Chapter 59 - A Bizarre Adventure (1)

Chae U gained two more furry fans today

Wild Grylls

(Photo of the speed-sloth wearing a Chae U jersey)

(Photo of Roundfur wearing a Chae U jersey)

(Photo of the two animals standing side by side)

I hereby officially declare that, as of today, the speed-sloth and Roundfur are fans of Chaemes United.

└The speed-sloth looks so fucking unhappy lmaooo

└Roundfur just looks confused lol. So freaking cute hahaha

└Why do those suit them so well lmao

└Slutty Princess sent kids' sizes too?

└Wild Grylls Yep. Not exactly something I could wear, so I tried putting them on the animals. I'll take them off if they don't like them.

└Ahh. The whole world is Chae U...

└Starlight Lady Should I raise an owlbear too? It's so adorable...!

└Wild Grylls All you really need to do is feed them well. And they're seriously cute.

└Starlight Lady I'd like to raise one and name it Hellin.

└Wild Grylls Excuse me?

“Hehehe.”

Kayrin, the princess of Mephisto, chuckled in satisfaction at Grylls's post.

She normally maintained an imperious demeanor, but that was only in her everyday life. On the forum, where she could let all her emotions show, she was little different from anyone else.

“It really is adorable. Just look at that chubby body.”

Even she couldn't resist cute things. In fact, hardly anyone bad-mouthed Roundfur. Anyone who did had to be prepared for every insult under the sun to come flying back at them. Some users even clamored for photos of Roundfur instead of Grylls.

'That should take care of his clothes for a while.'

Her reasons for giving Grylls the jerseys were nothing special. She had so many she was practically tripping over them, and she found him personally interesting. As a princess, she had been on the receiving end of all manner of flattery. She was more than capable of distinguishing truth from lies.

'It's been a while since someone made me feel their sincerity through words alone.'

There were quite a few reasons Kayrin liked Grylls. For one thing, he sincerely supported Chae U, her favorite team, and his determination to repay her somehow was impressive. When she said she didn't need anything in return, he had even fidgeted like a puppy desperate to relieve itself. Every little thing he said and did left a good impression on her.

Despite the anonymity the forum afforded, Grylls was fairly courteous and well-mannered.

'Is it because he'll be in danger if he can't win people over?'

Perhaps that was it. Once he escaped the Forest of Four Seasons, he might clam up and ignore them completely. Even so, she didn't mind. It meant he would remain a good fellow at least while he was in the forest.

'But it is strange. Did he really come from another world?'

Quite apart from that, she couldn't help taking an interest in him. Grylls had once claimed he came from another world. At the time, everyone had dismissed it as an act and moved on. Kayrin had thought it was an act too, especially since he knew about sports. That knowledge had convinced her, but the suggestion he had made was truly astonishing.

'A tournament based on people's territories of origin, rather than clubs founded in a home territory. And once every four years?'

The tournament Grylls had mentioned—the World Cup—stuck in Kayrin's mind. He had explained it as though it actually existed. She couldn't help paying attention.

'The pride of representing your territory. The honor of defeating the other representatives. The rarity of an event held only once every four years. Every one of those is an enticing selling point.'

There had once been a proposal in Mephisto for a tournament: each race would assemble its representatives for a worldwide sporting competition. It had met with considerable enthusiasm, but fallen through for various reasons. Aside from the differences between races, the pressure was simply too great.

Competition for a place would be not merely fierce but murderous, and even those who made it through would inevitably become entangled in politics. The honor was nothing short of a poisoned chalice. And so the idea had fizzled out.

'The humans would be enthusiastic about this too.'

Humans had a bottomless floor, but their ceiling was high enough to pierce the sky. Sports were no exception, and countless humans were currently playing professionally. Human players frequently transferred to Mephisto and delivered outstanding performances. Their short lifespans and consequent aging made their primes relatively brief, however. That was unavoidable.

Yet even those brief bursts of brilliance were enough to sweep every award, eroding the demons' pride by the day. Hadn't they recently lost in a tournament pitting clubs from different countries against one another? Where demons and elves burned low and long, humans burned bright and brief.

'Did he really come from another world?'

She had dismissed it as nonsense at first, but there were more than a few suspicious details. His ability to use the forum in the Forest of Chaos, for one, and all the things he knew, for another.

'Even if he did, he's still a Chae U fan.'

One suspicion led to another, but Kayrin soon let the matter drop. She wanted a more in-depth conversation with Grylls, but his survival came first. It would hurt to see a fellow Chae U fan die such a pointless death.

'I wish those people in House Medes knew about Grylls too.'

How wonderful it would be if House Medes gave Grylls its full support. His odds of survival would rise dramatically, and they would get plenty of publicity out of it. But all House Medes cared about was making money. They wouldn't spare a thought for someone like Grylls.

'I'd love to pressure them into it... but damned politics.'

Kayrin shook her head.

Soccer and other sports were pure, lighthearted fun for spectators. But the deeper you dug into their inner workings, the more complicated and filthy they became. That was why Kayrin preferred to enjoy them rather than dig. Even with that attitude, Chae U's matches sent her blood pressure soaring, but that was true of everyone. Getting angry because your team played like shit was universal, across nations and races alike.

'Please, just don't go down without a fight. At least score a goal.'

Kayrin thought of the upcoming match. Their opponent was Leor, a team she couldn't stand the sight of. The gap between Leor, now a powerhouse, and the declining Chae U was enormous. Still, soccer always held surprises, so she harbored a sliver of hope.

'I'll have to tell them I'm doing mental discipline in two days.'

There was one advantage to being a sports fanatic: you didn't need separate mental discipline. Why would you, when watching sports was mental discipline in itself? With that thought, Kayrin set off.

“Hm?”

“Ah.”

As she walked down the corridor, she came face-to-face with someone. He had the characteristic blue skin of a demon, eyes with black sclera, and horns on his head. And, to top it off, looks that more than deserved to be called handsome.

“Greetings, Father.”

Kayrin greeted him with proper courtesy. This was Asmode, infamous throughout the world as the Demon King—her father and the reigning king of Mephisto.

“Ah, Kayrin. Is all well?”

“What could possibly be wrong? Every day is much the same.”

“I see. Where are you headed?”

“I was planning to make preparations for my mental discipline in two days.”

'I'm going to watch Chae U play in two days.' That was what she really meant.

Asmode nodded at her answer, then spoke in a stiff tone.

“You seem to be spending considerably more days on mental discipline lately. Is something troubling you?”

“My concerns are utterly trivial compared with yours, Father, when you bear responsibility for Mephisto's decisions every day.”

'Chae U are so fucking bad. I swear they're giving me cancer. I'm going to die.'

Once again, Kayrin screamed inwardly.

Asmode nodded at her spoken response and offered some comfort.

“Do not push yourself too hard. Before you are a princess, you are my daughter. If you need help, you need only ask.”

“Thank you for the kind offer. But...”

Kayrin gazed at his face. Things must have been going well lately, for his expression was quite relaxed. In the old days, he had worn such a stern expression every single day that he had been terrifying. He had also been busy with mental discipline daily, much like Kayrin was now.

“Have you attained enlightenment, Father? You seem to devote fewer days to mental discipline now.”

“Indeed. With nothing but good things happening, in Mephisto and elsewhere, my mind has found peace.”

“I see.”

She envied him. She really did. Here she was, rotting inside day after day, while he had attained enlightenment. But she didn't think it unfair. She herself bore the blame.

'It's my own fault for being a Chae U fan.'

She had no intention of taking her anger out on someone innocent.

“Well, I hope you make good progress.”

“Thank you, Father. What will you be doing?”

“I too have training in two days. Perhaps my most important training yet.”

“I'm certain you will achieve good results.”

“Thank you for your kind words. I shall be going now.”

Asmode patted Kayrin's shoulder as he passed. She watched him walk away, then set off herself.

'If we lose again this time...'

The mere thought was horrifying. The forum would undoubtedly be flooded with ridicule. And her greatest concern was Grylls. Wouldn't Chae U's dreadful performance disappoint him? She could picture another registered user noticing his disappointment and gently tempting him away—King Leor in particular.

└King Leor Why support a team like that? How about cheering for our Leor instead? I'll even give you jerseys.

└Wild Grylls Thanks. Actually, I've been a Leor fan all along.

└King Leor Now, say it with me. Chae U belong?

└Wild Grylls In mid-table?

└King Leor Very good!

'Anything but that!'

How could she keep Grylls a Chae U fan? Kayrin wrestled with the problem behind an expressionless face. However lofty her position, she was still just a sports fan.

'I'll be watching to see whether you have a change of heart.'

Unbeknownst to Grylls, Kayrin had set him a test.

* * *

'What's this? Something feels weird.'

I looked around, but all I could see were trees. I wondered whether some beast was watching me from hiding, yet I couldn't spot anything. The speed-sloth wasn't reacting either, so I must have imagined it.

'Let's see. How well did it turn out?'

There was something more important to do: check whether all the meat hanging from the tripods I'd built using Starlight Lady's post had finished smoking. It could take as little as one or two hours, or around ten at most. Since time was of the essence, I'd opted to raise the temperature a little.

“Wow. Look at that color.”

Its appearance passed muster, at least. Not only did it have that distinctive smoked color, it smelled fantastic. I tore a piece in half to check whether it was cooked through, and found it nicely done. The inside passed too, but taste was what mattered most. Dinner was still a while off, but one bite couldn't hurt.

“Nom.”

I bit into the smoked tiger meat. I'd heard carnivores usually tasted gamey, but perhaps because I'd smoked it, there wasn't a trace of that. Or perhaps it was just because I wasn't picky. It tasted pretty good too. Juices practically poured out of it, giving it a wonderful texture.

“Nghhh...! Ptoo! Ptoo!”

It was, however, incredibly salty. That was unavoidable, since I'd salted it before smoking it.

'Roundfur won't be able to eat this.'

Raw meat would be much better for him. I hung the finished smoked meat inside the cave. It was relatively cool in there, making it better than outside.

'Time to cook the rest too.'

There was still plenty left to smoke. I really had my hands full today. By the time I'd finished everything, the sun had set and evening had arrived. Dinner would be the smoked meat I'd made today. One chunk would be plenty.

“Roundfur, time to eat.”

“Kyu!”

At mealtime, Roundfur approached with sparkling eyes. Wearing the children's jersey, he was cute beyond imagination. Just looking at him made me want to hug him tight. I was starting to understand why people dressed up their pets.

'As for the speed-sloth, well...'

The speed-sloth hadn't seemed to like its jersey, so I'd taken it off right away. If I hadn't, it probably would have shredded the thing with its claws.

At any rate, I'd managed another productive day. Tomorrow, I planned to catch crabs for the dwarf and explore here and there.

'If I keep making progress little by little, I'll find a clue eventually, right?'

Holding on to that tiny bit of hope, I drifted off to sleep, utterly unaware of what the next day would bring.