Chapter 21 - Owlbear (2)
12 min read ·
All animals are cute when they’re babies. People even say that cuteness helps them survive by winning their enemies’ sympathy. Even the fiercest animals tend to be lethally adorable as babies.
“Kyoo?”
Like the baby owlbear right in front of me.
All it did was tilt its head, and my heart took a direct hit.
Here was the perfect description of this baby owlbear: an obviously fluffy ball of fur staring at me with wide, round eyes. The adult’s face had looked incredibly vicious, but this baby looked so gentle.
But this was the wilderness. Even an owlbear would have a hard time surviving out here as a baby.
So what should I do now?
“Psst, psst, psst. Come here.”
“Kyooo.”
What else? Pet it.
When I wiggled my fingers, the owlbear tilted its head, then slowly approached. It pressed its nose into my hand and began sniffing, following its animal instincts.
While it sniffed, I slowly moved my other hand and stroked its head, again and again.
“Kyooong?”
Head scratches from a hand—something no four-legged animal could ever give it.
The baby owlbear stared at me, its eyes widening at this entirely new sensation.
Those eyes weren’t merely round; they were enormous circles. And then there were those owl-like tufts sticking up from its head.
How could any living creature be this cute? It was only the size of a medium-sized dog, too, so it wasn’t much of a threat.
“Purrr. Purrr.”
Apparently enjoying my touch, it closed its eyes and made an odd sound. I kept enthusiastically petting its head and quietly opened the forum.
Found a baby owlbear
Wild Grylls
(Photo of a baby owlbear)
(Photo of a baby owlbear)
(Video of petting a baby owlbear)
(Video of a baby owlbear smiling)
Came out after killing its mom and found this little thing. Seriously cute.
└ So damn cute lmao
└ Look how fluffy that fur is
└ Definitely different from the adult...
└ You killed that little thing’s mom? You’re a real bastard.
└ An orphan maker. Holy shit.
└ Orphan maker lmaoooo
└ Lmaoooo
└ Lmaoooo
└ Grylls. You’re an orphan yourself. Did you really have to make another?
└ Wild Grylls Its mom tried to kill me. I need to live too, you know...
└ Fair, survival does come first lol
└ Heavenly Demon Adorable indeed. Such a ball of fur. I would like to hold it.
└ Slutty Princess I know, right? Just like me.
└ Heavenly Demon ?
└ ?
└ ?
└ Slutty Princess What the fuck? Fight me if you’ve got a problem with that, ’kay?
└ Heavenly Demon Insolent wretch. I would like to squeeze you until you burst.
└ Don’t Abandon the Hero Three-hour ban!
└ Wild Grylls ??? Wait. Why?
└ Don’t Abandon the Hero Cute things require at least ten photos and three videos!
└ Wild Grylls That’s a rule? Seriously?
└ Don’t Abandon the Hero I just made it!
└ Wild Grylls Excuse me?
└ The power of an admin. Scary stuff.
└ Tyranny!
└ Lmaooo
└ Lmaoo
└ Can I post my face, then? I’m cute lol
└ Don’t Abandon the Hero Disgusting posts get you banned!
└ Lmaoooo
└ Lmaooo
└ So decisive lmao
Most people loved the baby owlbear. And really, it was only natural for hearts to melt at the sight of this fluffball.
But the wild was always cruel. One comment caught my eye.
└ Who cares if it’s cute? He has to kill it anyway.
└ Why would you kill something that cute?
└ Boo! Asshole!
└ For fuck’s sake. Is he gonna raise it, then? The moment it gets hungry, Grylls will be first on the menu.
└ Oh, I heard that story. A noble who kept an owlbear went on a short vacation and got eaten when he came back.
└ Holy shit. Can you even keep one?
└ They’re loyal as hell as long as you feed them properly. Stop feeding them and you become the food lol
└ Lmaoo
└ Besides, he’s in the wild. How’s he gonna raise it there?
└ Does he really have to kill it? It’s so cute.
└ It’s not that big, either. Looks like it might be a newborn.
I looked at the owlbear after reading those comments. It was rubbing its face against my hand, apparently loving the petting.
Just looking at it melted my gloomy mood away, but a wild animal was still a wild animal. Apparently, owlbears in particular had such enormous appetites that eating their owners was a frequent occurrence.
“Kyoooong. Kyoong.”
This adorable little thing? I looked at it regretfully.
Coldly speaking, killing it myself would prevent trouble later. People could suggest raising it, but I had enough trouble taking care of myself. If even rich nobles struggled to keep one, what chance did I have?
‘Getting food from the auction house is difficult, too.’
If it were that simple, I’d have bought some for myself already.
It was a shame, but there was nothing I could do. Still, killing it didn’t sit right with me. Better to send it back into the wild. That was what I decided.
└ Wild Grylls I’ll send it back into the wild for now. I can barely feed myself.
└ Don’t you have any sense of responsibility?
└ Wild Grylls Its mom tried to fucking kill me. What responsibility?
└ Fair point.
└ That was a quick surrender lmao
└ Just buy meat at the auction house. Aren’t you loaded, Grylls?
└ Wild Grylls If it were that simple, I’d already be buying it for myself.
└ Come on... You have money. Not enough to feed one baby?
└ Wild Grylls Again, why do I have to raise it? I’m saving my money for emergencies.
└ How much do you have?
Let’s see. How much money did I have?
Allfather had given me quite a lot last time, so I had plenty to spare. But raising an animal cost a huge amount of money. Especially when it wasn’t a dog or cat, but a mountain-sized “bear.” It might be a baby now, but that appetite wasn’t going anywhere.
└ Wild Grylls I have plenty, but investing it in this is a bit...
└ Are you an idiot? You could take the owlbear around as a bodyguard.
└ Wild Grylls What do you mean?
└ You know how strong owlbears are, right? Once it’s grown, you couldn’t ask for better protection. Just treat it like your personal knight and take it with you.
└ That’s... convincing!
└ No joke, that’s actually a good idea.
└ Raising it would be better, then.
Like that reply said, it was very convincing. I looked at the owlbear.
This adorable ball of fur would grow into that vicious monster. And as long as I satisfied its appetite, it would be extremely loyal.
‘... And I am lonely.’
I had the forum, but that couldn’t compare with interacting with a living creature.
I met the owlbear’s curious gaze. Using it as a bodyguard certainly didn’t seem like such a bad option. If money ran short, I could sell mandrakes or hunt golden frogs.
‘But what does it eat?’
Bears were omnivores that would eat even rotting carcasses. This, however, was an owlbear. I posted on the forum to find out about its diet.
What do owlbears eat?
Wild Grylls
Title says it all.
└ Pretty much anything, I think?
└ What they said. Basically the same diet as a bear.
└ Wild Grylls Would it like honey?
└ It’d fucking love it lol
Great. Why not give it some and see?
I went into the auction house and searched for honey, making sure to read the reviews thoroughly just in case. Apparently, this seller ran a third-generation apiary. Their proof was quite a sight.
└ How do we know that’s real honey?
└ (Photo of a face swollen all over from bee stings)
└ Ah, right... I’ll take two jars.
└ That’s solid proof lmao
That was the gist of it. Thanks to that, I bought some without hesitation.
After buying the honey, I bought a large wooden spoon, too. Then I scooped out some honey and offered it to the baby owlbear.
“Kyooo?”
“Try it. It’s good.”
“Sniff, sniff. Sniff.”
The baby owlbear was wary, apparently never having seen honey before. Watching it drip off the spoon felt like such a waste.
Still, its keen nose must have told it something, because it soon opened its mouth wide.
“Nom.”
“Is it good?”
“...”
After its first mouthful of honey, it froze for a moment.
“Kyooooo!”
“Uh, wh-whoa?”
“Kyaaaaa!”
It let out a bizarre cry and began frantically devouring the honey. Startled, I set the jar on the ground and backed away a couple of steps.
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!
“...”
It certainly made that look delicious. It was fascinating how such a long tongue came out of that short beak, too.
The baby owlbear was utterly absorbed in its first-ever taste of sweet honey.
I hadn’t even gotten a single taste. If I’d known this would happen, I would have tried some first.
Anyway, I was glad it seemed to like it. Finishing all that would take a while.
‘What should I name it?’
I’d decided to keep it for my survival and peace of mind. I’d never had a pet before, but I knew at least that names mattered.
‘It’s a fluffy ball of fur, so... Fluffy?’
Was that too lazy? Still, no name suited it better.
Asking the forum for a name was... probably a bad idea. They’d come up with all sorts of bizarre suggestions.
“Fluffy.”
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!
“Fluffy?”
SMACK, SMACK, SMACK!
Was it too busy eating honey to look my way?
Well, I’d chosen a name. I could teach it to recognize it over time.
First, though, I needed to post a photo. How could I keep this cuteness to myself?
Picked a name
Wild Grylls
(Photo of the baby owlbear eating honey)
It’s Fluffy. Because its fur is fluffy. I will not be taking objections.
└ Zero effort went into that name lmao
└ How’s that any different from calling a yellow dog Yellow? lol
└ For real lol
└ Wild Grylls Then you guys come up with one lol
└ Heavenly Demon How about Roundfur, meaning round fur?
└ Wild Grylls Sir...?
└ Showing your age there, gramps lmao
└ Rolls off the tongue, though. Roundfur!
└ Your name’s Roundfur from now on lol
└ Sword Masta Fluffy isn’t bad, is it? It’s cute, too.
└ Wild Grylls You don’t have any ideas, do you?
└ Sword Masta Is it female or male?
└ Wild Grylls Hang on.
As soon as I read that, I carefully went around behind the owlbear. Lowering my head, I spotted two round balls.
Definitely male. There was no surer way to check.
└ Wild Grylls Male.
└ Sword Masta Alexander II. How’s that? Cool, right?
└ Wild Grylls ...
└ Isn’t that a general’s name?
└ Yep, a famous Messiah general lol
└ If it were female, it would’ve been Alexandria lmao
└ Slutty Princess How about Naldo?
└ Who’s Naldo?
└ A soccer player for Chae U.
└ Slutty Princess You caught me lol
└ What do you mean, caught you? lmao
└ Absolutely shameless lol
└ All Hail the Sun Go with Sultan. That’s clearly the face of a future king.
└ What part of that pig says king?
└ All Hail the Sun A pig’s face is one of the royal physiognomies, you know.
└ Seriously?
└ All Hail the Sun Yep. I swear on my son.
└ Why bring your son into it? lmao
See? All sorts of monstrosities were coming out of the woodwork. I was better off calling him Fluffy than asking the forum.
But the forum seemed to have other plans.
└ So many names. We should vote.
└ Five options: Fluffy, Roundfur, Alexander, Naldo, and Sultan?
└ Any more suggestions? If not, I’m posting it now.
└ Shouldn’t Grylls post it?
└ Nah. He’ll definitely pick Fluffy.
└ Wild Grylls ??? I’m the owner. Why are you deciding this yourselves?
Unbelievable. I was the one raising him, so why were they naming him however they pleased?
But who were we dealing with here? Forum users. These bastards never listened to anyone else.
Naturally, they ignored my opinion and started the vote.
Baby Owlbear Name Poll
1. Fluffy: 1%
2. Roundfur: 39%
3. Alexander: 21%
4. Naldo: 19%
5. Sultan: 20%
By majority vote, Roundfur it is! Bang, bang, bang!
└ Heavenly Demon You all have excellent taste. I am pleased.
└ Sword Masta Wait. Why Roundfur? That name is so old-fashioned.
└ Slutty Princess I refuse to accept this.
└ All Hail the Sun What a shame. He has the face of a future king.
└ Wild Grylls Again, he’s MY pet. Why are you deciding this yourselves?
└ Heavenly Demon If you dislike it, choose whatever name you wish. I shall respect your opinion.
└ You can feel the disappointment in that comment...
└ Grylls, are you really going to turn down an elder asking so nicely?
└ If you refuse, you’re a real bastard.
└ Wild Grylls ...
What kind of bullshit was this?
Now I had no choice but to name him Roundfur. Especially since Heavenly Demon had helped me so much; that made it hard to refuse.
I rubbed my face and sighed. Why was I letting a forum get to me?
‘Still, Roundfur isn’t such a bad name... is it?’
Roundfur.
It sounded like something people would name a pet in the countryside long ago. Beyond rustic, it even sounded a little dim-witted.
‘At least it isn’t Dolsoe.’
Hmm. Maybe Dolsoe would have been better. I wasn’t sure.
I watched the baby owlbear, now named Roundfur, still busy eating honey, and spoke quietly.
“Roundfur.”
“Kyoo?”
Hey. You didn’t look up before.
Why were you looking up at the name Roundfur?
I stared incredulously at the baby owlbear—at Roundfur. The longer I looked into those round eyes, the calmer I felt.
‘Ah, screw it.’
I moved closer. Honey was dripping from his beak.
Then I stroked his head and made it official.
“Your name’s Roundfur from now on. Got it?”
“Kyoo!”
He gave me a bright, innocent smile, as though he liked it.
Why?
* * *
Meanwhile, around the same time...
“Heh heh.”
The Heavenly Demon, Yu Sowol, smiled with satisfaction. Her suggestion, Roundfur, had become the baby owlbear’s name.
The forum was already clamoring for pictures of Roundfur. Such was his powerful appeal. What could possibly be more gratifying?
‘To receive such an enthusiastic response even on the forum. Grylls must be delighted, too.’
Had Grylls heard that, he would have frothed at the mouth.