Wild Grylls Anyway, would a mature mandrake help with Nine Yin Blocked Meridians?

└Allfather I cannot say for an ordinary mandrake, but a mature one should have an effect.

└Starlight Lady Even an effect would be something. Mandrakes themselves are rare enough as it is.

└Heavenly Demon It seems it is not potent enough to cure Nine Yin Blocked Meridians.

└Is there no cure for that?

└There is. Usually three options. Take medicine, have a physician open up every blocked meridian, or have a man put his energy directly into her.

└Okay, but what's that last one? Is it what I think it is?

└Yep. But the guy has to be strong enough, too.

└Ooh. I'm strong. Think I qualify?

└How strong?

└Beat everyone in my village at arm wrestling lol

└Lmaoooo

└Lmaooo

This crazy bastard was sexually harassing a sick person. My expression went flat.

With the forum guaranteeing anonymity, that kind of dirty talk was fairly common. Maybe if the mood had been right, but doing it in an already grim conversation was a little unpleasant.

└Starlight Lady Come over if you're confident. But be warned, if you don't meet the requirements, I'll cut it off.

└Cut it off? Your johnson?

└Starlight Lady What else did you think I meant? If you'd rather not lose that, shall I cut off your head instead?

└Holy shiiit

└I'm sorry. I'll stop running my mouth.

But Starlight Lady fired right back, perhaps accustomed to this sort of thing.

The third option was out for obvious reasons, and the second was essentially surgery. An incredibly difficult operation, at that. Even Earth's advanced, scientific medicine would struggle with it, never mind medicine here.

That effectively left only the first option. But that was extremely difficult too.

└Heavenly Demon Curing Nine Yin Blocked Meridians requires consuming spiritual treasures such as a Solar Fire Carp, a Ten-Thousand-Year Fire Carp, or Solar Flame Grass.

└Wild Grylls I've never heard of any of those. Are they rare?

└Heavenly Demon Comparable to the New Moon Spirit Grass you gave me, my honored friend.

└Wild Grylls So incredibly rare, then.

└Heavenly Demon I was most fortunate. That is why meeting you was my fortuitous encounter, and why you are my benefactor.

└Wild Grylls I got lucky too, though. Anyway, is a full cure difficult even with a mature mandrake?

└Allfather It should not be entirely impossible. The issue is quantity.

└Wild Grylls Quantity?

└Allfather Yes. Mature mandrakes are not quite spiritual treasures, but they belong to the tier just below them. Thus, combining six or seven mature mandrakes into a single Elixir should allow her to recover.

Six or seven sounded doable. I pictured the place where the mature mandrakes lived.

I'd been too busy running for my life to get an exact count, but there had been well over ten gathered there at the very least.

No, forget ten. At least several dozen. Either way, a ton.

'And beating them up after pulling them out shuts them up.'

I turned to look at the mature mandrake. It was still dangling limply, unconscious. I'd heard that even if it looked dead, planting it in soil would perk it right back up.

Of course, I wasn't planning to plant it; I was giving it away. Pulling it out again would be a headache.

I should probably tell her. While I was at it, I could get something I wanted from Starlight Lady too.

└Starlight Lady To think it takes that many... Finding them all would be difficult, wouldn't it?

└Allfather I have only seen three in my entire life. Even if you located one, someone would likely have already consumed it.

└Starlight Lady That's a shame. Oh. Grylls hasn't even said he'd give me this one yet. I suppose I got greedy.

└Wild Grylls There's a fuckton here, though?

Mature mandrakes were all over the place here. That was what I'd meant by the comment.

No reply came for a long while. I wondered if she'd closed the forum to do something else.

└Starlight Lady Whuh?

Apparently not. She'd been too flustered to reply.

└Starlight Lady You're lying, right? If you're trying to tease me, it won't work.

└Wild Grylls I'm serious. I told you the mandrakes all screamed together earlier.

└Starlight Lady They were all mature?

└Wild Grylls Every one of them was red.

└Starlight Lady I won't believe you until you show me a picture.

└Wild Grylls One second.

A picture was easy enough. I gathered my gear and headed for the mandrake patch. It was close, but I remembered to stay cautious in case an animal jumped out.

"Huh?"

When I reached the patch, its changed appearance puzzled me.

It hadn't moved. Some of the mature mandrakes were aboveground without anyone having pulled them out.

They were looking around as though standing guard. Apparently reaching maturity had given them intelligence too.

'This complicates things.'

The moment I was spotted, the sentries would roar, and I'd get hit by another Lion's Roar like before. I had no choice but to wait until they went back underground. Still, this was enough.

Mature mandrakes standing guard

(Video of mature mandrakes standing guard)

I wasn't lying. Starlight Lady, please watch the video and get back to me.

└Why is this real lmao

└Seriously, why is it real lmao

└Do mandrakes normally do that?

└Of course not lmao

└Allfather Oh! Mature mandrakes standing guard...! This deserves a paper! Are all those plants mandrakes?

└Wild Grylls Yes. I think they're keeping watch because I took one of their friends earlier.

└Allfather If you don't mind, could you observe them regularly?

└Wild Grylls Sorry. I don't have that much time to spare.

└Allfather What a shame.

While I was talking to the academically passionate Allfather, Starlight Lady left a comment.

└Starlight Lady Those are all... mature mandrakes, right?

└Wild Grylls Yes.

└Starlight Lady It looks like there are dozens of them still buried alone.

└Wild Grylls Yes.

└Starlight Lady What exactly are you?

I pondered her comment. If I said I was a Park of the Miryang clan, would she tell me to stop joking around?

But I didn't have a proper answer. I had absolutely no idea why I'd come here myself.

As I mulled that over, a flood of other comments appeared.

└I know! A guy with the life expectancy of a fly!

└I know! A Forest of Four Seasons castaway!

└I know! A beggar!

└I know! A motherless bastard!

└Don't Abandon the Hero I know! A weirdo!

└Wild Grylls Fuck, forget the others. What's the admin doing?

└Don't Abandon the Hero I was bored! Also, the person making family insults gets a one-hour ban!

└But Grylls really doesn't have a mom. What's the problem?

└Don't Abandon the Hero The phrasing sounds wrong! Besides, telling someone without parents that they have no parents can really hurt them!

└Wild Grylls You're worse.

└Don't Abandon the Hero Aah! I'm sorry!

└Lmaooooooo

└Lmaoooooo

└Lmaooooo

As savage as ever. I chuckled, then asked Starlight Lady again.

└Wild Grylls So, do you want them? I can give you the first one I harvested for free, but not the rest.

└Starlight Lady What do you want? I'll give you anything I can obtain. Do you need money?

└Wild Grylls No. I'm not in urgent need of money.

The money Allfather had given me was enough. I'd only ask for food in an emergency.

There was just one thing I needed now. It might be the most important thing after food.

└Wild Grylls Your family's rich, right, Starlight Lady?

└Starlight Lady You could say that.

└Wild Grylls Then can you turn mandrakes into Elixir as soon as I send them?

└Starlight Lady It will take some time, but yes. I'm quite well versed in alchemy.

└Wild Grylls Then I have one favor to ask.

Perfect. Starlight Lady could provide what I needed most. Her knowledge of alchemy was the icing on the cake.

└Wild Grylls Once you're cured, could you supply me with Elixir? I never know when I'll get hurt. I'd feel bad just taking it, so I'll give you mandrakes from time to time too.

└Starlight Lady I'll give you Elixir with every mandrake trade. If I can be cured, I could give you my position, my wealth, even my body.

└Wild Grylls Wanna come here, then? lol

└Starlight Lady Oh. That's a bit much, haha...

└Wild Grylls You meanie.

└Nobody wants the Forest of Four Seasons, not even over their dead body lmao

└Getting cured just to go kill yourself lol

└Must really be rich if she's offering Elixir.

└Definitely nobility, if it's Elixir and not just potions.

That settled it. All that remained was to give her the mandrakes.

Which meant I had to catch them first. I looked at the mandrakes on guard.

'They're standing guard, sure, but security isn't exactly tight.'

Monster or not, a plant was still a plant. Besides, there were fewer sentries than before. Being plants, they'd have to go back into the soil eventually. I waited until only the last one remained.

The mandrakes slipped swiftly underground one after another. As the last remaining one prepared to follow, I seized my chance and sprinted over. Spotting me, the mandrake startled and opened its mouth wide.

I had to grab it before it roared. But it was too far away.

I'd prepared something for just this possibility: a hefty rock I'd just picked up.

"Uu...!"

WHOOSH!

I hurled the rock just before it could scream. Having played baseball in the past, my throw flew true.

THWACK!

"Gwek!"

The mandrake let out a bizarre cry as the rock struck its head. All that remained was to catch it.

Soon enough, I had it in both hands. And then...

THUD! THWACK! THUD!

Holding the stem attached to its root, I punched it so it couldn't even scream.

I also forcibly crammed dirt into its mouth. With its cheeks stuffed full, it wouldn't be able to make a sound.

Thanks to those efforts, the mandrake soon went limp. It had passed out.

'Is this really how you're supposed to catch them?'

Well, whatever works. A perfectly executed hack wasn't much different from the proper method anyway.

'I'll give some to Starlight Lady, and one each to the others.'

That should repay their kindness to some extent.