Chapter 29 - Thief (3)

The sloth—or should I call it a speed-sloth now?

The speed-sloth looked at me with a relaxed expression that seemed to say I was beneath its notice. But that didn't make my temper flare. If anything, I grew more tense.

CRACK!

The bolt it had caught snapped in half.

But what worried me most were its claws. Those monstrously long claws. One hit from those, and I could kiss my life goodbye. How could I not be tense?

'It could pounce at any moment.'

I couldn't understand why it moved so slowly when it was that agile. Maybe it was something like this.

["I only knelt to build momentum!"]

Sloths normally moved slowly to conserve energy. Allfather had told me that. But that was difficult in the Forest of Four Seasons, so it had evolved in a different direction: displaying incredible agility only in moments of danger, like just now.

It was a pretty plausible theory. This world really was insane.

The speed-sloth began creeping forward at its leisurely pace. Perhaps it was because I'd seen how agile it was, but it looked different now. It wasn't slow—it was taking its time.

There was a reason Heavenly Demon and Allfather had warned me to be careful.

'Can skilled people tell just from a video?'

I didn't know about that. Still, their hunch had definitely been right. So how was I supposed to deal with it now? First, I put down the crossbow. Shooting was pointless when it would just dodge or catch the bolt.

'In close combat, too... Honestly, I think I'd lose.'

I was hopelessly outmatched in speed. It had watched a bolt fly and caught it. And me? I could barely even follow its trajectory.

I had every reason to be nervous. If I let my guard down, those claws might pierce my throat.

'No. If it were going to do that, it would've done it already.'

That left two possibilities. Either this speed-sloth was a pacifist, or it had no intention of killing me. The former would be nice, but the latter still left a potential danger. With that kind of speed and agility, it would definitely be a threat.

'... It might be toying with me, too.'

Alternatively, it might be taking things easy because I posed no threat. Watching the speed-sloth inch closer, I glanced behind me. The fish I'd caught this morning was in the iron tub.

'Should I just give it the fish and get it to leave peacefully?'

Not a bad option. My chances of winning a fight were extremely low. I'd received Elixirs from Starlight Lady, but those were only useful if I was still in one piece. A direct hit to a vital spot would probably render even an Elixir useless.

After agonizing over it, I slowly took hold of my shield. I didn't pick up my sword. I had another plan in mind.

Keeping the shield facing it, I walked toward the iron tub. All the while, it simply kept approaching at a crawl.

SCRAAAPE! SCRAAAPE!

Soon I was dragging the fish-filled tub along with one hand. I wanted to see whether it really wanted the fish.

The speed-sloth approached me with its characteristically sluggish movements. That settled it: it wanted the fish. But that raised a question.

'Why, though?'

I'd heard leaves were its staple food. Why did it want a fish? Did animals adapted to the Forest of Four Seasons develop different diets, too?

'Or is there something special about the fish?'

I suddenly remembered what Heavenly Demon had said. My catch resembled a spiritual treasure—one with an inner core. I still didn't know if it really was one.

After thinking it over, I first dragged the tub into the cave. Despite the considerable racket, Roundfur slept on without a care in the world. Here I was fearing for my life, and he was sprawled out asleep. How unfair was that?

'Well, he is a baby...'

Meanwhile, the speed-sloth entered the cave. There was nowhere to run. I held my sword and shield at the ready.

I had one move left: strike when it went for the fish. I planned to kill it, since I never knew when it might thrust those vicious claws at my throat.

"..."

Then the speed-sloth came to a complete stop. Slow as it was, it hadn't stopped before, so I couldn't help wondering why.

It was staring intently at something. I followed its gaze. It was looking at the sack of fasting pills.

It crept forward, ever so slowly.

"H-hey?"

Not the fasting pills. I hurried over to the sack. When I snatched it up, the speed-sloth quietly looked up at me.

Then, still looking up, it crooked those vicious claws at me, again and again. Anyone could tell it was asking for one. It also looked like a threat to kill me if I didn't hand one over immediately.

"... Want one?"

"..."

It merely stared at me in response. At least it had turned its attention from the fish to the fasting pills. Besides, I still had plenty left. I carefully took one out.

"Th-this?"

"..."

Without a word—not that it had said anything before—it speared the pill with a claw. Then it slowly brought it to its mouth. Even that movement was so painfully slow that watching made me nervous.

"Mm."

"..."

The speed-sloth worked its jaw up and down as if savoring the flavor. These were the same fasting pills the owlbear and Roundfur had immediately spat out because they were bitter. Even I ate them to survive, never for the taste.

Yet it chewed the pill thoroughly. Its usual relaxed expression didn't change at all.

It crooked its claws again.

"... You want another?"

"..."

"That's a bit diffi—"

WHOOSH!

I'd been about to say I barely had enough for myself. In the blink of an eye, the speed-sloth's claws were at my throat. A little farther, and they would have punched a huge hole through it.

I felt my blood run cold. I hadn't even seen it move.

As I swallowed hard, the speed-sloth crooked its other hand at me. Give it here, or die. The message couldn't have been clearer.

"... Ha. Fuck."

What a shitty world. With a bitter sigh, I gave it another fasting pill. Only then did it withdraw its claws. After eating the pill, it looked satisfied.

Thankfully, two seemed to be enough, and it didn't ask for more. It seemed to have lost interest in the fish, too. I sighed in relief.

It began clambering awkwardly upward.

"Huh? What? What are you doing?"

But the speed-sloth's bizarre behavior didn't end there. It suddenly started climbing up my body. It was careful not to prick me with its sharp claws, so it didn't even hurt.

Finally, it plopped its chin onto the top of my head.

"..."

"..."

Did it think I was some tree that grew leaves? I was too dumbfounded to speak.

I wanted to shake it off, but that wasn't an option.

'I'd only hurt myself trying to pull it off.'

Those terrifying claws alone made removing it by force impossible. At least it weighed next to nothing. Strangely, it didn't stink, either. It actually smelled nice.

'This thing probably has ticks, too...'

Still, I'd have to wash it, just in case. I heaved a sigh. Not even a week had passed, and I'd already been through every kind of ordeal imaginable. There was only one place where I could vent.

Getting mugged by a sloth in real time

Wild Grylls

I'm the registered user who posted the sloth earlier. This bastard ate a fasting pill, then threatened me with its claws for more. T_T

Life is so unfair. Never thought I'd live to get mugged by a sloth.

└Heavenly Demon You surrendered merely because it pointed its claws at you?

└Wild Grylls This bastard can catch arrows on sight... And it nearly stabbed my throat with its claws at that same speed.

└Heavenly Demon Hmm. In that case, I can understand somewhat. Perhaps it could make an excellent sparring partner.

└Wild Grylls You want me to spar with a sloth? Seriously?

└Heavenly Demon You said you were slower than the sloth, so it would not be a bad idea.

└Wild Grylls Ugh.

└Sword Masta What's the sloth doing now?

└Wild Grylls Hanging on my back.

└Sword Masta What kind of bullshit is that?

└Wild Grylls Sounds like bullshit, right? It's true. I'll post a picture later.

└Never thought I'd hear of a sloth mugging someone and hitching a ride on them lmao

└Legendary lol

└Is it even a sloth?

└Wild Grylls I've decided to call it a speed-sloth. Yep.

└Speed-sloth lmao

└Better than Fluffy lol

└Wild Grylls What's wrong with Fluffy?

└Don't Abandon the Hero It's lame!

└Admin, that you?

└Shows up out of nowhere and starts dropping facts lol

└Wild Grylls Where have you been all this time?

└Don't Abandon the Hero Someone was tracking me, so I was on the run for a while! I'm safe now! Still sleeping outdoors, though!

└Oh...

└Ohhh...

└Ohhhhh...

└Wild Grylls Why not come stay with me, then? It's surprisingly plentiful here.

└Don't Abandon the Hero Sorry! The goddess doesn't forgive suicide!

└Wild Grylls That's harsh.

└Allfather A speed-sloth... Perhaps you've discovered a new species. Scholars might take an interest.

└Wild Grylls Regular sloths have lots of ticks too, right?

└Allfather They don't have ticks. Instead, moths and beetles live on them and eat the ticks.

Oh. Fuck.

└Allfather Moreover, the fungi should be preventing infections.

└Wild Grylls So none of this is good for me?

└Allfather Correct. It's filthy. Extremely so.

So I had to wash it somehow. But I wasn't sure it would get off willingly.

At least it didn't feel gross. As I'd noted earlier, it didn't stink either, which made it tolerable.

'Guess I'll have to hunt golden frogs like this for now.'

I'd catch the golden frogs, trade with Allfather, then have the fish for lunch. The speed-sloth's unexpected appearance had thrown things off a little, but everything was fine now.

With the speed-sloth on my back, I gathered my supplies. I was supposed to sling my crossbow onto my back, but the speed-sloth made that diffi—

It quietly shifted aside.

"Hm?"

When I tried to sling the crossbow onto my back, it moved out of the way. Once the crossbow was on, it climbed back over it.

What a clever animal. I'd sensed it when it threatened me, too, but it seemed pretty intelligent.

'Can it understand me, like Roundfur?'

No way. It was just smart, that was all.

I carefully adjusted the crossbow so the speed-sloth wouldn't accidentally pull the trigger. Perhaps it understood my intentions, because it hung toward the front so it wouldn't get in the way.

That let me look it right in the face. Anyone would have thought it looked dim-witted. Yet this thing could snatch bolts out of the air. The Forest of Four Seasons really was bizarre.

HISSSS...

I was heading uphill toward the river where the golden frogs lived when an ominous sound reached my ears. Something like a snake flicking its tongue.

Having suffered at the hands of a steelscale snake before, I scanned my surroundings warily. But I couldn't see anything. For a moment I wondered if I'd imagined it.

HISS!

Something brown that had definitely been a branch opened its jaws wide. At the same time, its brown body turned green. Two sharp fangs jutted menacingly inside its mouth.

It wasn't a branch. It was a highly venomous snake.

'A ch-chameleon?!'

A snake mimicking a chameleon's camouflage? What kind of monstrous combination was that?

I was too startled to react properly. I'd thought it was a branch in the first place, so I hadn't even recognized it.

SLASH!

But another animal moved before I did. It happened so quickly that I couldn't follow the action. The result, however, was perfectly clear.

HISSS! HISS!

"..."

Claws even more vicious than those sharp fangs had pierced the viper's head. Impaled on the claws, the viper's body trembled. It coiled around them, struggling to escape, but it was futile.

It was considerably smaller than the steelscale snake I'd encountered before, and its fate had been sealed the moment those claws pierced its head.

RIIIP!

The speed-sloth grabbed the snake with its free hand and pulled hard, tearing the viper's head apart lengthwise.

THUD.

Tossed to the ground, the viper writhed. Its split-open head was revolting. Just to make sure it couldn't bite me, I stabbed it with my sword.

Before long, its body went limp. Its torso still twitched occasionally, but it was dead all the same.

"..."

"..."

I looked at the speed-sloth hanging on my back. It wore its usual relaxed expression, looking utterly peaceful, as if nothing had happened.

"... Want another fasting pill?"

The speed-sloth nodded.

It really couldn't have been slower.