Chapter 40 - The Swindler (1)

I stared at the mushroom sparkling with golden light. Even with the torch out, it gave off a golden glow of its own. Apparently, this was what the muscle mushroom had been guarding.

'That looks poisonous at first glance.'

It was simplest to assume most mushrooms were poisonous. And brightly colored plants and animals were poisonous nine times out of ten. That made this golden mushroom extremely likely to contain poison.

'It sure is fascinating, though.'

I slowly approached the golden mushroom. Up close, I realized it was much bigger than I had expected. Only a little smaller than the fish I'd caught before—pretty huge for a mushroom.

'It really looks like something that mustached character would eat.'

The plumber character in overalls suddenly came to mind. Would eating this mushroom make him bigger or stronger? Maybe he could just run into monsters and send them flying.

Even while entertaining those pointless thoughts, I kept my guard up. It might start moving like the muscle mushroom earlier. Fortunately, the golden mushroom didn't leap to its feet. It simply sparkled.

'What on earth is this thing?'

I kept watching my back as I examined the mushroom. For safety's sake, it would be better to pick it and head back.

'Better put on gloves, just in case.'

I put on the gloves I'd tucked into my pocket. It was big enough to require both hands, but that wasn't a problem. I could hang the sword at my waist and carry the shovel and shield on my back.

'Come to think of it, I need a scabbard.'

Swords usually came with their own scabbards, but Heavenly Demon's hadn't. Either it had never had one, or she'd forgotten to include it. We were going to trade fasting pills soon, so I could ask her in a one-on-one chat.

It wouldn't budge.

"Huh?"

My eyes widened. It must have been firmly rooted, because it wouldn't come out. No, wait. As far as I knew, mushrooms didn't have roots. It simply wouldn't come out.

"Graaaagh!"

POP!

Only after mustering every bit of strength did I finally manage to pull it free. The recoil nearly sent me falling, but I just barely caught my balance. Looking down at where I'd pulled it out, I saw a round hole.

'Has it been growing here for a long time?'

It seemed to have been there long enough to leave a hole in solid stone. Holding the golden mushroom in both hands, I cautiously headed outside.

A savory aroma tickled my nose as I emerged. It came from the blackened muscle mushroom.

'Let's hurry.'

I picked up the pace before any animals could show up. I would have liked to poke through the remains with Heavenly Demon's sword, but indulging any more curiosity could put my life at risk. Better resist.

A sharp pain stabbed through my head.

The headache struck out of nowhere as I hurried along. I grimaced at the sudden pain, but this wasn't something I could simply dismiss.

'What's going on?'

I kept moving despite my scowl. The headache soon disappeared, but I couldn't shake my unease. Maybe the golden mushroom was to blame. I'd better hurry back to the hideout.

'At least nothing attacked me.'

Once I reached the hideout, I examined the golden mushroom again. It really was enormous. I was curious about what it actually did, too. I took a photo and posted it on the forum.

Anyone know this mushroom?

Wild Grylls

(Photo of the golden mushroom beside a hand for scale)

Found this in the cave the muscle mushroom was blocking.

It's glowing a brilliant gold. That means it's poisonous, right? It's seriously huge, too.

└Starlight Lady That's a pretty mushroom. But you're better off not eating mushrooms.

└Wild Grylls I only brought it back because it looked interesting. I have absolutely no intention of eating it.

└Eat it and I'll give you 100 billion yura lol

└I'll throw in 100,000 gold lol

└Starlight Lady You people are so mean.

└All Hail the Sun Look at that glorious glow. You found it in a cave?

└Wild Grylls Yes. It was hard to pull out, too.

└All Hail the Sun Doesn't that practically scream "I'm poisonous"?

└Wild Grylls That's why I'm thinking of just keeping it as a decoration.

└All Hail the Sun Not bad for decoration.

Everyone found the golden mushroom fascinating. But all they said was that it looked pretty; nobody seemed to know what it was. That left only Allfather...

└Allfather Hoho. You've found another peculiar specimen.

└Wild Grylls Do you know what this mushroom is?

└Allfather Of course I do. Throw it away immediately.

└Wild Grylls Huh?

His comment told me to throw it away at once. Naturally, I was puzzled. The comments Allfather left next came as quite a shock.

└Allfather Did you experience any headaches or dizziness while bringing it back?

└Wild Grylls I had a slight headache, but it went away immediately.

└Allfather The medicine I gave you must have worked. Merely approaching it should cause symptoms.

└Wild Grylls What on earth is this mushroom?

└Allfather Its name is quite ordinary. It's called a golden mushroom, one of the rarest mushrooms, also known as the king of mushrooms.

Just what I'd expect from the Forest of Four Seasons, home to every imaginable sort of flora and fauna. The king of mushrooms, no less. I wondered what exactly made it a king.

└Wild Grylls Isn't being the king a good thing?

└Allfather Whatever it might mean for other things, for this mushroom it has both positive and negative implications. Which would you like first?

└Wild Grylls Tell me the negatives first.

└Allfather A single bite will dissolve all your internal organs. Your bones and muscles, too.

└Wild Grylls ;;;

Just hearing that was horrifying. Not only my bones and muscles, but even my organs would dissolve? Drinking a whole bucket of hydrochloric acid probably wouldn't do that much. That was how terrifyingly toxic it was. Naturally, I backed away.

└Wild Grylls What about the positives?

└Allfather If you're lucky, those dissolved organs, bones, and muscles can regenerate. Beyond simple restoration, your body itself will improve by several stages.

└Isn't that a complete transformation?

└Sounds like it, doesn't it?

└Allfather It isn't merely a complete transformation. According to legend, you can gain the body of a god.

└Wild Grylls Whoa.

So there was a reason it was the king of mushrooms. High risk, high reward. Which meant I wasn't eating it. There was no reason I had to. Just imagining my entire body dissolving made me feel faint.

└Allfather It would be dangerous even for someone completely immune to poison. I recommend throwing it away.

└Wild Grylls Poison resistance doesn't help?

└Allfather According to legend, the odds are fifty-fifty, as I understand it. It makes no distinction between people.

└Wild Grylls I'd better throw it away, then. Or would you like it for research?

└Why not give it to us?

└I'll eat it and test it for you, yep

└Don't you value your life?

└My life's already fucked. Might as well try it lol

└How's your life fucked?

└Went all in on Kaspel Mine stocks and lost everything.

└Why, what happened?

└Mine collapsed

└Oh;;; Hang in there

└Heavenly Demon Intriguing, but it does seem dangerous. It holds little appeal for me, either.

└Sword Masta Scared?

└Heavenly Demon Hmm. I suddenly feel the urge to bring down the banhammer.

└Sword Masta Sorry;;

└Lmaooo already got a taste for power

└Isn't this going to give her bad habits?

└The admin will handle it.

└Passing Dwarf Can't you make liquor with it?

└Wild Grylls Don't think mushrooms would work. Someone died drinking water mushrooms had been boiled in.

└Passing Dwarf Who was that? What a fucking idiot.

└Wild Grylls My dad, you shithead.

└Passing Dwarf Oh. I'm really sorry;;

└Wild Grylls Kidding lol My dad died in an accident.

└Passing Dwarf You shithead.

└Passing Dwarf No, no;; Sorry. I'm just sorry;;

└Lmaoooo

└Lmaooo

└Snapped out of it right after swearing at him lmaooo

└Panic mode lmaooo

└All Hail the Sun Can't you use it for decoration?

└Wild Grylls Apparently just being near it causes headaches and dizziness.

└All Hail the Sun Put it behind glass. I really like that golden color.

└Allfather Pardon me, but I believe studying it would be more worthwhile. If you give it to me, I will compensate you generously.

└All Hail the Sun I can be generous, too. How much money do you need?

└Wild Grylls Don't really need money, tho...

Money was one thing I had in abundance. The owlbear carcass alone had left me comfortably well-off. The problem was that even with all that money, I couldn't buy what I needed. All Hail the Sun seemed to realize this, too, and immediately replied.

└All Hail the Sun True, come to think of it. Is there anything you want?

└Wild Grylls I want to get out.

└All Hail the Sun Uh... Sorry. Can't help with that. Just give it to that mage.

└Allfather I have nothing suitable to offer you, either. Is there anything you need?

I couldn't put the golden mushroom up for auction, either. I didn't want to hear the next day that someone had eaten it and died. Selling it for money was awkward, too. The risk was too great. It was too good to throw away, but no use to me. After some thought, I typed a reply.

└Wild Grylls Armor, if you have any? That should do.

└Sword Masta Good idea. Since you're in a forest, leather armor would be better than iron.

└Heavenly Demon Rather than that, why not learn protective force?

└Wild Grylls How do I use that?

└Sword Masta Grylls can't even use an aura blade yet. It'll be a long time before he can use an aura shield.

Heavenly Demon It is sword force, not an aura blade. And protective force, not an aura shield.

└Sword Masta Same thing. Do you have to nitpick?

There they went again. Why were these two always at each other's throats? But as everyone knew, Heavenly Demon was now a moderator. And moderators had banning privileges.

└Heavenly Demon What was that? It sounds to me as though you are asking for the banhammer.

└Sword Masta Ugh, damn;; You're seriously going too far. Admin, are you seeing this?

└Don't Abandon the Hero Moderator! Please show a little restraint!

└Heavenly Demon Hmm. Very well. In my great generosity, I shall overlook it.

└Sword Masta ;;;

└Slutty Princess Huh? Why do you need armorrr? I gave you a uniform.

└Wild Grylls This provides protection?

└Slutty Princess I'm hurt! Uniforms developed in Mephisto outperform leather armor, you know!

└Wild Grylls Really?

└It's true. Some people even wear uniforms into dungeons lol

└Expensive, but more practical and effective than leather armor.

└Wild Grylls Why's that?

└Because so many people stab you

└To protect the players. Watch sports and it's basically a small battlefield.

└You'd probably be fine even after a magic arrow hits you lol

└Wild Grylls ;;;

Apparently, cultural advancement aside, this era still had its share of barbarism. Just to be sure, I fetched another uniform. Heavenly Demon's sword would be too much, so I used an ordinary dagger.

I dragged the blade across it again and again.

"Oh?"

The uniform remained intact despite my repeated slashes. To make sure, I stretched it taut and stabbed it with the dagger. Still intact. It was perfect for me.

'Animals are one thing, but in a forest, little cuts can be even more dangerous.'

Even the tiniest wound could cause serious trouble if poison or germs got into it. Still, however well it performed, the uniform was too thin. Layering leather armor over it would offer better protection.

└Wild Grylls The uniform really is good. But I think I'll still need leather armor, just in case. It's too thin.

└Slutty Princess Then how about layering several uniforms?

└Wild Grylls Are you a genius?

└Slutty Princess Hehe, I'm pretty smart.

└Sure. Still a moron who supports Chae U lol

└Just wear the uniform lol You'll get one-shot no matter what you wear anyway.

└One hit and off to Aragon you go~

In the end, uniforms replaced the extra armor, too. I then tried to give Slutty Princess the mushroom, but she refused immediately. She didn't want to buy it even for decoration and said she'd simply give me a few more uniforms.

'I keep taking and taking from her.'

She said supporting her team was enough, but I still felt bad. If I found something good in the future, I'd give it to her, no question.

Anyway, I put off deciding what to do with the golden mushroom. It was so risky that there was no easy answer.

'Roundfur might eat it...'

I'd better keep it as far out of sight as possible. Its golden color would make it stand out anywhere, but I had a place in mind.

I stored it in the box that had come with the dwarf's last delivery. Then I put the box outside the cave so Roundfur's keen nose wouldn't pick up the scent. The Elixir was stored in a different box, so there was no real problem. If I ran short of boxes, I could simply buy more at the auction house.

'Good. That takes care of that.'

With the golden mushroom dealt with, I looked up. The sun was beginning to sink, if only a little. It was about time to prepare for night.

'There might be spores on my clothes. I'd better wash right away.'

Another day drew to a close.

* * *

Deep into the night, everyone slept. Only the chirping of insects filled the forest. Inside the cave, a campfire crackled faintly. Beyond it came the soft breathing of a human, the breathing of animals. Each slept in their own way. All was peaceful.

RATTLE! RATTLE!

A clumsy noise broke the quiet peace. It came not from inside the cave, but outside—from the box sitting there. The box kept rattling until, before long, it toppled onto its side.

Its contents tumbled out and rolled across the ground: a mushroom glowing gold even in the dark of night.

With a smooth motion, the golden mushroom that had fallen on its side astonishingly rose upright. Tiny arms and legs that hadn't been visible before now sprouted from its body. Compared to the muscle mushroom's, these limbs were pitifully small and cute. But having limbs meant it could move.

The golden mushroom scurried into the dark forest on its short little legs, slipping away so stealthily that no one could find it. Until it disappeared entirely, only quiet breathing could be heard from the cave.

Time passed, and morning dawned.

"What? Where's the mushroom?"

Grylls belatedly realized the mushroom was gone. He'd sensed something was wrong the moment he saw the overturned box outside. He checked it at once, and lo and behold—the golden mushroom he'd stored inside had vanished.

"N-no way...!"

His eyes widened. He thought he knew why the mushroom had disappeared. Abandoning his search through the box, he rushed into the cave.

"Roundfur! Open your mouth!"

"Kyuu...?"

"What did you eat yesterday? You didn't eat that mushroom, did you?!"

Poor innocent Roundfur had its beak pried open by Grylls. Fortunately, the cub hadn't eaten the mushroom. It had simply slept without a care in the world. After checking everything, Grylls breathed a sigh of relief. He didn't bother inspecting the speed-sloth. Its instincts were so good that it hadn't even gone near the mushroom.

But along with his relief came a question.

"Seriously, where did it go? It's not like it had feet."

It actually had. Grylls simply hadn't known.

Such were the mysteries of the Forest of Four Seasons.