Chapter 34 - Moderator (1)

After chalking up a loss to the speed-sloth, I finished cleaning up. Losing the iron tub was a shame, but the auction house was flooded with them, so replacing it was easy. Besides, I had plenty of money after selling the owlbear corpse and the logs. I’d just listed the inner core too, so I’d be even better off tomorrow.

'How much will the inner core go for?'

Heavenly Demon had said it was difficult to put a price on it. That actually made it more likely to be undervalued. Inner cores were rare spiritual elixirs, after all. People were already posting about getting scammed at the auction house. How much worse would it be with an inner core? Thank goodness I’d built up some credibility. Otherwise, I couldn’t have blamed anyone for calling me a scammer.

'It’s not like I’ve experienced its effects myself.'

I’d benefited from eating the fish, not its inner core. Even that wasn’t certain, since I’d barely dipped a toe into mana or internal training. Heavenly Demon and several other registered users had the expertise, but they weren’t here with me. Things were happening to my body that even they couldn’t explain, so it was hard to be sure.

'Still, I know it’s had some effect.'

My strength and stamina had shot up in less than a day. Hadn’t I breezed through even the plain manual labor, like logging and digging? I didn’t know exactly why, but I’d gotten stronger through the process. That much I could guarantee.

'I’ve got time left. Should I explore the area?'

The repairs to my base were done. All I needed now was the wall from the dwarf. Before then, I’d decide where to explore first. I headed into the cave.

Inside, I found Roundfur enjoying a peaceful nap. How could something be so cute and lovable even while sleeping? I had to take pictures and post them.

A round ball of fur

Wild Grylls

(Photo of Roundfur sleeping curled into a ball)

(Video of Roundfur sleeping peacefully)

Seriously, looking at this little guy always puts me at peace. How can he be this cute?

└Wow. That really is cute, damn.

└If you still say that when it’s grown, I’ll give you credit lol.

└Don’t animals grow up fast?

└Usually fully grown within a year, I think?

└Wild Grylls Hey, you bastards. You want me stuck here for a year?

└It’s the Forest of Four Seasons. Can you even get out? lmao.

└Wild Grylls Gotta try. I’m planning to explore now.

└You’re gonna leave Roundfur alone? What if something attacks?

They had a point. Leaving Roundfur alone while I explored was too risky. I wanted to bring him with me, but he was weaker in a fight than I was. Hadn’t the speed-sloth shown up the last time I went to the river? Things had worked out because I’d come back quickly and the speed-sloth wasn’t a bad sort.

'Should I take Roundfur along?'

There was another option: leave the speed-sloth in the cave. That was honestly the best solution, though it would put me in danger instead. The speed-sloth had saved me from that chameleon snake last time. With its incredible ability to track movement and its agility, it would be useful on an expedition too.

'Tough choice.'

Should I go exploring and leave Roundfur alone? Or should I leave the speed-sloth here? After mulling it over for a while, I spoke to the creature hanging from my back.

“Speedy.”

“?”

The speed-sloth tilted its head ever so slowly at my voice.

“You’ll have to guard the cave.”

“...”

“If you keep it safe until I get back, I’ll give you a fasting pill.”

At that, the speed-sloth slowly clambered down from my back. It definitely understood me. Amazing, really. There was absolutely nothing strange about me; the speed-sloth had to be the unusual one. Roundfur understood me too, but let’s gloss over that.

Questions and answers were luxuries for when you had time to spare. When survival mattered as much as it did now, they were nothing but pointless distractions.

“When Roundfur wakes up, tell him I’ve gone out. Got it?”

The speed-sloth gave two slow nods, agreeing to my request.

With a dependable bodyguard in place, all that remained was getting ready to explore. As always, Heavenly Demon’s sword and the golden shield were all I needed. I put on clean clothes too—the ones I’d washed when I bathed Roundfur.

'Slutty Princess said she’d send something with more coverage later, right?'

I didn’t know how long that would take, but it probably wouldn’t be long. She’d readily given me even that uniform made of excellent material. I packed an Elixir and some fasting pills just in case. Now all I had to do was head out.

'Should I try this direction today?'

I’d been gradually exploring in all four directions from the cave. To the northeast was the river with the golden frogs, and to the northwest was the mature mandrakes’ habitat. Of course, I had no compass, so I couldn’t be sure those directions were right. They were just my best guesses. This time, I’d head toward what I thought was west.

'I should be back before lunch.'

After exploring, I planned to get the wall from Passing Dwarf and improve my base. My overall physical abilities had increased dramatically in less than a week. Manual labor wasn’t particularly difficult anymore. Before long, exploring would become my main daily activity.

“I’m heading out. Look after the place.”

“...”

As I left the cave, the speed-sloth slowly waved a hand at me. It was seeing me off. No matter how I looked at it, it seemed more like a person than an animal.

CHIRRR! CHIRRR!

I was heading somewhere new, toward neither the river nor the mandrakes. The loud chirping of insects pierced my ears and heightened my tension. I left markers along the way to keep from getting lost.

'I can’t take what I see at face value.'

That chameleon snake had made it impossible to let my guard down. I took every precaution, occasionally tapping trees with the back of my sword or parting the undergrowth. It slowed me down, but it would keep me safe. Even with an Elixir on hand, I needed to conserve it.

“Huh?”

As I inched forward, something caught my eye. It was so black that at first I thought it was charcoal. But with flies swarming around it, that definitely wasn’t what it was.

'It’s shit.'

Animal droppings. I didn’t know whose. Back in civilization, you could dismiss excrement as something gross and move on. In the wild, it was a different story. Animals tended to mark their territory with droppings. It was a warning of sorts: this is my turf, and you’re dead if you come in.

'The flies make it look like it’s been here a while. Is it from the owlbear?'

I wasn’t an expert, so I couldn’t identify the owner. For now, I guessed it belonged to the owlbear that had dearly departed. Apart from the size, Roundfur’s looked exactly the same. Still, asking the forum was my best bet.

'I should put a gross-content warning on it, right?'

I needed to be careful, or I might get banned. Keeping my guard up, I wrote a forum post.

Mildly gross: whose is this?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of animal droppings)

Found this exploring today. Anyone know whose shit it is?

If it’s an owlbear’s, I’ll keep exploring. If it’s something else’s, I’ll have to think about it.

└God, that’s fucking disgusting.

└Someone really unloaded lmao.

└Mix some rice into that and I’d polish off a whole bowl lol.

└Oh fuck, blocked. That’s fucking gross.

└Wild Grylls Cut the bullshit. Is it owlbear shit or not?

└Looks like it? Only owlbears shit that black.

└Not just owlbears. Regular bears do too, don’t they?

└Allfather Yes, those are owlbear droppings. Judging by the size, I suspect they belong to the specimen you killed before.

Fatheremon came through again. The only intelligent person in a crowd of morons. Since it was Allfather saying so, I could trust it. I thanked him and moved on.

I deleted the post just in case. The admin might see it and slap me with a ban. If they were flexible, it might be fine, but they could be surprisingly strict about the rules. Better safe than sorry.

'Surprised Heavenly Demon didn’t comment.'

She probably hated gross things too. Understandable. Anyway, now that the droppings had been identified as the owlbear’s, I could keep exploring.

'Oh. Wild raspberries?'

During my exploration, I found some delicious-looking berries. Plump and red, they looked exactly like wild raspberries. But this was the Forest of Four Seasons, a hellscape where even the grass was poisonous. I’d been prone to nasty plant rashes even before coming here, so I decided to ask the forum before picking them. The last thing I wanted was to carelessly eat something and die out here.

Can I eat these?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of raspberry-like berries)

They look tasty. Safe to eat?

└Aren’t those wild raspberries?

└Do wild raspberries grow in forests too?

└Aren’t they usually round? Why are those so long?

└Try them. Give us a taste review.

└Wild Grylls I’m not trusting anything you lot say.

└Then why ask?

└Wild Grylls Give me a proper explanation.

└Allfather Do not eat them. That is cobra lily, a plant whose berries are even used for suicide. They contain a potent poison.

└Wild Grylls Thank you, yikes.

└Allfather Wild raspberries are round, so they should be easy to distinguish.

└That could’ve gone really badly lmao.

└So close.

└You seriously deserve a ban.

This was why I trusted Allfather. Like a walking encyclopedia, he even gave me the finer details. I looked at the raspberry-like berries—the cobra lily—then stomped them to bits. It was a sort of trail marker, a sign that I’d passed this way. Every little thing like that mattered.

'Should I buy paint?'

Not a bad idea. It would come in handy when I strayed this far from home. I kept pushing through the forest and its trees, always taking care not to lose my way. After wandering for a while, I came across something that would make a real landmark.

“Wow. That’s huge.”

I looked up in wonder, my mouth falling open at the sight. A mushroom stood right before me.

It was no ordinary mushroom. It towered over me. Calling it giant didn’t even do it justice; it was colossal. What on earth was it?

'Looks like a matsutake.'

I should use this mushroom as a landmark from now on. I could explore the surrounding area with it as my reference point.

'There’s a lot of open space around it. Why?'

Before approaching the mushroom, I checked the surroundings. Large as it was, why was it standing there all by itself? Had it sucked up the other plants’ nutrients too? First, I needed to identify it, so I posted on the forum.

Found a fucking huge mushroom.

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a colossal mushroom)

It’s bigger than me. Compare it to the trees next to it and you’ll get the idea.

Anyone know what it is?

└Wow. About the size of my dick.

└Bullshit.

└Want me to show you?

└Fuck off, you psycho.

└Allfather That mushroom... You should be careful. It may be a mushroom man.

└Wild Gryll A mushroom man?

└Allfather Yes. A cross between a monster and a mushroom. They don’t usually grow that large, but this is the Forest of Four Seasons.

└Wild Grylls Are they strong?

└Allfather Not particularly, to be honest. They do scatter spores, though, so you’ll need fire.

Fire, huh. I nodded. I had the ignition stone Heavenly Demon had given me, but there was no need to provoke it. I wasn’t going to eat it, so why waste the effort?

I was just about to give the mushroom a wide berth when...

“Huh?”

I realized there was a cave behind it. The mushroom completely blocked the entrance, making it impossible to get in or out. A sudden curiosity struck me. What was inside?

'What is it, some dungeon gatekeeper?'

Curious or not, I valued my life. Having already been in mortal danger several times, I had no trouble giving up on the idea.

RUMBLE!

But the world refused to leave me alone. The sudden tremor startled me, but I soon realized where it was coming from. The colossal mushroom was shaking violently, as if it might uproot itself at any moment.

'Oh, for fuck’s sake.'

It always had to be like this. I slowly backed away. I had no fire going, but I planned to gauge its strength, then run. All I stood to gain from fighting it was a look inside that cave.

CRACK! CRUNCH!

At last, the earth split open, revealing the mushroom’s true form. Allfather had described a mushroom man as having tiny limbs, disproportionately short for its bloated body. He’d said the proportions should be the same even at this size.

“Kook.”

Not even close. Its arms and legs were long, like a human’s. Long limbs alone would have been fine, but they were bulging with muscles like a bodybuilder’s. Its mushroom body was elongated, while its limbs resembled a person’s. It was utterly bizarre. Beyond bizarre—it was hideous.

'... Is that its face?'

It even had narrow eyes up top. It really did look the part of a mushroom “man.” Once again, I was reminded that I’d landed in a fantasy world. Except the genre was dark fantasy. What a shitty situation.

“Kook!”

The mushroom man slowly approached, radiating hostility. Honestly, just as Allfather had said, it didn’t look all that strong... No. It looked strong. Really strong. Who could look at those sturdy limbs and call it weak?

THUD!

While I was distracted for a moment, the mushroom man sped up. It kicked off the ground and closed in on me in a flash. It seemed to have taken only a single step, yet it was already right in front of me.

That much was manageable. It wasn’t all that fast. I could see its movements and react. It was much slower than the speed-sloth.

'Let’s try blocking one hit.'

Its right fist came straight for my stomach. I raised the golden shield. Considering the shield’s quality and my recent increase in strength, I should be able to handle it.

“Kuooh!”

The mushroom man let out a mighty battle cry.

BOOOM!

“Guh?!”

A tremendous impact slammed into the shield, and my body went flying backward.

* * *

'Wow. Now I’ve seen everything...'

Back in my cave after fleeing, I lamented silently and examined the front of the golden shield. A clear imprint of a fist was dented into it. The shield was the only reason I was unhurt. Without it, that single punch would have killed me.

After that hit, I’d run without looking back. Thankfully, the mushroom man hadn’t pursued me.

'What kind of mushroom man uses a Deathfist?'

Those muscular arms and legs had given me some warning, but I hadn’t expected this much power. If I’d taken that punch directly, it would have punched a hole through my stomach. Either that or everything inside me would have come spewing out of my mouth.

I let out a relieved sigh and posted on the forum.

Got hit with a mushroom man’s Deathfist.

Wild Grylls

(Photo of a shield with a clear fist imprint)

The bastard used a Deathfist on me. Now my shield looks like this.

Thank god I had it. Otherwise, I’d have been seriously fucked.

└Whoa. Look at that imprint. If you’d taken that directly to your body, it would’ve punched through your stomach.

└Mushroom men are that strong? What the hell did it look like?

└Wild Grylls The muscles on its arms and legs were no joke. Absolutely bulging.

└Can’t picture it. Post a photo.

└Wild Grylls (Photo of a muscular mushroom man)

└LMAOOO what is that hahahaha.

└Wow lmao, it’s in better shape than me hahaha.

└Looks strong as fuck lmao.

└Can that truly be called a mushroom man?

└All Hail the Sun What happened to my shield? That thing’s seriously good quality.

└Wild Grylls So I’d have died without it? Thank you so much, bro.

└All Hail the Sun No need to thank me. Still, I’m a little surprised. What on earth did you fight?

└Wild Grylls A mushroom.

└All Hail the Sun What a strange world.

└Allfather Fascinating. Was there anything else unusual about it?

└Wild Grylls No. All I know is that it’s strong.

└Allfather Hmm... I don’t know. I truly don’t know. What on earth is that place?

Even Allfather didn’t know. The other users could only marvel at it. Apparently, this defied common sense even for people from this world. That just showed how far beyond reason the Forest of Four Seasons was—a monstrous wilderness beyond human limits. Though, to be fair, a sloth catching an arrow after it was fired was absurd too.

'Why was it blocking the cave entrance?'

Thinking of how it had guarded the place like a protective deity only made me more curious. But that mushroom man was far too strong. I couldn’t take it head-on. I’d have to use some sort of trick to get past it.

As I was organizing my thoughts, a comment caught my eye.

└Heavenly Demon An intriguing tale. A fist that can dent a shield, even one of gold. It compares favorably even to mine.

Heavenly Demon. Normally, she was the registered user who always commented first. Since she was a little late today, she must have been busy. But something else drew my attention more.

└Wild Grylls Hello, Heavenly Demon. That is you, right?

└Heavenly Demon If you are asking whether it is I, then yes. Why do you ask?

└?? Why’d you suddenly turn blue??

└Why’s that account blue all of a sudden?

└Uh, hey. Why’s that one turning blue?

Users who had noticed before I did flooded the thread with replies. Most were bewildered, and understandably so. Next to Heavenly Demon’s username was a blue badge that had never been there before.

└Heavenly Demon Ah. I forgot. From now on, address me as moderator.

Heavenly Demon had returned as a moderator.