Chapter 101 - Is It Me?

CRASH!

With a sound that shook Hestia village, the situation came to an end.

Those who had gathered to eliminate the remaining demonic creatures ended up forming a circle around Valdrova.

Their gazes were all looking down at her.

"What in the world is this..."

"Ugh..."

Those with weak stomachs gagged upon seeing the sight.

Some of them recognized that form.

'A berserker.'

Those who were consumed by rage and destroyed everything.

That rage could not be controlled, so unless there was a mage capable of casting a calming spell, they were simply treated as small-sized ogres.

The residents could guess why she, who wielded such absurd monstrous strength, was here.

Although that guess wasn't certain, the fear quickly spread.

Everyone feared Valdrova.

Valdrova did not take any action.

She merely raised her head slightly to look around and sat perfectly still in that spot.

Everyone exchanged side-glances and hesitated.

They did not dare step into the sunken ground that had collapsed from a single strike.

"Are you alright, Sir Knight?"

The man wearing the epaulets of the security captain.

The man who had bravely faced the demonic creatures more than anyone else approached and asked.

Valdrova could not answer.

"Can you stand up? Shall I help you?"

William reached out a hand, but Valdrova didn't even look at it.

She remained as still as if she were dead.

What awakened her mind was a single voice.

"Sir William."

It was Ferda.

She raised her head and looked up at Ferda.

"Yes, Regent."

"I heard a massive explosion just a moment ago. This seems to be the epicenter..."

Ferda looked at her.

Those cold eyes.

It was not the warm gaze he used to look at her with.

"You are..."

Ferda could not finish his sentence.

Valdrova knew the reason why.

'I am...'

Because I am a monster.

Ferda walked toward Valdrova.

Unable to bear looking at his expression, she lowered her head.

With her vision obscured, the sound of his footsteps could be heard even more clearly.

Having approached closely, Ferda opened his mouth.

"Come to the castle. I have something to tell you."

The warmth that had always been directed at her was gone.

She had seen this space several times before, but it felt very different from back then.

If she had looked around as the owner before, she was now here as a guest.

It was a ridiculous situation.

To think the master of the castle was visiting as a guest.

Ferda was unaware of that fact.

He personally prepared and poured tea in the drawing room.

"Originally, the maids would handle this, but they are currently busy cleaning up the situation outside, so it has fallen to me. Please understand even if it doesn't taste good."

"..."

"Still, consider it fortunate. I established a rule that all knights must wash up upon entering, so it would have only eaten up time."

Ferda pushed the teacup toward Valdrova.

Whether it tasted bad or not didn't matter.

'Tea made by Ferda...'

That fact alone made it seem incredibly special.

She wanted to drink it.

However, if she took off her helmet, her face would be seen.

Ferda would be shocked.

If that happened, she would have to explain everything she had been doing until now, and things would get complicated.

He would feel disillusioned.

She did not want to face such a tragedy.

'Let's just stay still.'

Valdrova wordlessly put the teacup down.

Quietly observing her action, Ferda started a different conversation.

"I heard you took a vow of silence."

Nod, nod.

"It's a good excuse. If you say you've taken a vow of silence, you only have to answer when asked, and you don't have to say anything unnecessary. Isn't that right?"

Ferda's cold gaze seemed to pierce through her.

"It might work on the ignorant masses, but I grew up in a knightly family. A vow of silence is usually only taken by paladins. And if you believed in someone, it would show in your bearing."

"..."

"However, you haven't served anyone. All you have is strength and fighting skills that surpass those of ordinary knights. So why did you tell such a lie?"

He spoke cynically.

"It's an obvious story. You must be hiding your identity to escape from your past."

Valdrova clenched her fists.

Even though Ferda was slightly off the mark, the essence of it was correct.

Valdrova hated herself.

She hated herself—someone who made others tremble in fear—even more than the Demons who had driven so many to their deaths.

"Tell me."

Ferda asked as he lifted his teacup.

"Have you ever killed someone while consumed by that rage?"

Nod.

"Is that why you ran away and came here?"

Nod.

"I see."

A brief silence.

After thinking about something, Ferda asked her.

"Do you regret that day?"

Regret.

How could she not regret it?

For decades, she had drowned in grief, loathed herself, and suffered from nightmares.

She wished for God's mercy and salvation, but no one listened.

Instead of moving forward, she stopped in her tracks and hated herself.

Whenever she thought of the people sacrificed in the Dragon-Demon War, this was always the only thought she had.

That if the people she had killed could only live again, she wouldn't care if she became an Evil Dragon who turned the entire world against her.

Valdrova nodded her head.

"I see."

That calm affirmation seemed to create the calm before the storm.

It felt as if curses would fly at her at any moment.

That a monster like her wasn't needed in this city.

That she should get lost immediately.

"Do you."

However, there was no storm.

"Like this village?"

It was such an easy question.

Valdrova nodded her head.

"Do you also have the intention to protect this village?"

Nod, nod.

"If so... do you also have the intention to accept the knighthood I am about to offer?"

Nod—.

Valdrova raised her head.

'If I become a knight...'

A position that protected the people and guarded the king.

What country boys dreamed of was a knightly romance.

Valdrova, who liked the word 'protection,' was also interested in that position.

'But, why?'

She couldn't understand.

People saw her as a monster.

Those girls had also trembled in fear.

I am an Evil Dragon, no, an evil person.

Such a person shouldn't become a knight.

"Do you think you are unqualified?"

Nod.

"What a petty thought."

Unhesitating harsh words.

The tenderhearted Valdrova was hurt.

"Do you know how many adventurers from Hestia village participated?"

Shake, shake.

"23 teams came in. In terms of numbers, that's 73 people. Every single one of them is someone of martial prowess and wisdom."

"..."

"However, only 4 teams participated in the defensive battle. Do you know what that means? It means the remaining 19 teams didn't care whether people died or the village was destroyed."

Ferda leaned forward and spoke.

"But you didn't do that. You could have grouped up with those idiots and hidden, but you moved to protect this village."

"..."

"That is because you know the people in front of your eyes are more precious than the events of the past."

Upon hearing those words, something disappeared from within Valdrova's heart.

She had thought he was looking at her like an endlessly cold monster, but he wasn't.

That had been Valdrova's misunderstanding from the start.

Although he wasn't warm, his eyes held a sense of respect.

"If you have the desire to protect this place, your past is meaningless to me."

You are not at fault.

And you just need to keep moving forward.

'What is this...'

She felt a strange emotion.

She had had this kind of conversation countless times when receiving Ferda's mana.

The Ferda from back then was always gentle.

'But it wasn't comfortable.'

When Ferda handled her, he treated her as if she were a fragile flower that could break at any moment.

His delicate and soft hands only ever brushed past her skin.

Valdrova hadn't been able to believe those words, and thus that comfort had also remained nothing more than a fleeting emotion.

'It's different from back then.'

His ungentle tone and gaze.

An attitude that treated her completely as a stranger.

'It feels like we are meeting for the first time.'

He didn't hesitate to touch upon things, drawing out deep sympathy from within.

It all felt as if she were seeing another side of Ferda.

Her heart pounded.

This feeling, even deeper than when she first saw him, was unmistakably affection.

"Do you think I am an understanding person?"

At his question, Valdrova nodded her head.

"Unfortunately, I am not that kind of person. I am only pretending to be this understanding because you resemble someone I have seen before."

Who in the world could that be?

As she wondered inwardly, he spoke.

"She is a truly beautiful person."

Beautiful.

Saying those words, Ferda smiled.

Seeing that sight, Valdrova's chest felt tight.

'I heard Ferda hasn't smiled at anyone other than me...'

That was what Luri had said.

That the only reason he was affectionate and the only reason he smiled was because it was Valdrova.

Just who was this person to make him act like that?

"I've only seen her face once, and even then, I can't really say I saw it properly."

'Could she really be such a wonderful person even though he's only seen her face once?'

"Besides, the first time I saw her face, she was in tears."

'Is she someone who looks that beautiful even when crying...'

"I want to see her face every time, but I simply couldn't bring myself to say it."

'What a bad person. She doesn't even show him her face...'

"Still, knowing that she is resting without a care beneath this castle brings me comfort in itself."

'Beneath this castle...'

Wait a minute.

That person...

'Is it me?'

Valdrova belatedly realized it.

Thinking back on everything he had just said, wasn't it exactly the same as her own situation?

'Ah...'

Valdrova's face flushed bright red.

Now that she was aware of it, she wanted to bolt out of there this very instant.

And she wanted to return to her lair, roll around on the floor as usual, and let out happy hums.

However, she poured all her energy into calming her trembling and acted like a stranger.

'I really can't let him find out now.'

Whether it was for Ferda's sake or my own!

"I've rambled on for too long. So, could you give some more thought to accepting the knighthood?"

Ferda returned to the main topic.

Valdrova decided to think about it again as well.

'If I become a knight... will I become someone... who protects Ferda?'

Valdrova's heart pounded.

She couldn't hide her fluttering feelings, listening to words she never would have dared to hear if she had been in her dragon form, if she had been Grand Duchess Valdrova.

'I want to protect the village.'

But even more than that,

'I want to protect Ferda.'

And even more than that,

'I want to hear more about what he thinks of me!'

A woman who lacked the courage to ask him to his face, and a man who couldn't bring himself to say it to her face.

In such a relationship, it was an absolutely perfect moment to hear his true inner thoughts firsthand.

That reason was practically everything.

Just as Valdrova was about to give her answer.

"Lord Ferda."

Luri walked in.

"What is the situation in the village?"

"The cleanup is proceeding smoothly."

"Is there any bad news?"

"There doesn't seem to be any. The casualties are minimal, and while there have been numerous severe injuries, the emergency treatment was completed quickly, so there are no life-threatening conditions."

"That's a relief."

"I will attend to you now."

She quickly and skillfully took her place and served the tea.

Luri's gaze briefly glanced at the armor.

"Hm?"

For some reason, she, who was usually indifferent to humans, was staring quietly at the armor.

Luri stared intently at the armor.

Her face looked as though she was on the verge of realizing something, yet was still hazy about it.

A moment later,

"... Hah?"

Luri's expression drastically soured.

Valdrova knew that expression.

'She noticed!'

Her face inside the armor turned pale.

Luri stared at her in utter disbelief, then shut her mouth as if bound by a vow of silence.

Ferda, completely oblivious, merely found Luri's behavior strange.

"What is it?"

"... It's nothing. I just briefly recalled some filth left behind in the village."

Luri finished her service as if nothing was wrong and stepped behind Ferda.

"Then, let us continue our conve—"

"I apologize, but."

Luri cut him off and interjected.

"May I ask what you are discussing?"

"... This is the first time you've asked such a thing."

She had always been faithful to her role.

Standing like a folding screen, she never meddled.

"It seemed like quite an important conversation. I felt that I might need to know as well."

Ferda willingly answered.

"I was asking if she would pledge herself to me as a knight."

"A knight's... pledge...?"

A face full of utter disbelief.

"And so, did she accept?"

"I was just about to hear her answer."

"Hoh..."

Luri narrowed her eyes and shot the knight a sweeping glance.

"Is that so?"

Valdrova's body instinctively shrank back.

Was she planning to expose her identity?

Denying it vehemently in her mind, she sent her a telepathic message.

'Please, just pretend you don't know!'

Luri had no intention of doing so either.

Instead, she responded more cruelly than Valdrova had imagined.

"Lord Ferda. What do you think about this?"

"About what?"

"A situation where a high-ranking knight pledges loyalty to a commoner."

Ferda answered.

"One cannot pledge loyalty to a commoner, but one can pledge loyalty to their own beliefs. If one vows to protect the people according to their beliefs, it might look as though they are swearing loyalty to commoners. That is a noble thing."

That was exactly why Ferda had made William the security captain.

If the scale of the village grew larger, he had even made up his mind to appoint him as a knight.

"That was just an example. Then, let me put it a little differently. For instance..."

She pretended to choose her words before speaking.

"What if Valdrova were to pledge loyalty to you, Lord Ferda?"

Ferda furrowed his brows and replied.

He glared at Luri as if asking if she had lost her mind.

"That's absurd. Such a thing is impossible. I am the one who should be pledging loyalty, and she is the one who must place her trust in me; to say she would pledge loyalty to me is practically an insult, is it not?"

"My thoughts exactly."

"If you knew that, then do not speak of such things so carelessly. I cannot tolerate it, even as a hypothetical."

"I apologize. I only asked out of sheer curiosity."

Luri crossed her arms and glared at Valdrova.

Her expression seemed to say, Do you realize how ridiculous this situation is right now?

"So, what will your answer be?"

Ferda asked.

Her answer was inevitably decided.