Chapter 39 - Fireball (2)

There's a saying: if you have no teeth, use your gums. It means that when the best option is gone, you should look for the next best thing. With magic no longer an option, I needed an alternative too.

Magic, but with a little physics mixed in. Something similar to a fireball, though slightly different in nature.

POP!

I finally wrestled out the cork wedged deep into the neck of the bottle. Luckily, the dwarf had included a corkscrew with the liquor.

"Gah...!"

The moment I pulled the cork out, my face scrunched up. I didn't even know how to describe the sensation. The overpowering smell of liquor was beating the hell out of my sense of smell, barging in like hired thugs and shoving every other scent aside.

"Kraa!"

Even the speed-sloth on my back recoiled. The normally silent creature was holding its nose. This stuff really was foul.

'He gave me this to drink? It smells like poison.'

I seriously wondered about the alcohol content. It had to be sky-high. At this rate, I probably only needed to mix in a little oil.

'Should I give it a taste?'

Still, it seemed a shame to waste it, so I decided to try a sip. Even if I got drunk, it wouldn't matter. I had my internal energy cultivation method. I vaguely remembered hearing that practicing it could sober you up.

I looked at the liquor, still giving off its pungent alcoholic fumes, then quietly raised it to my lips.

GULP.

The first sip was surprisingly sweet. It had the usual alcoholic bitterness, but the sweet aroma was stronger.

'Not bad.'

I could drink this like a soft drink. That was what I thought.

For exactly two seconds.

"Huaa! Uaaaagh!"

That was odd. I'd definitely swallowed liquid, so why did my throat feel like it was on fire? Had I swallowed fire? No, had I drunk hydrochloric acid instead?

I clutched my throat in agony. Then realization struck.

That dwarf bastard had actually given me poison!

On the heels of that revelation, I felt my life was in danger. I couldn't die like this. I began groping across the floor for an Elixir, but before long the pain gradually eased. It had hurt so much that I would've used up an Elixir if it hadn't subsided.

"Ugh..."

I rubbed my still-stinging throat, tears pricking my eyes. Whatever the dwarf had given me, it wasn't liquor. It was pure poison. Why else would my throat hurt like I had acid reflux? No exaggeration, drinking straight hydrochloric acid wouldn't hurt this much.

'He can't have been crazy enough to actually give me poison.'

Did he seriously drink that stuff as liquor? My respect for him grew by leaps and bounds. With a sigh, I stepped outside for some water. Drinking from the hose finally got rid of the burning pain.

'I bet that stuff will burn on its own.'

There was probably no need to fill the bottle with oil. The muscle mushroom was still a mushroom, so it ought to catch fire easily. Filling it up and accidentally spreading the fire would be a problem.

'Let's see how well it burns first.'

Back in the cave, I splashed a little liquor onto the floor. Then I held the ignition stone to a twig I'd picked up. The dry wood caught easily. Bringing the ignition stone straight to the liquor might be dangerous, so the extra trouble was necessary.

WHOOSH!

"Oh."

It blazed up the instant I touched the flame to it. Apparently, the extremely high alcohol content made it burn well too. In that case, simply throwing the liquor should work fine.

'Come to think of it, the bottle's glass too. Excellent.'

Now that I'd confirmed it worked, all that remained was putting it together. Making a Molotov cocktail was simple, yet surprisingly tricky. One mistake and I could set myself on fire. They packed a serious punch, too. I'd heard they'd even been useful against tanks in wartime.

'First, let's get some oil.'

I planned to mix an appropriate amount of oil into the liquor. Like I'd said, who knew what would happen if I filled the whole thing with oil? At the very least, I needed to be able to put it out easily.

'And some sand.'

Sticky oil and sand sounded like the perfect combination. I got vegetable oil; they sold it at the auction house. For the sand, I just dried some of what was lying around nearby and added it.

Last came the all-important wick. This part was a little confusing.

'If it burns too fast, I'll be in danger.'

It needed to burn reasonably slowly while still catching easily. Taking all that into account, cloth was the best choice. Still, I had to test it. I bought scrap paper, old newspapers, cloth, and other flammable materials at the auction house.

'Yep, cloth is safest.'

The tests proved that cloth was the most suitable option. I immediately stuffed a scrap into the bottle's neck. Even pushing it in with chopsticks took considerable effort. Finally, I turned the bottle upside down to check for leaks. The thick fabric seemed to do the job.

Learned Fireball.

(Photo of an improvised Molotov cocktail)

From now on, call me a fire mage.

└Passing Dwarf ??? Isn't that the liquor I gave you?

└Wild Grylls Yep. Strong as fuck lmao

└Passing Dwarf Don't tell me you wasted it without even drinking any?

└Wild Grylls Nah, had a sip. Thought I was gonna die lol

└Passing Dwarf Damn, assassination almost worked

└Wild Grylls You crazy bastard lmao. You drink that as liquor? I'd rather drink rubbing alcohol.

└Passing Dwarf It's pretty expensive stuff, you know lol

└Why make a Molotov? What's it for?

└Wild Grylls Killing the mushroom man. If its body's burning, won't its spores burn up on their own too?

└That's the standard approach, yeah. Didn't expect you to make a Molotov though...

└Wild Grylls How do people usually kill them? A mage?

└Just throw a bottle of oil, then a torch. That's it. Safer too.

└Grylls is on his own, so this probably is better for him.

└Mage (physical) lmaooo

└Starlight Lady Fireball is really easy... It's not hard...

└Wild Grylls Ma'am?

└Starlight Lady It's nothing. I'm just a little disappointed. Discovering the subtleties of magic one by one feels wonderful.

└Is this magic (mathematics)?

└Magic is basically advanced math.

└What'd you mix in? Did you add oil?

└Wild Grylls About half oil, the rest liquor and sand. I'd be fucked if the fire spread.

└You're not planning to pour water on it once it's all burned, are you?

└Wild Grylls Gonna cover it with sand. I'm not that stupid.

└You know your stuff. Almost reported you for arson lol

└Wild Grylls Go ahead and report me. I'd love that lmao

└Lmaoooo

└Hahahaha

└Hahaha

└Allfather Be careful once the mushroom man catches fire. It will explode the moment it releases its spores.

└Wild Grylls I'll be careful. Are the spores especially vulnerable to fire?

└Allfather They are, but it's also instinct. Releasing offspring when one's life is in danger is an instinct of living things.

└Wild Grylls Thanks for the advice. I'll go kill it now.

└Do you really have to kill it?

└Wild Grylls Yeah, rabbits pass through there, so I have to kill it to set traps.

└Can't be helped then.

└All Hail the Sun You taking the golden shield I gave you?

└Wild Grylls I should bring it, at least. It'll block a hit.

└All Hail the Sun I'll get you a better shield later. Just wait.

└Wild Grylls It's fiiine...

└All Hail the Sun It's not fine by me.

The preparations were finished. All that remained was gearing up. I didn't need the crossbow, but I took everything else. The Molotov was rather awkward to carry, though. I needed to buy a small bag.

'Anything will do.'

I bought a small bag from the auction house, one that could hang at my waist. I stored the Molotov and Elixir inside, along with a bottle of oil just in case. I thought that was everything, but then I remembered an unexpected necessity.

'Oh. I need a shovel too.'

I'd need a shovel to smother the fire. With the sword and shield in either hand and the shovel on my back, I was done. Time to go kill the muscle mushroom.

"Look after the place."

"..."

I left the house in the care of the speed-sloth, which had climbed off my back at some point, and set off. Roundfur was still napping without a care as I left. He was cute, so I'd let it slide. Everything was ready. I walked on, feeling a little nervous.

Once I killed the muscle mushroom, I'd be able to set traps and catch the small animals around there. While I was at it, I could inspect the cave it had been blocking too.

'What's inside, I wonder?'

Honestly, traps aside, I was curious about the cave. There had to be a reason the muscle mushroom was blocking it.

'It's not a dungeon or something, is it? With the mushroom literally guarding the entrance?'

If it was, this would be no different from stirring up a hornet's nest. Hadn't people always said curiosity killed the cat? Half anxious and half excited, I headed toward the muscle mushroom.

RUSTLE.

Something sprang out of the bushes along the way. Long ears and an adorably cute appearance.

"Squeak?"

A rabbit. A rabbit had suddenly appeared. The moment it saw me, it arched its back high, its long ears standing up as well. It was clearly wary, though the way its mouth kept twitching was adorable.

"Hey, come on. Go away. Shoo. Shoo."

I wasn't planning to hunt right now, so I gave it a few light nudges with my sword. Had even that felt threatening to the rabbit?

CLANG!

It kicked the sword hard—not the edge, but the flat of the blade. As the clear ringing sound suggested, the blow packed considerable force. Enough to knock me off balance and make me stagger.

"What the..."

I stared in open bewilderment as the rabbit fled into the bushes. One kick had nearly knocked me over. Apparently even the rabbits were different in the Forest of Four Seasons. If that kick landed on me, wouldn't it at least crack a bone?

'What the hell kind of forest is this?'

Now even the rabbits were dangerous. Unbelievable. I'd have to choose particularly lethal traps, or that rabbit would just smash them all. My head was already hurting, but the mushroom hunt came first.

"... Found it."

Following the familiar path, I reached the muscle mushroom. It was still stationed in front of the cave like a gatekeeper. It wouldn't wake up as long as I didn't approach. Carefully, I took the Molotov out of my bag.

CRACKLE!

I lit the wick with the ignition stone, and it began to burn fiercely. I watched the muscle mushroom, which still hadn't moved a muscle. Apparently, it really did only get up when someone came close.

"Hyaa!"

With a loud cry, I hurled the Molotov hard. It spun through the air, tracing rings of flame. Even as the bottle flew toward it, the muscle mushroom remained rooted to the ground.

CRASH!

A moment later, the Molotov struck the mushroom's body and shattered.

WHOOOSH!

A huge blaze began engulfing the entire mushroom. The flammable oil and liquor fed the flames while the sand clung stickily to its body.

"Kuuuuuu!"

Sensing the danger, the muscle mushroom began pulling its limbs out of the ground. I seized the opening and charged in as planned. The flames were hot, but I only needed to do this once. I could manage.

SLICE!

Before it could pull one leg free, I cut it off with my sword. No matter how muscular it was, losing a leg would make it fall.

THUD!

The one-legged muscle mushroom toppled to the ground. The flames burned even more fiercely.

POP-POP-BOOM!

"Aagh!"

Then, without warning, a small explosion erupted. Thankfully, I was far enough away, or I would've been caught in it. It was only firework-sized, but burns could be fatal.

'It released its spores.'

Allfather's warning had been right on the mark. It must have released spores to spread its offspring, only for them all to explode in the flames. The creature flailed for a while, finally growing still as the fire spread over its entire body. Perhaps because it was a mushroom, the burning smell wasn't unpleasant. It was actually rather fragrant.

'Doesn't mean I'm going to eat it.'

Thanks to the strategy I'd worked out beforehand, the kill had been easy. Still, I would wait a little longer to make sure it was dead.

CRACKLE! SNAP!

After a while, the muscle mushroom was charred black, and the flames began to die down. Deciding that was enough, I took the shovel off my back and covered it with sand, extinguishing the fire completely.

'Something might come for the smell.'

The pleasant aroma might attract animals. After considering what to do, I decided to move the mushroom out of the way.

'There might still be embers, so I'll push it somewhere with less grass.'

I shoved it into a corner with the shovel. Even if an animal came, it would be more interested in the mushroom than the cave.

With the cleanup finished, I peered into the cave the muscle mushroom had been guarding. The sunlight didn't reach it at this angle, leaving the interior pitch-dark. I could see ahead without trouble even in the dark, but I'd need a torch for a proper inspection.

'Good thing I brought some cloth.'

I picked up a large branch from the ground, wrapped it in cloth, and lit it with the ignition stone.

WHOOSH!

The torch instantly brightened the cave's interior. Overall, it was similar to the place I lived in. With plenty of room overhead and on every side, it felt comfortable.

'Not ba—'

I stopped short while looking around the cave. Thanks to the torch, I could make out what lay at the far end. It wasn't a dangerous beast. It had simply caught my eye so vividly that I'd flinched.

It glittered and gleamed.

"... A mushroom?"

A golden mushroom was radiating brilliant light.

'Is it poisonous?'

Nobody would look at that and want to eat it.