Chapter 18 - Health (3)

As I said before, catching mandrakes was simple. Pull one out, and if it looked ready to scream, beat it like a dog being slaughtered for meat. If it still stubbornly tried to scream? Stuff its mouth with dirt, and it couldn't do a thing.

That was how I harvested Starlight Lady's share first, since hers was the most urgent, then gradually collected some for the other registered users. After Starlight Lady, the next person I gave one to was Heavenly Demon—the person who had helped me the most.

I think eating this should help you get your energy back.

Are you feeling all right?

Heavenly Demon

I was only in danger back then. I am perfectly well now.

It is your health that concerns me.

I'm fine, except for getting stomachaches a few times a day. I'm not sure if it's because of the fasting pills.

Heavenly Demon

That is proof that impurities are leaving your body.

You have not undergone a complete transformation, so they are being expelled that way.

That's a good thing, right?

Heavenly Demon

Of course it is. I can give you more if you wish.

You have just given me something good for my health, after all.

I'm all right.

Just the antidote and the tinnitus medicine we talked about before will be enough.

Heavenly Demon

I feel guilty, as though all I ever do is receive.

That's my line.

I thought this all the time, but Heavenly Demon really was a decent person. Everyone teased them for being an old fogey, but they always repaid kindness. This was what being a proper adult meant. I had no idea why someone like that was on the forum.

Actually, no. Judging by their usual posts, they were a first-rate forum addict. Maybe they were bored with their leisurely life and browsed the forum to pass the time.

'So this is the antidote, and this is the one for tinnitus.'

Once the trade with Heavenly Demon was over, I checked the items I'd received. The writing looked like Chinese characters, which confused me for a moment, but Heavenly Demon explained what was what. The forum translated automatically, but only within the forum. Each country had its own language.

Come to think of it, who on earth had founded the forum and even added automatic translation? This world was strange in all sorts of ways, but that wasn't something I needed to worry about right now.

Sword Masta

No, seriously. I told you I don't want to get healthier!

Think of it as repayment for the Elixir you gave me.

Or you could give it to someone you know who's sick. You can sell it, too.

Sword Masta

Hmm... All right.

It's hard to refuse when you put it that way.

Thank you.

I practically forced the trade on Sword Masta. Why turn down a chance to get even healthier?

'Won't they regret that later?'

The world was full of people who'd neglected their health and ended up dead. Health wasn't something you could necessarily preserve just because you wanted to. You had to take care of yourself consistently, starting now, to avoid suffering later.

All Hail the Sun

This is that rare medicinal herb?

Yes. I heard it's expensive.

You gave me that shield, so this is a gift.

All Hail the Sun

Does it happen to boost sexual stamina or anything?

Uh... They said it's an ingredient in Elixir, so probably?

So he was a man. Well, I could have more or less guessed from his username.

All Hail the Sun

Thanks. I'll give you something nice later.

You already gave me a shield.

I'll give you more if I find anything good for your health.

All Hail the Sun

You're too damn nice.

Then I'll give you one thing you want for every mandrake you give me. Sound good?

Sounds good.

There were more than enough mandrakes. The patch was fairly large, with enough to keep supplying the registered users. But I wasn't going to harvest them indiscriminately. I'd be in trouble if they ran out when I really needed them. It was easiest to think of them as an emergency fund.

After finishing the trade with All Hail the Sun, I looked for Slutty Princess. She'd helped me too, so I planned to give her one as a present.

Slutty Princess.

I'd like to give you one of these.

Slutty Princess

Thank yooou.

I'll give you another jersey, too.

Thank you.

Whose is it this time?

Slutty Princess

It's Chae U's legendary goalkeeper, Gioni Sader.

Naturally, I had no idea who that was. Still, she'd given me clothes, so I should thank her. When I'd first received the jerseys, I'd wondered whether they'd be useful, but they were proving surprisingly helpful. The fabric was extremely stretchy, so they didn't feel restrictive at all.

Thank you.

Was it the Champs? I hope they win it.

Slutty Princess

Not the Champs, the Challs!

But thank yooou.

The Challs is the knockout tournament with all the clubs in Mephisto, right?

Slutty Princess

Yep. It's the greatest competition in the world.

It's run in cooperation with other countries, not just Mephisto.

I hadn't supported any particular team, but I liked soccer myself. When bottom-ranked South Korea beat the world's strongest team, Germany, it had felt like a miracle. And when I saw Argentina win the World Cup, I'd thought, They actually pulled it off?

Soccer was a sport where even the world's best players and teams could fall victim to miracles. Its sheer unpredictability was incredible, making it the most popular sport in the world. Especially here, where there was hardly any entertainment besides the forum, it was only natural for sports to be popular.

'Don't they have something like the World Cup?'

The Challengers Cup that Slutty Princess had mentioned—the Challs for short—was open not only to clubs from Mephisto, but to clubs from other countries as well. Apparently there were domestic competitions and others that admitted foreign clubs. Things might have been different in the past, but now each team had a mix of races, turning it into a battle of club pride. There didn't seem to be a World Cup, though, where teams followed a player's origins rather than their club.

'Not my concern.'

I had more than enough problems of my own. Interested as I was in soccer, I didn't have the time to worry about it. Still, curiosity was curiosity, so I intended to look into it. From what little I'd heard, humans were becoming more dominant by the day, even threatening the standing of Mephisto, the sport's birthplace.

'I'll put up a post and ask.'

The forum really came in handy at times like this. I would have liked to ask Slutty Princess more, but unfortunately we were running out of time. Apparently only the admin could adjust the private chat time limit. Maybe I should suggest a change.

Thank you. Go, Chae U!

Slutty Princess

Thank yooou! I hope you survive tomorrow, too!

My conversation with Slutty Princess ended with a cheer for Chae U. Only two registered users remained: Allfather and Passing Dwarf.

Hello, Allfather. I'd like to give you a mature mandrake.

Allfather

Oh! Thank you very much. How much should I pay you?

You gave me valuable information, so there's no need to pay.

By the way, is there any progress on the golden frog antidote?

Allfather

May I be honest with you?

Allfather's words made me pause. Could he be honest with me? That didn't sound promising.

Were the results bad?

Allfather

Yes. And this is particularly important for you, Mr. Grylls.

Hmm... Please explain.

Allfather

The golden poison frog's poison is stronger than I anticipated.

It nearly melted my laboratory.

Holy crap. Are you all right?

As we knew, the golden frog's poison was incredibly potent. The fact that it could melt a tree without even being acidic said it all. I'd warned Allfather, too, but if it had nearly melted his lab, he must have been in a dangerous situation.

Allfather

Yes. Fortunately, there was no accident.

More importantly, however, the poison was so potent that even the antidote failed to neutralize it.

Then...?

Did that mean I'd have to buy water? As I was thinking that, Allfather offered a suggestion.

Allfather

But it wasn't a complete waste.

Studying the poison sac led me to another discovery.

That sounds promising.

Allfather

Yes. If all goes well, you may be able to develop poison resistance, Mr. Grylls.

Allfather's explanation went roughly like this: while studying the golden frog's poison sac, he'd discovered a special substance in it. Using that substance could allow my body to develop resistance.

Isn't that even better?

Allfather

But you would need to take it for at least two weeks.

Only then would you develop resistance even to the golden poison frog's poison.

That sounds like you're saying I need to catch more frogs.

Allfather

You really are quick on the uptake.

Ha. This guy, honestly. I let out a disbelieving chuckle at Allfather's shamelessness. Still, it was well worth a try. Resistance to poison itself would be especially useful to me.

'Bugs are a bigger threat than the frogs right now.'

At least I could block the golden frog's poison with my shield or dodge it. But venomous snakes, poisonous insects, and toxic plants could turn up in unexpected places. I was particularly prone to bad rashes from plants, so Allfather's offer was appealing.

That doesn't sound bad.

But I'd like you to start by making some from the one I already gave you.

Allfather

I do have some shame.

I'll prepare an appropriate quantity and send it within two days.

Thank you.

The conversation with Allfather was over, but I was a little worried. He'd said this wasn't an antidote—it worked by gradually getting the body accustomed to poison. That meant the effects wouldn't be immediate. It would be all too easy to get caught out.

'I'll have to get by with Heavenly Demon's antidote for now.'

I didn't think Allfather would scam me. If that had been his intention, he'd have done it when I'd handed over the golden frog. With that much money, he surely had the skills to back it up.

'That just leaves Passing Dwarf.'

Lastly, I gave Passing Dwarf a mandrake. And before long, the bastard had steeped it in liquor. I couldn't believe it when I saw that. I could at least have understood selling it for money.

└Passing Dwarf I've got plenty of money lol

└Wild Grylls Sure. Your shit doesn't stink.

└Passing Dwarf Thanks for the compliment

└Wild Grylls Asshole lmao

└Lmaoooo

└Lmaooooo

└I'm speechless lmao

Why did I even bother? One person was so sick they could die any day, while another simply turned the stuff into booze. It reminded me just how unfair the world was. Though the fact that I'd ended up in the Forest of Four Seasons was unfair enough already.

Anyway, now that I'd given presents to the registered users I owed, I moved on to my next task.

THUNK! THUNK!

"Ugh. This is killing me."

Digging a trap at the cave entrance. I had to keep at it, because I'd regret putting it off day after day. So what if my whole body ached the next morning? That was better than dying.

'This always makes me want a shower.'

For now, I'd have to put up with it. Even if the golden frog threat disappeared, showering every day would be difficult. Cleaning up afterward wasn't the problem; clothes were. To minimize contact with bugs and plants, clothing was a necessity, not an option. But wearing the same clothes every day would create hygiene problems. That meant I'd have to do laundry periodically, which naturally required large amounts of water.

'I'll need a lot of soap.'

Hygiene was especially important somewhere like this. Getting sick could be dangerous, and illnesses didn't simply disappear the moment you took medicine.

Perhaps that was why I stopped working when it grew dark and bought some water. I'd worked up a sweat, so I should at least wash the essential areas for hygiene's sake. Once I'd experienced that fresh, clean feeling, it was hard to forget. Spending the money hurt, but as the price of staying alive, it was cheap.

'Is today day two?'

After a quick wash, I logged onto the forum. I'd wrapped up the day's work, so I wanted to leave a record. I'd probably end up posting every day, like Starlight Lady.

Survival Day 2

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a campfire)

End of Survival Day 2! See you tomorrow.

└Heavenly Demon Rest well.

└Sword Masta Good work today. I gave the mandrake to my mom.

└Slutty Princess Thanks for the present. Stay healthyyy.

└All Hail the Sun Post first thing tomorrow. I'll be worried.

└Don't Abandon the Hero Good work today!

Maybe it was because I'd gotten fairly close to the registered users, but most of the replies were kind words about how hard I'd worked. Even the admin was in there. Apparently I was getting more attention than I'd thought. I didn't pay much mind to the anonymous users. Most of them were too busy venting their own urges.

└Passing Dwarf Hey. That liquor I made with your gift has me wide awake lmao

└Wild Grylls Just drop dead

└Passing Dwarf Buuurp buuurp lmaooo

└Fuck, I can smell the booze through the post lmaooo

└Lmaoooooooo

└Lmaoooooo

There was one useless bastard among them, but he did help me, so I let it slide. That was just how he talked. He'd even sent me liquor before because he felt sorry.

'Come to think of it, what happened to Starlight Lady?'

The complete lack of news worried me. I hoped she'd at least put up a post tomorrow.

I slowly lay down on the ground. It felt a little soft rather than hard, thanks to the mat and pillow I'd bought at the auction house. Apparently they were stuffed with straw.

'It is... pretty soft.'

Whether it was the softness or the exhaustion from a hard day's work, I grew sleepier and sleepier. Unable to fight it any longer, I slowly closed my eyes, hoping tomorrow would bring nothing but good things.

* * *

Around the time Grylls finished his day and drifted off to sleep, the forum remained as active as ever, regardless of the hour.

Usually it overflowed with all manner of pointless posts, but lately things had changed. The topic was Wild Grylls, who claimed to have ended up in the Forest of Four Seasons. Once his location had been confirmed, he'd begun drawing enormous attention.

The mature mandrake incident had seemed likely to pass as just another minor happening.

Forum bro is fucked right now;;

My friend's a knight, and his superior told him to trade with Grylls and bring back a mature mandrake;;

└For real?

└Yeah, seriously. He's high-ranking

└That seems out of nowhere

└Apparently they'd been keeping an eye on things without saying anything? The dwarf's post seems to have convinced them.

└Lmao at this rate the emperor's going to demand one too

└I'm more curious about the Mage Tower's reaction

└Why the Mage Tower?

└They've got a monopoly on mandrakes. They're probably watching most closely of all

└Come on. Would this little thing really cause a fuss?

└Don't you know about the incident with the admin before the last one?

└What incident?

└Someone from another territory made a secret deal with Dwat territory and sent goods tariff-free. Nearly bankrupted that territory.

└Holy shiiiit

└That's scary

└But doesn't Grylls lack the supply?

└By that logic, the Mage Tower doesn't have enough supply either. They don't grow mandrakes; they just manage them.

└So they get theirs from outside too?

└Yeah. I heard they throw their weight around like crazy with all that authority and their monopoly

└Grylls must be a bit of a nuisance from the Mage Tower's perspective.

Things were beginning to take a strange turn.