Chapter 4 - Crisis (1)

Why was the Messiah Empire called an “empire”? There were several reasons, but they were simple: it had the most land, plenty of money, and an immensely powerful military.

Military strength inevitably depended heavily on individual prowess, and the empire possessed no less than a swordmaster.

What was a swordmaster? A monster at the pinnacle of swordsmanship, considered not merely a tactical weapon but a strategic one. Swordmasters were famed for splitting the earth with one slash and cleaving a mountain with the next.

The presence of a swordmaster was precisely why other nations couldn't challenge the empire lightly.

Are swordmasters supposed to be rare?

I thought they used to be everywhere

└Yeah, back in the day

└Why not now?

└Ashe's gatekeeping everyone. Says anyone weaker than her doesn't get to call themselves a swordmaster lmao

└Fuck, is she the ceiling? lmao

└Lmaooo

└Old sword saint = current swordmaster

└Do races other than humans have swordmasters?

└Yeah they do. Ashe just wrecked them all

└Is she even human? lol

Indeed. The empire wasn't actually the only nation with someone at the swordmaster level. Its swordmaster was simply the strongest. Overwhelmingly so.

Ashe Menethil, the empire's swordmaster, was renowned as the greatest swordfighter of the age.

She was famous not only for her strength but for her beauty, with snow-white hair and blue eyes. That beauty had blossomed early, stealing countless men's hearts. Naturally, marriage proposals had poured in even when she was young.

“I'll marry a man stronger than me!”

Unable to stand it any longer, fifteen-year-old Ashe made her declaration. Everyone accepted it.

Anyone who wanted that beauty and strength would have to defeat her. Once she came of age, of course.

Three years passed. She came of age full of anticipation, but no man appeared who could defeat her.

Five years passed. She was nearing the end of her prime marriageable years and growing anxious, but she waited patiently.

Ten years passed. Her family raised hell, begging her to get married. That was when she began to sense something had gone wrong.

??: I'll marry a man stronger than me

Fifteen years have passed since then. No man has appeared who can defeat her.

└She's a middle-aged lady now lmaooo wait someone's knocking at my door

└Only the cold remains of this comment

└What happens if you call Ashe middle-aged to her face?

└Dunno, but some kid heard her age and teased her about being an old lady lol

└Can't an elf or a demon take her?

└No one's definitively stronger than Ashe lol

└Also humans are surprisingly strong. Their floor is fucking low, but their ceiling is fucking high

└Holy shit, how strong is she?

Fifteen years passed. Her skills kept improving, but no man appeared who could defeat her.

She had even undergone a complete bodily transformation, retaining the beauty of her twenties despite being in her thirties. Yet she was so far past the usual age for marriage that few men readily approached her.

Of course, some men were captivated enough by her looks to propose. The problem was that every one of them was weaker than her.

She refused to surrender this last shred of pride, this one conviction. So she held out, and held out some more.

Men found women stronger than themselves intimidating too, so they understood her position.

“This can't go on.”

She couldn't keep waiting longingly forever. Ashe began training disciples herself.

She would personally raise boys who showed promise. Surely one of them would work out.

Not a single one did. They all lost to Ashe and married other women. People generally married young, so they all ran off before they could reach her level.

“I'll share everything I know on the forum.”

Feeling the pressure, she painstakingly posted her swordsmanship expertise on the forum, hoping to create a virtuous cycle.

It actually worked, raising the general standard of skill across the continent. At this rate, some kingdom or other was bound to produce a man stronger than Ashe.

Wouldn't that cause problems for international relations? Her marriage prospects were completely blocked. International relations could go fuck themselves.

Yet still no man appeared who could defeat her. Instead, mass-produced swordmasters just kept multiplying.

To make matters worse, Ashe kept getting stronger even when she did nothing but breathe.

“Why? Why isn't there anyone? Why the hell not?!”

Ashe couldn't understand. How could there be so little talent?

Despite all her desperate efforts, no man appeared who could defeat her. As she examined what on earth was wrong, she finally realized something.

“I get stronger just by breathing? Are you kidding me?!”

Yes. She had been hailed as a gift from heaven, but she was really a disaster sent by heaven.

A prodigy who accumulated mana in her body simply by breathing and could naturally channel it into her sword.

Had she trained consistently instead of obsessing over marriage, she would have become a grand swordmaster at an early age.

But Ashe already came up in every discussion of the continent's strongest. She didn't need any more strength.

“Freaking hell. My life.”

It all felt pointless. A crushing sense of disillusionment swept over her.

In the end, Ashe threw aside every position she held and withdrew into seclusion. The emperor begged her to stay, but she brushed aside every plea.

She did say he was welcome to use her name whenever he wished, but there was something to be said for having a public face.

Her presence alone could shake the empire. It was a fresh reminder of her immense stature.

And so, a total of twenty years after her declaration, the reclusive Ashe was...

“Ehehehe.”

Lying in bed, eating a banana. She snickered like an idiot.

Her snow-white hair was tied in a messy bun, and she wore comfortable layabout clothes. With her round glasses completing the look, she was the very picture of an unemployed bum.

These days, she spent her happy(?) days diligently lurking on the forum.

SMACK!!

“Ow!”

“You little bitch! Didn't I tell you to go outside?!”

A vicious spike of a slap struck her back as she endlessly browsed the forum. Ashe's body was as hard as iron, yet for some reason, it stung.

“Look at your sister! Thirty years old and having another baby! That makes five, five! You were captain of the Imperial Guard, so why can't you get married?!”

“Ugh, Mom...”

That was only natural: the beating was full of love. Rubbing her stinging back, Ashe looked at her mother.

Though her face bore many wrinkles, her features resembled Ashe's. She was a beauty who must have turned plenty of heads in her prime.

Ashe was already in her thirties, but her mother had given birth to her at nineteen. By the standards of the era, that was normal.

“What am I supposed to do? There's no man I like...”

“Then lower your standards! Where in the world are you going to find a man stronger than you?!”

“...”

Ashe had no response to her mother's criticism. It was half right, after all.

Even among all the races, Ashe was exceptionally strong. Stronger than elves and demons, even.

Of course, there had to be a man stronger than her somewhere in the world. She just hadn't found him.

“Good grief. You're driving your mother mad, absolutely mad. What good is being a swordmaster or whatever? You're thirty-five and still unmarried! I'm in my mid-fifties now. Please listen to me!”

“Well... my sister married well, didn't she? Mom, we're nobles. Nobles.”

Ashe's family had originally been commoners. When she became the continent's greatest swordfighter, they had risen in status.

Her title was no less than countess! Considering that marquesses were border lords, the emperor had bestowed the highest title he could.

Her younger sister was also beautiful and had married well. The fact that she had five children spoke to the affection between her and her husband.

Unlike her older sister, she'd found her perfect match. How enviable.

“What good is that when my eldest is in this sorry state?! At least go outside and get some exercise!”

“But I get stronger just by breathing...”

“You expect me to believe that nonsense?! Out, now!”

“Yes, ma'am!”

No matter how old children grew, they were still children in their parents' eyes. At her mother's shout, Ashe scrambled out of bed.

She picked up a practice sword and headed out of the mansion. Or rather, she pretended to head outside, then turned back.

Training was a nuisance. With a body that grew stronger just by breathing, she saw no need for it.

'I'll just make a post.'

Back in bed, she opened the forum. What she did there was simple.

You Can Do It Too! Advanced Swordsmanship Lesson 15

Sword Masta

Today's advanced lesson covers parrying. What is parrying, you ask...

Posting swordsmanship tips on the forum. It was her daily routine.

Originally, she'd shared her expertise to raise the continent's general standard of skill. Now it felt like a job.

She hadn't been all that absorbed in the forum at first. She'd only lurked now and then.

But after belatedly discovering the nature of her body, she'd fallen head over heels into it, driven by a strange sort of despair that the world had deceived her.

└What do you think about quick-draw sword techniques?

└Sword Masta: Learn the basics instead of practicing that nonsense.

└But they're cool

└Sword Masta: Do them once you're a swordmaster.

└But a swordmaster's strong no matter what they do lmao

She encountered the occasional moron, but Ashe kept her replies civil.

Why was she so polite on a forum where everyone aired their desires without shame?

'I have to do at least this much to keep them from suspecting me.'

Because of what Ashe was like in person. She had a rather boisterous personality.

It had helped her get along with all sorts of nobles despite her common birth, but none of that mattered now.

Besides, she'd been using the forum for far too long. Her activity paled in comparison with the true addicts, but she'd been around for ages.

She was a long-standing regular. What's more, posting her swordsmanship tips had even raised suspicions.

'I'd rather kill myself than die of embarrassment.'

There was always a chance she'd be found out, so she'd deliberately adopted a restrained, courteous tone.

For the same reason, she never included photos or videos in her swordsmanship posts.

Perhaps being a genius among geniuses extended to writing as well. Her way with words was remarkable enough that it wasn't a problem.

“Ugh. I want to get married.”

Ashe muttered as she vigorously scratched her firm abs. Even long past the usual marriageable age, she hadn't given up.

She was willing to accept challengers, if there were any. It was the empire that turned them away because she was in seclusion.

With the forum as her window on the world, she knew nothing about that.

'I wonder if this one's strong?'

Browsing the forum, she inevitably came across people who showed promise or discussed strength.

There were a few she'd wanted to meet in person, but it usually didn't take long to expose their limitations.

└How the fuck do you dodge that? Are you kidding?

└Sword Masta: Why can't you dodge it? Flexibility is essential, yet you don't even know that. So you were just an all-talk worm.

└Absolutely nuked him lmaooo

Something like that. Most of them were garbage even at theory. Or at least fell short.

But not everyone was an idiot. There was one well-known user who had caught Ashe's eye.

'Just how strong is this Heavenly Demon?'

Heavenly Demon was always shitting out posts. Other users treated her as just another forum regular.

Ashe had too, at first. But every so often, Heavenly Demon posted something with profound implications for martial arts.

Others scoffed. Ashe didn't. In fact, she hated Heavenly Demon several times more than anyone else did.

'I got even stronger because of this asshole...'

Genius recognized genius. Heavenly Demon's posts had influenced Ashe considerably.

It was like having enlightenment forcibly injected into her. Every time she read Heavenly Demon's posts, the mana in her body increased noticeably.

And it wasn't just once or twice. At first, she'd dismissed it as a fluke, but after it happened several times, she realized the truth.

That asshole Heavenly Demon was thoughtlessly scattering her insights everywhere. The funny thing was, most users had no idea what they were worth.

'Judging by how she talks, she's definitely a woman...'

If Heavenly Demon were a man, Ashe would have done whatever it took to track him down in person. Anyone who'd attained insights like these had to be a powerful fighter.

But the feminine way she referred to herself, not to mention her speech, marked her as a woman. A fairly elderly one, at that. Certainly older than Ashe.

'... Not that I'm one to talk.'

Ashe, too, had freely scattered her swordsmanship expertise across the forum. Swordsmanship was normally a closely guarded affair.

But by distributing techniques anyone could easily learn, she'd raised everyone's skills across the board.

The nation that benefited most was the empire's eternal rival, the Iris Kingdom.

It had originally been a country whose mages outclassed its knights, but thanks to Ashe sabotaging her own side, its knights had caught up to the average.

[“Bring me this Sword Masta at once!!”]

[“Your Majesty, it is impossible to ascertain the identities of forum users.”]

[“Y-you...! Why...! Urgh...! Ack!”]

[“Y-Your Majesty!”]

Naturally, the emperor had exploded with rage, but he had no way to catch the user.

That was one reason Ashe had quit as captain of the guard. How could she stay when she felt so guilty?

If the empire ran into trouble, the emperor would have to come to her himself, leaving Ashe free to enjoy a comfortable life.

Heavenly Demon Is a God

Wild Grylls

(A photo of dead dogs on the ground and a sword gripped tightly in one hand)

And this sword is invincible.

“Hm?”

She was busy exploring the forum out of her mother's sight when a registered user caught her interest.

It was the person who'd claimed to have suddenly woken up in a forest. She'd assumed it was the usual nonsense.

But then the user had obtained some herb called New Moon Spirit Grass or whatever, and the forum had erupted.

That was when she'd taken a little interest. Just who was this person?

'Is New Moon Spirit Grass really that good?'

For the record, Ashe didn't know what New Moon Spirit Grass was. Her body had no need for elixirs.

Then Wild Grylls had encountered cow-sized mad dogs. Ashe had wondered how things would turn out, and now two of them had been killed.

'Those cuts are... incredibly clean.'

Ashe looked surprised. Interest lit her blue eyes behind her round glasses.

Even in a photograph, she could see how clean the cut surfaces were. No matter how good the blade, most people couldn't even slice tofu without leaving a wavy edge.

There was no wavering here. The user claimed to be an ordinary person, which only made it more intriguing.

Above all...

└Sword Masta: If you have nothing else to do, would you be interested in learning swordsmanship? You seem to have talent.

└Heavenly Demon: Impudence! I shall personally impart a secret manual to this one! How dare you!

Heavenly Demon was taking an interest. The very same Heavenly Demon who'd been too busy churning out shitposts!

She kept shielding the user as if to say she'd already staked her claim and everyone else should keep their hands off.

All without realizing it only made the user more intriguing.

'Well, look at you.'

Ashe flashed a toothy grin. This just made her want to tease Heavenly Demon more.

Heavenly Demon, famous for doing her own thing, was reacting like this? Ashe wanted to tease her even more.

And she might as well learn more about Wild Grylls while she was at it. Ashe waited for another post.

Found a cave. Should I go in?

Wild Grylls

(A photo of a dark cave entrance)

It's getting dark and I need somewhere to rest. Should I go in? What if there's a bear?

└Better pray it's a bear. Could be a dungeon lmao

└Wild Grylls: What comes out of dungeons?

└Dunno lol

└Wild Grylls: You little shit

└Real-life loot box lmaooo

She'd thought it was an act at first, but apparently this person really was living in the wild.

There were plenty of posts now and then from adventurers roaming the world. But none were as unequipped as Wild Grylls.

└Don't Abandon the Hero: There are no torches, so it's not a dungeon! But throw a stone inside, just in case!

└Wild Grylls: And if a monster jumps out?

└Don't Abandon the Hero: You'll have to fight it!

└Wild Grylls: Easy for you to say, admin, you're strong... I'll try it anyway

Five minutes passed.

This cave is mine now

Wild Grylls

(A photo of a surprisingly cozy cave interior and a thumbs-up)

I can do whatever I want with it

└Nobody there?

└Wild Grylls: Nope, but it's a bit damp

└Don't Abandon the Hero: Be careful! The owner might come back later!

└Wild Grylls: I'm tired, gonna sleep for now

Somehow, the user seemed to have found a cave to stay in for a day or so. Ashe chuckled.

This was oddly entertaining. After watching idiots post nonsense day in and day out, it was a different kind of fun.

But none of it would matter if the user died. She should suggest reading her posts later.

'What would someone need to survive?'

She wasn't sure. If Wild Grylls needed something, she could provide it then.

Perhaps Wild Grylls really had gone to sleep, because no more posts appeared. Ashe kept browsing the forum.

It might be nighttime where Wild Grylls was, but it was daytime in the empire. She still had plenty of energy.

Then the sun sank toward the horizon, and evening had just begun when...

Someone help. Urgent.

“Huh?”

Wild Grylls had made a post. It looked ominous right from the start.

Ashe opened the post at the very top. What on earth was wrong?

“Eek?”

What she saw gave her a terrible shock.

Someone help. Urgent.

(A photo of a bleeding right arm riddled with holes)

(A photo of the mad dog pack leader from earlier, dead with its head cut off)

Fuck, this was that bastard's cave. I'm losing so much blood. Can anyone help?

Wild Grylls's right arm was mangled. Severely.

It wasn't merely punctured. The bone was exposed. Blood loss was a more pressing concern than infection.

└Oh fuck, put a gore warning on this

└Wild Grylls: I'm fucking dying here and that's what you have to say?

└Why should I care? lol

└But isn't this seriously dangerous?

An emergency had arisen.