Chapter 26 - Breathing Methods (2)

With Heavenly Demon and Sword Masta's help, I somehow managed to sense mana. Approaching it as a repeat of what I'd experienced the first time worked pretty well.

The problem came afterward. Every time the mana set out from my lower abdomen and completed a circuit, my stomach hurt. Once or twice would have been one thing, but the pain hit the instant it finished each lap, and I simply couldn't hold it in.

It was bad enough that I was considering building a separate toilet. Even trekking out to relieve myself was exhausting.

'And why am I sweating so much?'

I didn't feel particularly strained, yet sweat was pouring from my entire body. And it wasn't ordinary sweat, either. It was pitch-black.

This must have been that filthy runoff I'd only ever heard about. It certainly looked disgusting.

"Blech!"

The stench was awful, too. I nearly threw up. It smelled like every kind of waste imaginable rolled into one.

"Skree! Skreeee!"

Roundfur, whose nose was much better than mine, was having an outright fit. He'd scrambled away the moment he caught a whiff of me. Judging by how he was huddled in a corner of the cave growling, it must have been pretty bad.

It looked like I needed another bath. Otherwise, Roundfur might kick me out of the cave. The sun had already set, but sleeping like this might make me sick.

'What on earth is going on?'

I filled the tub and even lit a fire underneath it. Waiting until the water boiled didn't seem practical, so I climbed straight in. The refreshing chill of stream water spread over my body as I submerged myself.

After a brief groan of relief, I decided to ask the forum for help.

Is mana circulation supposed to be like this?

Wild Grylls

I'm circulating mana like you told me, but every full lap makes me need to shit. Is this normal?

└Heavenly Demon I have never heard of someone needing to relieve themselves every time they circulate their qi and regulate their breathing.

└Sword Masta Me neither. Isn't it just a bowel problem?

└Wild Grylls I haven't eaten anything;; It's not even diarrhea.

└Eww. Gross.

└Fuck, I'm eating curry and you're talking about shit.

└Actually, you're eating curry-flavored shit lol

└Oh, come ON.

It was a pretty disgusting subject, but I was serious. If it had been diarrhea, I could have understood it to some extent. That would mean I was ill.

But it wasn't, so I couldn't help wondering. The only things I'd eaten so far were fasting pills.

└Heavenly Demon The only thing that comes to mind is your body expelling impurities... Is there something wrong with your body?

└Wild Grylls Well, I'm not a pig, at least.

To be blunt, I was on the overweight side. Neither skinny nor noticeably fat.

Still, living on instant noodles to save money had probably left me with a buildup of visceral fat.

└Heavenly Demon Considering what happened when you took the fasting pills as well, that is the only explanation I can think of for now.

└Sword Masta Or it really could be your constitution.

└Wild Grylls Does the same thing happen when fat people learn breathing methods?

└If it did, I'd have been first in line to learn lol

└For real. Get healthy just by breathing? I'd start right now lmao

Apparently, learning breathing methods didn't change your physique. Something about how changing your physique involved "external training," whereas breathing methods were "internal training."

They did explain that the two complemented each other, though, so it was best to keep your body in shape.

└Heavenly Demon Do you have any other symptoms?

└Wild Grylls I'm sweating black stuff, and it smells horrible.

└Heavenly Demon It seems your body really is expelling impurities.

└Wild Grylls Is that good?

└Heavenly Demon It goes beyond good into abnormal. One must normally reach at least the Transcendent Peak level.

└Wild Grylls But it's not bad, right?

└Heavenly Demon It is not, but just in case, I think you should focus solely on circulating your qi and regulating your breathing for now.

In the end, my breathing lessons stalled at qi circulation and regulated breathing. The formulas would come later.

I had no particular objections, so I readily agreed. There wasn't much choice when my stomach hurt every time the mana went around.

'It's not nutrients leaving my body instead of impurities, is it?'

The anxiety alone made me want to eat more fasting pills. But that might make my Johnson explode, so I was better off resisting.

"Whew."

Why couldn't a single thing go according to plan? Though getting dumped in this godforsaken forest was the problem to begin with.

After lamenting my lot, I lifted my head toward the sky. The night sky, embroidered with countless stars, was truly beautiful.

'... Right. There's no need to rush.'

The water was warming up, too. I finished by scrubbing myself squeaky-clean with soap.

I'd deal with the water left in the tub tomorrow. It was too dark to do it safely now.

After drying myself thoroughly with a towel, I browsed the forum while waiting for my hair to dry. Even late at night, it was lively. Mostly overflowing with pointless posts.

Forum bro currently fucked in real time

I wanna quit my job.

This is an untapped market, right?

The river's pretty warm these days

Fucking knife-ears planted trees again

EMERGENCYYYYY!

That sort of thing. It had gone beyond familiar to downright endearing.

After some enthusiastic browsing, I posted a quick message. As always, it marked the end of my day. A flood of comments appeared immediately, but I only skimmed them before closing the forum.

Maybe it was because I'd learned a breathing method today, but I could barely keep my eyes open.

'What should I do tomorrow? Repairs? Breathing practice? Exploring?'

Whatever I chose, one thing wouldn't change: it would be hard work.

Before closing my eyes, I checked on Roundfur. He was lying right beside me, settling down to sleep. At least he made things feel a little less lonely.

'I'll have to chop plenty of trees, if only for the money.'

I slowly closed my eyes. As sleep washed over me, my thoughts ground to a halt.

I'd worked hard today. Time to rest up for tomorrow.

'I can... get out of here, right?'

I clung to that gradually fading hope.

* * *

Sleep is vital to every animal. Humans are no different. The need for sleep far outstrips hunger or sexual desire.

If you don't sleep properly, you might as well consider the whole day ruined. Conversely, a good night's sleep means you can greet the morning feeling fresher than ever.

Another bright and vigorous morning!

Wild Grylls

If anyone asks who I am, I'm Wild Grylls!

└Heavenly Demon You are awake. Any discomfort?

└Wild Grylls None at all. Actually, I feel way more refreshed than usual.

└Sword Masta That'll be the breathing. It works even better if you do it first thing in the morning.

└Heavenly Demon It is likely due to the breathing. Once before bed and once upon waking would be beneficial.

└Heavenly Demon You insolent fool. I was about to say that first.

└Sword Masta You're awfully slow.

└Heavenly Demon Faster is not always better. Accuracy is what matters.

└Sword Masta I agree on that point, but speed matters more.

└Heavenly Demon Pursuing speed is how one falls prey to qi deviation.

└Starlight Lady You're awake. Are you hurting anywhere?

└Wild Grylls Not really. You're really all better now, right?

└Starlight Lady Yes. I went outside the mansion for a run as soon as I woke up.

└Wild Grylls You really are healthy now.

└So does that leave just Grylls?

└Poor Grylls, all alone now lol

└Will he beat the Lady's record?

└Starlight Lady You're all so mean. I'll help you get out before you break my record, so please don't let it bother you.

Heavenly Demon and Sword Masta were bickering first thing in the morning. Starlight Lady was commenting in good health.

I tried to remember how many get-well posts I'd made for Starlight Lady. From what I vaguely remembered, it had been about 110 days. Roughly three or four months. Would I be able to get out by then?

'By that point, I won't be adjusting anymore. I'll just be living here.'

After a little browsing, I checked on Roundfur. Still a baby, he remained in dreamland even though I was awake. Moving around might wake him, so I checked the auction house first.

'Let's see... The stuff I listed yesterday...'

Yesterday, I'd listed the owlbear corpse and the tree, both for bidding. With the brutal fees, auctions put the seller at a disadvantage.

But fees or no fees, getting them sold mattered more to me, so I was simply curious.

Owlbear Corpse: 200 taels of silver

Forest of Four Seasons Timber: 10 gold

"Oh?"

Those were substantial prices. The tree was one thing, but the owlbear was going for quite a lot. Silver was the currency of the Central Plains, and I'd heard one tael was roughly equivalent to ten gold.

That put the owlbear corpse at about 2,000 gold.

'Why is it so expensive? Is it the gallbladder?'

Owlbears were a kind of bear, so their gallbladders probably were expensive. Even if that wasn't the reason, I didn't care as long as it sold for a good price.

'The tree's worth quite a bit, too.'

Ten gold for every tree I chopped down? I could absolutely become an environmental menace.

'Except I'd probably wreck my body first.'

I'd need to reach the point where I could fell a tree with a single swing, at least. Until then, I planned to avoid logging purely for money.

'I need to clear trees for the wall anyway.'

After roughly organizing my tasks, I sat in the lotus position and began breathing as Heavenly Demon and Sword Masta had advised.

Once each in the morning, at noon, in the evening, and before bed. Four times a day was standard, but there was an exception: after consuming a spiritual elixir. You absolutely had to do it then to assimilate its energy.

'Then do I need to do this every time I eat?'

Since the fasting pills were spiritual-elixir grade, it was probably mandatory. I closed my eyes and practiced the breathing I'd learned yesterday.

'Start from the lower abdomen and imagine it circling through my whole body...'

At first, even controlling it had been difficult, but after that it was easy. The trouble was the sudden stomachache after every circuit. I was worried today might be the same.

'Through the heart and head, then back to the lower abdomen.'

Heavenly Demon had said passing through the heart and head was dangerous for a beginner. You normally needed to reach a certain level to open those pathways, but mine had opened right from the start.

It had given me a nosebleed, but I'd never been in any danger.

'Back to the lower abdomen.'

The mana circulating through my body returned to my lower abdomen. Unlike yesterday, I felt no stomach pain or anything of the sort. Maybe everything that could come out already had.

After a few more circuits, I slowly brought the breathing exercise to a close.

"Whew."

I slowly opened my eyes as I exhaled. The first thing I saw was a pair of bright golden eyes. As I gazed into them, the furry little fellow tilted his head.

"Kyu?"

It was Roundfur. Apparently, he'd been watching beside me as I practiced. He had enough sense not to interrupt, at least.

I stared at him for a moment, then chuckled and asked,

"Hungry?"

"Kyu!"

"How come you seem to understand everything I say?"

"Kyuu?"

"Or not?"

It didn't matter either way. I bought a suitable piece of meat from the auction house and gave it to Roundfur, who devoured it with gusto. He might be thirsty, so I figured I should give him water, too.

TRICKLE...

"Huh?"

But the water wasn't flowing properly. Some was coming out, but the pressure was far too weak. Apparently, something had happened to the hose or the river overnight.

"What a pain."

I wasn't going up there right away. The water was still running, after all.

I gave Roundfur some water and had a fasting pill for breakfast. Now it was one per meal instead of three. Even one was just as bitter. Maybe taking only one was better, at least.

'It should be fine to test it right away, right?'

When I immediately put the cultivation method into practice, I got a different reaction. Something clumped inside me broke down and merged with my mana.

That was probably the fasting pill's energy dissolving. I kept circulating my mana like that. Nothing much changed. My stomach didn't hurt, and I felt fine.

'Has my body gotten used to them because I've eaten so many?'

Maybe that was it. In any case, breakfast was done. Time to go fix the hose.

I picked up my sword and shield and looked at Roundfur. He was staring at me as though he knew I was leaving.

"You need to stay here. Okay?"

"Kyu."

"Oh, and if your stomach hurts, poop outside. Not inside the cave."

"Kyuu."

His adorable reply sounded almost like he understood. Well, even if he didn't, there was no rush. I could take my time potty-training him.

I stroked Roundfur a few times before leaving the cave.

'My sword and shield feel lighter. Am I imagining it?'

Maybe it was the good night's sleep, but the sword and shield felt light in my hands. Not only that, my whole body felt fantastic.

The change was so sudden that I couldn't help thinking of yesterday's internal energy cultivation method. Then again, it might just be today. Better not get my hopes up too much.

'I wish I could feel like this every day.'

With that thought, I headed toward the river. When I reached the spot where I'd installed the hose, what greeted me was...

SPLASH! SPLASH!

"... Now what the hell is this?"

A single red fish was completely blocking the water channel.

'Looks like a Magikarp.'

That was more or less what it looked like.