Chapter 3 - A Fortuitous Encounter (2)

What was the most dangerous thing in the wild?

Poisonous plants, venomous insects, and venomous snakes—the so-called deadly trio? Yes.

Or mushrooms, the biggest gamble of all? Yes.

Or perhaps starvation or dehydration? Also yes.

Outside the protective fence of civilization, everything in the wild was dangerous. Even the ground beneath your feet wasn't safe.

And taken individually, humans were pathetically weak creatures. Without tools, we probably couldn't even beat a large dog.

WOOF! WOOF! WOOF!

WOOF! WOOF!

Right now, a pack of large dogs was barking savagely at me. The problem was that these weren't just ordinary large dogs.

They were practically the size of cows. True to a fantasy world, even the wild dogs had ridiculous stats.

'Luckily, they're too big to come any farther...'

Taking their size into account, I'd deliberately run into a dense stand of trees. The spot where I'd found the herb wasn't bad either, but it was open on all sides. The trees were thin, too.

So I'd fled as fast as I could, without forgetting the sword and bundle of food Heavenly Demon had given me. Now I was holding out with my back against a huge rock wall.

The wild dogs weren't trying to squeeze between the trees just yet. They were simply watching.

In other words, they must be intelligent. They knew I had the advantage.

'What do I do?'

Was holding out here my only option? I really hoped those fuckers would just leave.

But you always had to prepare for the worst. I immediately opened the forum. Since they weren't coming at me yet, I planned to get some help there.

How do I deal with these fucking dogs urgent

Wild Grylls

(Photo of fucking huge dogs glaring through the trees)

What do I do about these fuckers? Any ideas?

└Aren't those mad dogs? Why are they so big?

└Even a sword expert would struggle against those things?

└Farewell I'll pray for your soul

└One bite and you'll probably die of rabies lmao

└Wild Grylls You fuckers stop answering my questions with questions

Useless bastards, every last one. I scowled.

The longer this went on, the more chances these so-called mad dogs would have to strike. I had to think of something.

└Heavenly Demon No! You must not die! Please, stay alive so that I may repay your kindness!

└Why so heartbroken lmao

└Anyone would think you two were lovers lmao

Heavenly Demon's not-quite-encouragement was comforting, even if it wasn't any practical help.

Still, all the comments naturally drew more viewers. I hoped at least one of them would come through.

└Don't Abandon the Hero Oh! I've seen those magical beasts plenty of times! Their noses are their weak point. Just stab one with a sword and it'll pass out for a few seconds!

└How does the admin know that?

└Aren't those beasts pretty rare?

└Don't Abandon the Hero Because I'm the hero! I know how to deal with every monster and magical beast!

Fortunately, the admin had dropped by and kindly explained. Just as I was about to take heart...

└Sword Masta But wouldn't you need to be at least an advanced sword expert to do what the admin suggested? As far as I know, that's the case.

└The world's most useless theory: "as far as I know" lmao

└What happens if you can't?

└Sword Masta It'll go berserk and smash through the trees and everything else. Then you'll die.

└Don't Abandon the Hero That's why you have to cut its head off or stab it in the heart before that happens! I can do it!

Oh, for fuck's sake. The admin was a monster in human skin. And how did this Sword Masta know all that, anyway?

I didn't know what a sword expert was, but by my standards, they clearly qualified as monsters.

└Wild Grylls Fuck is there anything for normal people? All I've got is the sword Heavenly Demon gave me

└Normal people never run into those things;; OP are you really in the Forest of Four Seasons? Are you a criminal or something?

└Nah can't be They pluck criminals' eyes out before sending them into the Forest of Four Seasons so they can't use the forum

└Holy shit that's insane;;

└Isn't it impossible to even log onto the forum from the Forest of Four Season's?

└Seasons, not Season's

└Yeah far as I know the tangled mana stops it working

└Just hit them in the head A big fucking dog is still just a dog

└Fr lmao

* * *

They'd said all sorts of useless crap, but it boiled down to one thing: hit them in the head.

What incredibly useful information. Right up there with "People die if they don't drink water."

└Heavenly Demon My sword is the finest of fine blades. Cutting off those wild dogs' heads should be child's play. Trust me.

└Sword Masta How good is it? Better than Durandal or Excalibur?

└Heavenly Demon What might those be? At any rate, mine was forged from ten-thousand-year cold iron.

└Lmaoooo

└Ten lmao thousand lmao year lmao cold iron lmao

└You talk about ten-thousand-year cold iron like it's some common mutt's name lmao

Thus spoke Heavenly Demon: the sword was the finest of fine blades.

At those words, I looked at the sword. It certainly had an extraordinary sheen. I could tell it had been properly maintained. With the terrain on my side, too, I could take them.

'It's do or die.'

I looked at the biggest dog, standing in the center. There were three in total, and the one in the middle was the largest of them.

That was probably the leader. Without hesitation, I charged toward it.

WOOF! WOOF!

The dogs guarding its flanks began squeezing through the trees.

"It's a trap, you fuckers!"

I'd pretended to go for the leader, then went straight for its underlings. The one on the left came first.

More than half of its body was through the gap. I slashed vertically at its head. I didn't know jack shit about swordsmanship, so it was more of a downward whack than a proper cut.

SWISH!

"Huh?"

Something was strange. I'd definitely swung down, but the blade had passed straight through the dog's head.

For a moment, I wondered whether I'd swung at an illusion, but the result soon became clear.

CRACK!

The dog's head split vertically with a crack, then...

THUD!

It collapsed with its tongue hanging out. Even the tongue was split lengthwise.

Dazed, I stared down at the dog. I'd felt no resistance through my hands.

At most, it had felt like slicing tofu with a knife. It was unreal in an entirely different way, and I stood there stunned.

WOOOF!

Oh. Right. There was another one.

The instant I heard the sound behind me, I swung the sword on reflex. It was so close that I'd acted without thinking.

SPLAT!

Fortunately, the dog didn't land on me. Instead, its head and body fell separately to the ground.

Just like before, I'd barely felt the blade cut through. Bewildered, I looked from one corpse to the other.

If nothing else, I'd learned one thing.

Heavenly Demon was a god, and this sword was invincible.

GRRR...!

"Oh. You're still here, too."

Only the leader remained. It was glaring at me, thoroughly on guard.

Tension stretched between us through the thick trees. Who would back down first?

The leader, of course. It looked between its dead underlings, then began edging away.

It must have realized that as long as I had the sword, it was the one at a disadvantage. Smart dog.

"Whew!"

The danger was over. I let out all my pent-up tension in a sigh.

What would have happened without Heavenly Demon's sword—or if I hadn't stumbled across that herb in the first place?

I still didn't have a compass, so I couldn't move around freely. I'd have to wait until Heavenly Demon gave me one.

'Oh. I should say thank you first.'

I immediately wrote a forum post.

Heavenly Demon is a god and

Wild Grylls

(Photo of dead dogs on the ground and a sword held in a tight grip)

This sword is invincible.

└Holy shit you killed those things?

└That sword really is fucking good lmaooo

└Sword Masta A clean cut. That would be difficult no matter how good the sword was.

└Don't Abandon the Hero You're alive! Thank goodness! There won't be anything to be sad about today!

└Heavenly Demon Are you hurt anywhere?

└Wild Grylls Not a scratch, thanks to you. Thank you for the great sword.

└Heavenly Demon What a relief. I feared something might happen to you, my honored friend.

Even the written words overflowed with concern. Someone this warm was the Heavenly Demon? No way.

The way she spoke reminded me of my late grandmother, which made me like her even more. I leaned against the rock wall and started browsing the forum while I rested.

└Sword Masta If you have nothing else to do, would you be interested in learning swordsmanship? You seem to have talent.

└Heavenly Demon Insolence! I shall personally impart my secret manual to this one! How dare you!

└Sword Masta Oh, come now. Don't be so strict. Do you use a sword as well, Heavenly Demon?

└Heavenly Demon I am proficient with every weapon. If I had to choose, it would be the sword.

Looking closely, Sword Masta seemed to be getting on in years, too. Unlike the others, this user was meticulous about periods and spacing.

I didn't particularly care about that stuff, but when someone was polite to me, I tended to be polite back.

About halfway, anyway.

└Wild Grylls I'd rather have survival supplies than sword lessons, pretty please...

└Sword Masta That makes sense. I'll go give it some thought.

└Heavenly Demon I shall hurry down the mountain. I will see to it that you receive the items you requested.

That was enough forum time for now. I got up.

If I stayed planted here, other animals might follow the smell of blood. It hadn't been much of a fight, but the tension had drained quite a bit of my strength. Better to move on.

'Somewhere to hide until the compass arrives...'

RUMBLE!

The ground suddenly began to shake. I blinked, then hurriedly stood up.

First wild animals, now a natural disaster? What kind of bullshit was this?

But something was odd. The moment I took my back off the wall, the shaking seemed to lessen.

Before I could figure out why, the wall behind me began to change.

GRRRRIND!

"... Oh, God."

The wall was rising. The wall was literally moving upward.

Then the enormous rock wall pulled free of the ground like an uprooted tree. It didn't take long to realize that the wall I was looking at was a "leg."

I stared at the thing that had transformed from an ordinary rocky hill into a two-legged giant in an instant, then opened the forum.

What the hell is this thing?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a fucking huge rock giant towering overhead)

Title says it all

└Oh holy fuck? Isn't that a rock guardian?

└Why the fuck is a guardian there lmaooo

└Don't even swordmasters struggle to kill those? lmaooo

└Bro what are you doing! Run!

Everyone was frantically telling me to run. I turned without hesitation.

Not before remembering the bundle of food on the ground, though. The great Heavenly Demon had given me that. No way was I leaving it behind.

└Kill it and I'll give you 50,000 gold lol

└Wild Grylls Fknybchdntndit

└Still posting even now;;;

└Someone translate

└Does that say "Fucking bitch I don't need it"?

└Looks like it lmaooo

└Absolute madman lmao

I barely managed to escape. I leaned against a tree to catch my breath.

I could still hear distant thudding, but it was getting farther away. It wasn't coming toward me.

'This is driving me insane.'

I'd barely survived one crisis when another came along. What kind of goddamn forest was this?

'This isn't really the Forest of Four Seasons, is it?'

I prayed it wasn't. For one thing, they'd said you couldn't even access the forum from there.

After a few ragged breaths, I opened the forum. So many notifications had gone off even while I was running that I had no choice but to check.

└Sword Masta It's easy to beat that thing. Just cut off one leg and it'll lose its balance. Then stab your sword into the core in its chest.

└Why are you explaining it like a recipe for instant noodles lmao

└???: See? Wasn't that easy?

This Sword Masta wasn't exactly normal either. What on earth did this person do?

Just as I'd done with Heavenly Demon, I dug through Sword Masta's post history.

You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lesson 15 - 2 hours ago

You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lesson 14 - 1 day ago

You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lesson 13 - 2 days ago

"..."

Oh. Fuck. A sword-obsessed lunatic.

Every single post was a swordsmanship lesson. This was a different kind of crazy.

There were fewer posts than Heavenly Demon's, but unlike her mostly shitposting output, these were all packed with effort.

A pointlessly diligent lunatic. There was no better description for Sword Masta.

One post in particular stood head and shoulders above the rest.

Looking for a life partner.

Sword Masta

Requirement: Must be stronger than a swordmaster

└How good are you then bro?

└Sword Masta Not tellin'

└Bullshit lmao

There wasn't a single normal person on this forum.