Chapter 49 - Shoes (1)

After the whole commotion with the leech, I hurriedly posted on the forum, asking what to do about a leech bite and explaining that I'd accidentally ripped the one on the back of my neck straight off.

The ever-so-kind veteran adventurers told me how to deal with it.

└What the fuck? Why would you pull a leech off like that? Are you that desperate to get an infection?

└Wild Grylls: Me just a clueless little monkey...

└Whatever. If you have a potion, put it on the bite. Take a dewormer too, in case you caught parasites.

└Wild Grylls: I have an Elixir, not a potion. That's fine, right? Do Elixirs disinfect too? I know they regenerate things.

└Just put it on;; What kind of weird question is that;;

└Elixirs are literally the upgrade to potions lmao

└Feels like watching a rich newbie lol

└If you pulled a leech off barehanded, you've definitely got guts.

└There might still be teeth stuck in there, so remove those before applying it.

Only after receiving their affectionate(?) advice could I treat it properly. Normally, I'd have needed a dewormer too, but they said an Elixir alone would suffice.

Next time I came here, I would need to wrap something around my neck.

'Why am I putting myself through all this?'

I sighed. At least I hadn't come away empty-handed. That was some consolation.

Once I got back to the cave, I'd have plenty to do: dry my wet clothes and shoes, make food, and more. I'd wanted to install the fish trap too, if possible, but my soaked shoes would make that difficult.

'I absolutely need new shoes.'

I was currently wearing sneakers—the ones I'd had on before being dropped here. You might ask why I'd been wearing shoes when I'd been at home right up until then.

I had no idea about that part. All I remembered was drinking.

'Should I count myself lucky?'

Still, at least I had sneakers. I trudged on in my soggy footwear. The farther back I went, the narrower the river became and the stronger the current grew.

Only when I finally reached the stretch where I'd installed the hose did it sink in that I was back.

'I really went a long way this time.'

I opened the forum to check the time. It was 12:20 p.m. It hadn't taken as long as I'd expected.

I'd spent more time walking along the river than exploring the lakeshore.

'Roundfur must be wanting food.'

Or maybe the cub was anxious because I'd disappeared. That thought made me pick up the pace.

When I finally reached the cave, which now felt like home, I got a clear view.

"Cooo..."

"..."

Of Roundfur, sprawled out asleep with that belly fully exposed. Scratching it with those claws, no less.

Whether I disappeared or not, the cub was perfectly happy napping.

"..."

"... What, punk? What are you looking at?"

The speed-sloth was just sitting there looking vacant.

I couldn't help sighing. Apparently, I'd worried for nothing.

Anyway, I still had cleaning up to do. I set down the backpack containing the crabs. Peering inside, I found them staying put, barely moving.

'Let's get a fire going first.'

I had a mountain of work ahead of me. I stripped off my clothes, which had dried somewhat, and tossed them aside.

The laundry could wait. Washing the grime off my body came first. I made sure to check thoroughly for any leeches in places I couldn't see.

'So the neck was the only spot.'

That thing had managed to latch on in the brief instant I'd fallen. Impressive, really.

I turned on the hose and washed myself all over. Soap was essential. On the advice of the forum users—specifically, the adventurers—I used unscented soap.

"Whew."

After a quick wash, I toweled off as much water as possible, then approached the campfire I'd lit earlier to dry myself thoroughly.

'First, let's buy some temporary shoes.'

Since my sneakers were soaked through, I needed something to wear for now. I went to the auction house and bought a suitable pair of leather shoes.

I didn't bother checking the size. I'd only be using them as slippers anyway, so a rough fit would do.

'Leave the laundry here, and now that I'm dry, put on some other clothes.'

I still had plenty of uniforms from Slutty Princess, though the bottoms were shorts. Long pants were essential for exploring, so I planned to wash and dry mine today.

I also had plenty of charcoal for the laundry. The veteran adventurers had told me to make sure I saved it.

'Now all that's left is...'

Roasting the crabs. I transferred them from the backpack to the metal tub, then added water to keep them as fresh as possible.

Between the fish and this, that tub was really coming in handy.

Now I just had to ask the forum how to clean them. Supposedly, you simply pried(?) their mouths open, but I didn't really know what that meant.

Anyone know how to clean a crab?

(Photo of crabs in a metal tub)

Gonna roast these instead of steaming them. Anyone know how to clean them?

└Passing Dwarf: Wow. That looks delicious. Can't you give me one?

└Wild Grylls: I told you, tomorrow. We can't trade right now anyway.

└Passing Dwarf: Ugh, seriously;; If I'd known, I wouldn't have traded earlier.

└Wild Grylls: Just wait a day. Can't you even manage that?

└Passing Dwarf: Nope. My beer hand's shaking right now.

└Wild Grylls: Fuck, that's a symptom of alcoholism. Quit drinking.

└Lmaoooo

└Telling a dwarf to quit drinking lmao

└Quitting drugs would be easier, for real

└Wait, you do drugs?

└Nah, just an example lol

└This guy's suspicious.

└Cleaning crabs is surprisingly easy. There's a bit at the mouth that opens up, right? Twist a knife in there and you can drain the blood and water.

└If you're roasting instead of steaming, don't put it back in water. Just cook it as is.

└The body doesn't burn through easily, so don't worry about that. Just roast it.

└It's best to drain as much water as possible. Otherwise, you might end up boiling it rather than roasting it.

So I had to pry the mouth open first. Nodding, I took out my dagger, then pulled a crab out of the tub and inspected it from various angles.

Just as the forum had described, its mouth opened to either side.

'Stick the dagger in here and twist sideways...'

CRACK!

The crab's mouth popped open with a satisfying sound. As soon as it opened, I turned the crab over.

Clear blood dripped out of its mouth along with the water.

"Kyuu."

"Oh. You're awake?"

Roundfur had woken up while I was cleaning the crab. The speed-sloth was creeping closer too, looking like it wanted food.

"Just wait a little. I'll give you something really tasty."

"Kyuu!"

"..."

Roundfur's eyes sparkled at the promise of something tasty. The speed-sloth showed no particular reaction, but it was probably looking forward to it too.

'Now that the blood's drained...'

Straight onto the campfire it went!

It was so big that it more than covered the entire fire. I added wood so the legs would cook evenly along with the body. Still, I didn't want it charred black, so I moved it a little farther from the flames.

'They said to wait twenty to thirty minutes, right?'

In the meantime, I went to the auction house to look for shoes. I had some pretty demanding requirements.

Since I'd be walking long distances, they needed ventilation and comfort, plus waterproofing. Above all, they had to be sturdy. The moment I injured a foot, my chances of survival would plummet.

As I'd told the dwarf, I essentially wanted combat boots built around durability.

'Combat boots remind me of the army.'

When I'd first become a recruit, I thought that first march would kill me. Or rather, the real chaos came after the march, not during it.

Everyone else had blisters or raw skin, while I was perfectly fine. To me, combat boots were just slightly heavy shoes. They weren't all that uncomfortable.

'Nothing, no matter how hard I look.'

Even the expensive options didn't meet my requirements. Most of those were sports shoes anyway—soccer cleats, basketball shoes, things like that.

In the end, I'd have to make a post. First, I bought a tape measure from the auction house. Since I wasn't familiar with the units of length, I planned to place it beside my foot.

Commissioning shoes

Wild Grylls

(Photo with a tape measure beside a foot)

(Photo with a tape measure over a foot)

Exactly what the title says. I'm looking for shoes suitable for exploring. My requirements are fairly demanding, though.

1. (Most important) They must be sturdy. A foot injury would be disastrous, so this matters most.

2. Waterproofing. There will be plenty of situations where my shoes get wet.

3. Ventilation and comfort. Comfort actually matters more than ventilation, since I might be heading into high terrain.

4. Slip resistance. I nearly died after slipping while trying to stand up.

5. Preferably leather shoes. Same reason as number 3.

If you make shoes that more or less meet the requirements above, I'll give you a mature mandrake.

I'd appreciate videos and photos demonstrating their performance too. I hope lots of people see this.

└Heavenly Demon: May I participate as well?

└Wild Grylls: Huh? Why you, Heavenly Demon?

└Heavenly Demon: I am bored.

└Wild Grylls: Teacher, please;;;

└Sword Masta: If you're bored, want to debate swordsmanship with me? I'll wipe the floor with you.

└Heavenly Demon: Foolish girl. Very well. I shall open a chat.

└Passing Dwarf: Can I enter on someone else's behalf? I know a guy who makes damn good armor.

└Wild Grylls: Yeah, go ahead. But do you need a mature mandrake? Making more liquor?

└Passing Dwarf: That too, but my buddy keeps pestering me for a glass. Wouldn't it be easier to just give him one?

└Wild Grylls: Do whatever. As long as I get shoes, I'm fine.

└Passing Dwarf: Okay, but what's the deadline?

└Wild Grylls: The sooner the better. I think I'll need at least two pairs for now?

└Passing Dwarf: Okay, got it.

└Gonna Be a Duke: Will you truly offer a mature mandrake as the prize?

└Wild Grylls: I don't have anything else to give. Unless you'd like the crab I'm roasting right now?

└Gonna Be a Duke: No, thank you. I shall procure them as quickly as possible.

└Wild Grylls: Thank you.

└Gonna Be a Duke: If a pair outperforms the winning shoes, would you be willing to accept those as well?

└Wild Grylls: This is really more of a trade anyway, so as long as I like them, sure.

└Gonna Be a Duke: Understood.

There was something oddly dignified about that user's manner of speaking. The username looked ambitious too.

This might look like a contest, but it was really more of a trade. A clear exchange, with both parties getting something.

Lacking shoes wouldn't stop me from exploring. There were still plenty of places to investigate. But I intended to avoid it where possible. The memory of nearly dying yesterday meant I needed to be careful.

CRACKLE! POP!

"Is it done... Hot, hot, hot!"

The instant I pressed a finger against it to check, searing heat hit me. If I hadn't pulled my hand back right away, I'd have burned myself.

I put on gloves and took the delicious-looking roasted crab off the fire. It was clearly an ordinary crab, but bigger than even a king crab, so there ought to be plenty of meat.

'A leg first.'

The legs were among the tastiest parts. I cut one off with my knife.

CRUNCH!

It came away with a satisfying sound. Then I cut along its side and slowly pried it open, releasing billows of steam.

"Wow."

Look at that plump, firm meat. My mouth watered just seeing it. How would it taste? I'd sprinkled on salt, but no other seasonings.

I blew on it to avoid burning my mouth.

"Munch, munch. Ahh."

It was genuinely delicious. All I'd added was salt, yet it was packed with savory flavor. There wasn't even a fishy smell to put me off. For a moment, the countless crabs scattered along the lake flashed before my eyes.

CRUNCH!

"Oh, yeah!"

Taking off the shell was the way to go with crab. I let out a cry of admiration at the innards revealed beneath it.

For a moment, I regretted roasting it rather than steaming it. Then I decided to dig in quickly.

'I thought the innards would taste fishy, but they don't.'

Those were delicious too. The flavor was excellent in every way.

After polishing off the innards, I tore off a leg for Roundfur.

"Roundfur, eat this for now. I'll give you more later."

"Kyuu!"

"Want some too, Speedy?"

"..."

The speed-sloth gestured for me to hand it over. I cut off another leg and gave it one too.

It took the leg without suspecting a thing, then started flailing its arms. Even its drowsy eyes sprang wide open. It must have been quite a shock.

'Yeah. Bet that's hot.'

I had gloves on, but the speed-sloth was barehanded. After all the times it had messed with me, this was mild revenge.

I snickered.

SMACK!

Then the little bastard hurled it at me. It hit me square in the face.

A collaboration between a sloth's powerful throwing arm and a piping-hot crab leg. First came pain, then intense heat.

"Aaaaargh!"

You'll pay for this, you little shit.

* * *

While Grylls was busy feasting on delicious crab...

"I presume you have also seen the forum post."

"Then you mean..."

"Hurry and bring me a craftsman. As quickly as possible."

"Yes, sir!"

A subtle shift was beginning to ripple through the world.