Chapter 23 - Water (1)

Had I underestimated the wilderness, or had I simply been too optimistic?

The moment I saw the ticks swarming between the comb's teeth, I realized that even in terms of hygiene alone, the wilderness was far more dangerous than I had imagined. To keep things sanitary, I needed to secure a large supply of water somehow.

'Does water have a personal grudge against me or something?'

Anyway, getting Roundfur clean came first. I ought to take a bath while I was at it, too. Thank goodness I was wearing clothes. Otherwise, I would definitely have been bitten by ticks.

First, I wanted to thank All Hail the Sun and get some advice.

└Wild Grylls: Holy shit, what's with all these ticks? I'd have been screwed if I'd missed them.

└All Hail the Sun: At least you noticed now. A hot-water wash should take care of it.

└Wild Grylls: Water's hard to come by where I am...

└All Hail the Sun: Then put bug repellent on yourself. A hot bath is still your best option, though.

According to All Hail the Sun, owlbears had hides too thick for ticks to bite through. The problem was that I was right beside one, with my comparatively thin skin.

I stripped off my clothes, quickly shook them out, and applied bug repellent all over my body. Fortunately, no ticks had gotten on me.

'I'll need long pants.'

The uniforms Slutty Princess had given me only had long sleeves. For now, I would have to make do with bug repellent.

'No wonder everyone in survival documentaries keeps themselves covered up.'

Now I understood how important clothing was. Long sleeves and long pants were essential.

After carefully applying the repellent without missing a spot, I looked at Roundfur. He was sound asleep, completely oblivious to what had happened.

'Right. None of this is your fault.'

I changed clothes and thought things over. Water was more urgent than ever, but those golden frogs were firmly entrenched there, making everything a headache. The stream was my closest source, so I hated to give up on it.

'What if I dug a channel instead? It's close enough.'

Not a bad option. It would just be physically demanding. As I'd mentioned, the stream was fairly close, so it shouldn't be that difficult a job. But I didn't know how to dig a water channel, so I'd need advice.

Dwarf, help me out

Wild Grylls

Gonna dig a water channel. Any advice?

└Passing Dwarf: For free?

└Wild Grylls: Want a frog too? They're expensive.

└Passing Dwarf: Just kidding lol

There was a limit to joking around. I suddenly wondered how old this guy was. With all that knowledge, he couldn't be young, but he acted like someone who still had a lot of growing up to do.

└Passing Dwarf: You planning to live there?

└Wild Grylls: No, but getting water is way too hard. Those frogs make it a bitch.

└Passing Dwarf: Don't dig a channel unless you're settling down there. It's a fuckton of work.

└Wild Grylls: That much?

└Passing Dwarf: Yeah. And unless you prevent erosion, all you'll get is dirty water. Better not to.

Erosion was that thing where rocks were worn down by various factors, wasn't it? I probably didn't need an explanation of what happened to soil, which was softer than rock. Besides, whatever else he said, the part about the water getting dirty bothered me.

└Wild Grylls: So there's no other way?

└Passing Dwarf: Roughly how far away is it?

└Wild Grylls: About a 10–12 minute walk?

└Passing Dwarf: At that distance, you might as well just scoop it up and carry it back yourself.

└Wild Grylls: You want me to get eaten by a snake? OK.

└Passing Dwarf: Hey. Waitwaitwait.

└Suddenly he's panicking lmaooo

└Can't even drink water whenever he wants lol

└Nothing's easy for him lmao

It wasn't as though I hadn't considered that. But there was no telling what danger I'd run into along the way, and even scooping up water was difficult. All I had to do was dip a hand into the water for golden frogs to come swarming out. Yeah, that would go great.

I had hands and a brain, too. But this was the wilderness. A single mistake could mean life or death, so I had to play it as safe as possible.

└Passing Dwarf: There is one way, but it'll take some work. You good with that?

└Wild Grylls: Yeah, don't mind.

└Passing Dwarf: First, where's the river? Uphill or downhill?

└Wild Grylls: Uphill.

└Passing Dwarf: Oh. Then this'll be easy. Might be pricey, though. That OK?

└Wild Grylls: Pricier than my life?

└Passing Dwarf: Good. I'll post in a bit. Hang on.

Since the dwarf said he would make a post, I just had to wait patiently. Still, I was worried. If explaining it required an entire post, it must be fairly complicated.

Would I really manage to get a proper water supply? Water tripped me up at every turn.

Starlight Lady has requested a trade. Would you like to accept?

"Huh?"

I'd been aimlessly browsing the forum. My eyes widened at the message.

Starlight Lady. The registered user I hadn't heard from in a while. I'd been worried something had happened to her, but the message put me at ease.

Starlight Lady? Is that really you?

Starlight Lady

Hello, Mr. Grylls! Yes! It's me!

Even her messages felt full of energy. Once you chose a forum username, you couldn't change it. That meant the person requesting a trade really was Starlight Lady.

With a broad smile, I sent my reply.

Have you recovered completely?

Starlight Lady

Yes! Thanks to your gift, I'm completely cured! Thank you so much!

Thank goodness she was cured. I felt a wave of relief. I'd spent so much time fretting that something had happened to her.

I wouldn't have to worry about that anymore. What a relief that she'd overcome such an intractable illness.

That's wonderful. Congratulations.

Starlight Lady

It's all thanks to you, Mr. Grylls.

I haven't been able to post because I've been getting examined...

I could more or less guess what had happened. Now that she'd gained the health she'd wanted so badly, she must have wanted a thorough checkup. Still, the fact that she'd returned after just a day suggested she really was cured.

Starlight Lady has registered an item for trade.

Starlight Lady

This is the Elixir I mentioned before.

I've given you everything except my emergency supply, so it should be plenty.

Thank you very much.

You're not experiencing any discomfort, are you?

Starlight Lady

None. I feel like running around right this instant.

Unfortunately, my parents won't let me.

Your parents are worried about you, too, so don't push yourself.

Starlight Lady

I've always thought this, but you really are a kind person, Mr. Grylls.

People like you are rare on the forum.

I tilted my head at being called kind. I seemed to hear that surprisingly often. Though considering the forum's culture, it wasn't wrong.

'I'm not so sure.'

Maybe it just meant this world was that much of a cesspool. Given the era, things like human rights would be chewed up and spat out. Add the forum's uniquely toxic culture to that, and no further explanation was needed.

Helping each other helps me in the end, too.

And aren't you kind yourself, Starlight Lady?

You could have ignored me, but you repaid me like this.

Starlight Lady

That's a lovely way to put it.

Do you still want to leave the Forest of Four Seasons?

Yes. I'd leave right now if I could.

Starlight Lady

I'll do what little I can to help you get out.

Believe it or not, I'm quite clever.

Or you could come here?

Starlight Lady

Ah. I'll pass on that, haha...

Damn, so close.

Of course I was joking. Who would tell someone who'd been at death's door just yesterday to go die?

I'd heard that no one who entered the Forest of Four Seasons ever made it out. So it was easier on me to take Starlight Lady's promise as words of comfort rather than a serious offer.

Starlight Lady

Oh! By the way, I saw the owlbear photos.

Cute, isn't he?

The words came out on reflex. It absolutely wasn't because I was a doting fool. He really was cute.

Starlight Lady

Yes. But I'm not particularly fond of... the name. Roundfur? What kind of name is Roundfur?

Did you have a name in mind, Lady?

Starlight Lady

Something that means a healthy little one...

Starlight Lady paused for a moment before sharing the name she'd come up with.

Starlight Lady

Gymlet. What about Gymlet?

Oh...

Sounded like a name that would evolve into Gym Rat someday. How could every single registered user be so bad at naming things? No matter how I looked at it, my own choice, Fluffy, seemed the best.

Still, I think I'll have to call him Roundfur for now.

They held a vote without even asking me...

Starlight Lady

Can't you just ignore it?

Heavenly Demon came up with it, so I can't really brush it off.

I couldn't ignore a name chosen by one of the registered users who'd helped me, especially Heavenly Demon. If disappointment made Heavenly Demon pull away from me, I'd be the one losing out.

Starlight Lady seemed to understand that, too. She accepted it, even if she did complain.

Starlight Lady

That's a shame. What will you do now, then?

I'll probably work on bringing river water over here.

The dwarf said he'd make a post about it soon.

Starlight Lady

I see. If you ever need help, please let me know.

I'll be waiting.

Thank you.

Starlight Lady

You can do it!

That ended my conversation with Starlight Lady. I felt both warmed and bitter. I was happy she was cured, but nothing had changed for me. Unless I escaped this hellhole, I could forget about living a normal life.

'Escape... I can do it, right?'

It crossed my mind every day. Could I escape the Forest of Four Seasons? If dangerous plants and animals were all that lurked here, I might somehow manage it.

But the forest's biggest problem was that space itself kept shifting. Getting lost was dangerous enough. With the terrain changing too, escape felt impossibly far away.

'As for the Elixir... Wow. She gave me seven?'

Starlight Lady had given me seven in total. Each was a different color, so they seemed to be different grades. I'd heard that paler colors meant lower grades, making them easy to sort.

'I'd better hide these so Roundfur doesn't break them.'

I stored the Elixir in the box the dwarf had given me earlier. In case Roundfur rummaged through it, I pushed it into the farthest corner.

'Speaking of which, has he posted yet?'

Next, I checked whether the dwarf had made his post. After refreshing the forum a few times, I soon found it.

Grylls, read this

Passing Dwarf

(A rough drawing of how to bring river water over)

(A photo of a natural-rubber hose)

(A photo of a valve)

Just do it like the drawing above. Suck on the end of each hose to get the water gushing out.

Oh, don't suck with it lying flat. Hold it upright. The pressure difference will make the water gush out.

Connect a valve to the final hose and you can turn it on and off. Get the general idea?

└Wild Grylls: I get it, but what's that mesh for? Filtering out debris?

└Passing Dwarf: Yep. You know your stuff.

└Wild Grylls: I catch on quick lol

└Passing Dwarf: Suddenly I don't feel like giving it to you.

└Wild Grylls: I'm a fucking moron.

└Lmaoooo

└That instant turnaround lmaooo

└Watching these bastards never fails to make me laugh lol

└They get along great lol

└Passing Dwarf: Anyway, there's nothing hard about it as long as you connect the hoses properly and get the slope right.

└Wild Grylls: You said it'd be expensive. Is the hose the pricey part?

└Passing Dwarf: Yeah. It's made of rubber, so it's expensive as fuck.

Expensive because it was made of rubber? The question crossed my mind, but quickly faded. Judging by the forum posts, this world had only just begun operating "factories."

Apparently, they also had mana-powered locomotives or something, though those weren't used very often.

'They said you could just travel through warp gates, right?'

A fantasy world was a fantasy world, all right. Sports like soccer and baseball were thriving, but science felt a little behind. Well, if I thought of magic as filling in for science, it probably wasn't such a big problem. I'd heard warp gates were expensive, so commoners used locomotives.

'The uniforms Slutty Princess gave me are really expensive, too.'

Given their material, they were bound to be pricey.

After listening to the dwarf's various explanations, I asked what I wanted to know most.

└Wild Grylls: So how much are we talking?

└Passing Dwarf: Giving you a deal, about 500 gold total? That's for the processed rubber and the valve together.

Five hundred gold was definitely expensive. Still, I had money left from Allfather.

But a problem arose elsewhere: the forum rules. Once you made a trade, you couldn't trade again for twenty-four hours. I'd traded with the dwarf after lunch yesterday, meaning we couldn't do it now.

└Passing Dwarf: I can put it in the auction house with a buyout price, but I'll list it at 1,100 gold. That OK?

└Wild Grylls: Just list it.

└Passing Dwarf: Thanks, thanks.

Painful as it was, I had no choice. Water was too urgent for me to quibble over money. I might haggle over a defensive wall or a fence, but not water.

I went straight to the auction house and checked the dwarf's listing.

Grylls Is a Dumbass

Price: 1,100 gold

"This bastard!"

I'd get him back later. With a disbelieving laugh, I bought it. Someone could have snatched it up first, but at that price, it wasn't going to happen. Even if someone did, I could just buy another from the dwarf.

"Now that everything's ready..."

Time to get some water.

I equipped my sword and shield just in case, then slung the coiled hose over my shoulder. All that remained was the work itself.

'As soon as I have water, I'm washing Roundfur first.'

I looked at him sleeping soundly. What would happen if he woke up while I was gone? Would he come outside looking for me? That would be really dangerous.

'I'd better finish as quickly as possible.'

Time to put my handiwork to the test.