Chapter 54 - But Still (2)

Actually, it had been a while since I discarded the theory that I was simply trapped in a capsule. Because no matter what excuses I came up with so far, I couldn't deny that it was well past the point where my body in reality would have died of thirst.

And to say an outsider intervened, it was strange that they wouldn't log me out.

"Excuse me, Mr. System?"

It had also been a while since I harbored the suspicion that the system might have a backer.

No. This was an older question, closer to one I'd had almost from the very beginning.

"Excuse me?"

The reason was... nothing much, just because it was a cliché.

While there are many novels where a system is given, there are also those where it isn't, so it was just something I had thought about fairly often.

"Hmm. Log out."

「It is an impossible command.」

"Emergency protocol, force shut down capsule."

「It is an impossible command.」

However, the moment this suspicion became serious was when I felt that the message popping up when executing log out and the emergency protocol, like just now, was quite subtle.

Usually, even if a bug occurs, it wouldn't say no in that kind of tone. It would say, 'Failed.'

On top of that...

"Options, Settings. Graphics. Change resolution to 24K, 18K."

「It is an impossible command.」

"Framerate. Change from 240 to 120."

「It is an impossible command.」

"Adjust brightness. Minimum."

「It is an impossible command.」

"Restart from last save point."

「It is an impossible command.」

If it brings up that kind of message for most settings, anyone would inevitably feel a sense of incongruity!

"Hah."

And the suspicious parts didn't end there.

What about the skills with inconsistent hitboxes and activations? Especially the enemy detection skill.

How many times did it only pop up after I had already gotten close? Wasn't that a severe error for a system that was supposed to be consistent? Of course, this game was full of bugs apart from that too, but anyway!

In addition, the criteria for item descriptions popping up were completely arbitrary, and the same went for my HP dropping.

Based on simple calculations, there were many points where my HP should have fully bottomed out, but the fact that it somehow maintained my HP just because I didn't check it...

My experiences were far too extreme to just dismiss it as mere luck. Going through events like this, I couldn't help but feel a sense of incongruity.

"Excuse me, I'm just asking to have a conversation."

More than anything, the decisive factor was the skill provided this time.

It was so blatant that it was almost laughable, and it was ridiculous to ignore it any longer.

"Just a conversation..."

Faced with no response, I let out a sigh and relaxed the tension in my waist. My back touched the rock, and my head leaned back.

My clumpy, heavily salt-caked hair brushed against the rock and loosely scattered.

Not only that, the tight feeling on my skin and the sensation of something rubbing off were vivid. It was probably salt and sand.

"..."

But thanks to its restoration ability, my clothes were perfectly dry and fresh. I felt awkward, as if I had just changed my clothes without taking a shower.

Sometimes, this is exactly what snapped me out of my sense of reality.

It wasn't particularly important though. A faint resignation pressed down on me as if choking my neck.

"What the hell are you trying to do?"

As for the system that didn't answer, well. I wasn't sure if I was getting angry or if a wave of disillusionment hit me before the anger. I wondered if I even needed to distinguish the two.

"Making it so obvious..."

But yeah. Only the things I wanted to ask remained, floating around in my head.

Whether this was a game or another world.

Why I was called here.

Who exactly brought me here.

What exactly they wanted me to do here.

Whether there was a way for me to return to Earth, and things like that.

'I'm angry.'

If the system had been consistent, and hadn't made me suspect whether there was a backer behind it.

If so, I would have just lived with it. Because there was no action more meaningless than looking for a reason in something that happened without reason.

Besides, wasn't I previously in a situation where I was constantly worrying that my physical body in the capsule might starve to death?

As such, there was a high chance I would have considered this life as a bonus opportunity. There was no way dissatisfaction could creep in.

'I resent everything.'

But, if there was a cause to this, it was different.

If my possessing this character and doing all this was someone's intention. And if there was a means by my side that seemed like I could communicate with it...

Then I couldn't just simply accept it. I couldn't comply.

I, I wanted it back.

'This whole world is...'

That life where I didn't have to act, filled with people who knew me, and which was endlessly familiar to me.

'Whole world?'

I blinked. The emotion that didn't seem like mine disappeared in the blink of an eye, leaving only a gentle sadness. THUMP-THUMP. It was as if I could hear the beating sound of the marble I had put in my inventory.

"If, what if."

You know. Actually, I don't think it really matters whether this is a game or reality. As long as I can live without dying, what does it matter either way?

It's a world where an illusion becomes reality if I accept it, and the truth becomes a lie if I reject it.

"If I catch Satan and clear the main story."

But if possible, I think a game would be better. Being able to retry, putting my mind at ease a bit more, there are plenty of advantages in many ways.

Above all...

"Will I be able to go home then?"

A game shuts off when you clear it, right?

So, so...

"Please, please."

Tell me it's okay to keep the possibility open that I can go home if I see the ending.

That I still won't be disappointed, that I won't despair.

That the system didn't just pop up quests for no reason.

"Even if it was you who brought me here, I won't resent you."

Please, can't you just say yes?

Even if it's just this one thing.

"..."

I gritted my teeth at the system that remained silent. My right hand, which had been holding my sword, came up and touched my eyes and forehead.

I couldn't tell if the freezing temperature of the metal made me feel more sorrowful or if it comforted me.

The rising resentment merely transformed into all sorts of curses, only to be crushed down again by my last remaining shred of reason.

My eyes felt hot, then cold, and eventually lukewarm.

"... System."

Amidst my sorrow, I called out once again to the still unresponsive system.

Resentment, yeah. I don't have it yet. It's frustrating, hopeless, I feel betrayed, and a bit angry. But I didn't harbor resentment.

Not yet, I haven't.

After all, I wasn't even certain if the system really had a backer, and there was no guarantee that it was the one that brought me here.

Moreover, the system was my ally and helper. Judging from the way it provided skills in dangerous moments, it clearly had goodwill toward me at the very least.

How could I turn against such a target just because I couldn't overcome a momentary surge of emotion? That would be an incredibly foolish act.

That was certainly true.

Therefore.

"Damn it, I'll believe there's a reason you're not attempting direct communication."

Swallowing all my questions and sorrow, I relaxed my body. DROP. Something that flowed down the corner of my eye passed over the skin between my eye and ear, curved slightly around my ear, and reached my neck.

"I'll just consider it as some kind of restriction, like you're not allowed to talk to me."

And removing my hand, I opened my briefly closed eyelids. I saw the sky. The sky overflowing with the Milky Way. A world I didn't know.

"So, please let me go back when I beat this game."

I miss home.

I cried as that one unspoken sentence caught in my throat. I wondered how five syllables could choke me up so much.

* * *

Pressing down my piercing sorrow, I covered my eyes again. So that I wouldn't collapse into despair, so that I could feel lighter again.

Because wallowing in pessimism over a situation I couldn't control or resolve would only end up destroying me.

Besides, the situation wasn't entirely bad.

After all, wasn't I in a state of being semi-forced to follow the story while being swayed by my concept? I had nothing else I could do, nor was there anything else worth doing.

So this suspicion was merely adding one possibility to what I was already going to do anyway. The possibility that whatever was tangled up with the system might send me back when I saw the ending. Hope.

"... I should leave the possibility open that it might not be true."

But since I didn't really like being disappointed, I braced myself for a negative conclusion in advance. The idea that the system might know a way back was actually closer to my own wish.

"Sir, are you going to keep resting there?"

Had I just perfectly sorted out my feelings?

DeB approached with perfect timing. The village had gone quiet in the meantime.

"We secured a house in exchange for sharing some of the supplies when they arrive. Why don't you rest there?"

I adjusted my expression. He probably couldn't see well because it was night, but you never knew.

"No, need."

But why was my voice like this? Answering absentmindedly, I was even more surprised by my own voice, locked tight like a freshly bought beverage bottle. It was a relief at least that it didn't sound tearful.

"They say it might rain tonight..."

Uh, that's a bit.

It was a relief DeB didn't notice anything, so I set that aside. Sleeping outside in the rain versus sleeping under a roof.

I deliberated fiercely. But no matter how much I thought about it, the former seemed correct.

It made sense since there weren't that many houses in the village, and our group wasn't just a dozen people either. Even with twenty casualties, our side still had over fifty people.

But could those people divide up properly and share rooms? Even if the villagers gave up their houses, it would probably only be a few.

There was absolutely no way. They would definitely be sleeping packed tightly together. My concept would never tolerate that!

"Piss off."

Hah, if DeB hadn't stacked up those misunderstandings earlier, I might have at least aimed for the eaves. This is miserable.

"Then at least a blanket..."

"Did you need another hole in your ear?"

Just go away, DeB. Rather than having his skull smashed, the Demon Knight will sleep making friends with the sound of the waves, the sea breeze, and raindrops. Sob.

"... Make sure you come eat. The people sent out to hunt are coming back one by one."

I'm not going, if only because of you. Hmph.

"Are you two still talking?"

"We're done now."

"Is he coming?"

"As if."

I continued looking up at the night sky while leaning against the rock. There were a lot of clouds, but the moon hanging high in the middle of the sky was clearly visible.

"I heard you're not sleeping in the village?"

I heard you talking too. So go away, Windhand.

"But man, this place is a total mess. Ugh. The stench is no joke."

Was there a stench? While lost in thought, I had completely gotten used to the surrounding smell and forgotten about it. The sea here still hadn't recovered from the aftermath of the black dragon.

"The Mages say it'll take at least a month to return to normal... It's going to be really tough."

Windhand's sentence lacked a subject, but I understood without difficulty. A month. It would be a very long time for the villagers.

"More importantly, aren't you going to check on your party members?"

"Why should I do that?"

"Because they're your party members...?"

"They are?"

"If not, never mind. Though, you did say you were only temporarily moving together, right?"

He actually remembered that.

"Then we can set off immediately tomorrow, right? If they aren't your party members, there's no need to wait until they recover."

He didn't just remember it, he immediately used it to his advantage.

"By any chance... you haven't forgotten our promise, have you?"

I realized the reason Windhand had stubbornly come to stand in front of me.

I thought he came to persuade me like DeB, but it was just to say this. He did say it was urgent, after all.

"Do you want me to forget it?"

"As if. Then we can really go, right?"

"It does not matter."

I answered without hesitation. I didn't know if the conditions to depart—the ship or food problems—were met, but conceptually, refusal was never an option from the start.

Besides, other than fatigue, I had no major injuries, and even that fatigue could be resolved by sleeping on the ship, so it was true there were no issues with departing immediately.

Of course, it would be hard for the others, excluding me. Especially the Inquisitor and Archmage, who had been unconscious and hadn't woken up yet.

"Alright. Keep that word."

But I couldn't just back out because of that. The concept was one thing, but it was a promise with an entire city on the line. I also had a quest.

Windhand had even lost two of his crew members for this. If I broke my promise here, I'd be trash. Well, my concept itself was already somewhat trashy, but anyway.

So I just decided things would somehow work out for those two. There was nothing I could do anyway.

As for receiving the reward... if it didn't work out, I'd just have to give up and leave. It wasn't like I desperately needed money anyway.

I was only being greedy about the dragon's corpse because I wanted to craft gear from it; it wasn't more important than my life—since my concept breaking would mean a mace flying at me.

As for the story... honestly, I said I was following it, but I wondered if a main quest even existed. Wasn't this just a structure where it progressed as I spent time clearing whatever quests came my way?

Since the direction of progress had become completely different from the original game, I couldn't predict anything anymore.

"We're back."

"Ah, the last hunting team has returned."

At that moment, all the crew members who had gone out hunting returned. Eavesdropping on their chatter, their total harvest was two deer, three rabbits, and one fox.

Windhand turned back toward them.

"This is it?"

"We tried our best too."

"Who is this supposed to feed?"

The amount of meat that comes from one deer isn't small.

However, considering the number of people on our side, with so many mouths to feed, it was bound to be lacking.

"We're sea folk, you know."

True, most of them were sailors. They might know fish, but catching wild animals must have been completely foreign to them. It seemed the deer they caught were thanks to the adventurers who tagged along, not the sailors.

"For now, try to scrape off every last bit you can."

"Yeees."

Around then, I fiddled with the food—biscuits and vegetable powder—inside my inventory.

Even if I gave this out, it would only make about ten portions at most. Would it be better than giving nothing?

But how should I deliver it.

RUSTLE-RUSTLE.

Should I go and toss it to them, or should I call DeB and hand it over? I should have thrown it to Windhand before he left earlier.

As I was pondering this, I felt a presence near me.

"It's meat..."

Turning my head slightly, I saw a few children.

They seemed to be watching the crew members butcher the deer, and the group was an even mix of kids from early to late teens.

"... I'm hungry."

"That's why we came out to dig up tree bark."

"But I hate this."

I wondered why they were awake when it was so late that it was practically dawn, but it turned out they had come out to find food because the youngest was hungry.

"I want meat too..."

"No. Those people caught it."

I helplessly broke down right then and there.

I absolutely hated seeing kids go hungry! Last time, they at least had meat we shared so I got to see them eat, but this time, we didn't even have enough for ourselves, so there's no way they'd give them any!

SPRING.

At that point, I scrunched up my face as much as possible and strode forward. My direction was where the kids were hiding.

The dragon's head? It's not like the dragon's head had legs, so leaving it alone for a bit wouldn't be a problem. The most problematic Mages were all in dreamland anyway.

So it was fine.

"Still, guys, let's hold out just a little longer. They said people from the castle would come when morning breaks. And they said they'd hand out food too."

"Then can we eat every day starting tomorrow?"

"That's..."

"I'm hungryyy..."

Meanwhile, the conversation I heard was so incredibly sad.

They might have struck a deal using supplies as the cost for a one-night stay, but there's no way it could be a lot. It would be a matter of days, let alone a month.

"H-Hyung."

Right then, one of the kids successfully spotted me. The child's hand tugged on the hem of an older one's clothes.

"Gasp, we've been caught."

"H-He's not angry, right..."

The kids trembled in fear with terrified voices. However, surprisingly, none of them seemed to run away.

Though it looked more like they were frozen stiff from terror rather than overflowing with courage.

"Eek!"

I looked at the oldest one among them. When our eyes met, the kid trembled and cautiously asked, "Um, yes?"

In response, I tossed the sack I had just taken out of my inventory. I hadn't portioned it out because I was afraid it would take up space, but looking at it now, it was a very wise choice.

If I placed tiny portions in their palms one by one, it would ruin my image.

"...? Sir, what are you doing over there?"

"Uh, huh?"

Over yonder, DeB craned his neck to see what I was doing, while the girl who suddenly received the sack let out a weird sound in her fluster.

Naturally, I didn't explain.

"And why are you hanging out with kids now?"

DeB trotted over to this side. In that brief moment, the girl looked inside the sack, and her eyes widened like saucers.

"Th-Th-This is."

"What did you give the kid to make her this surpris... Eh?"

"F-Food, there's food..."

Niiice. I handed over the food for now.

I'm just going to cross the village like this and head into the forest. If I search all night, I'll catch something at least.

Windhand wasn't going to set sail at night anyway.

"Is it food?!"

"Did he give it to us?"

"Really? Is it something to eat?"

"I'm hungryyy."

"N-No. Guys! You can't just eat... Ah geez, don't pull on my clothes!"

"Sir, really."

While the girl was being pestered by the surrounding kids, DeB looked at me somewhat with a 'did he eat something wrong' kind of vibe. Of course, I didn't worry about my skull getting smashed.

How many times had I handed out items I didn't need to people in desperate situations? This time wasn't much different. In other words, my concept wasn't breaking!

"... I'll go with you. Seriously. Wouldn't it have been better if we went together earlier?"

"Piss off."

"Aw, don't be like that..."

I elegantly drew my zweihander, turned around, and slammed it into the ground at the same time. The blade of the zweihander embedded itself right in front of DeB's toes.

"I will piss off."

For reference, this was to stop DeB from following me so that he wouldn't come back carrying two deer like last time.

It absolutely wasn't because my feelings were hurt over the demon possession issue from earlier on the ship. A-Anyway, it wasn't.

My legs began to head deep into the forest.