Chapter 108 - Karma

The strike had ended, and the disputes were resolved.

The incidents that occurred in Hestia village had essentially been settled.

Of course, while they might have been resolved for the people of Hestia village, Ferda still had many more problems remaining.

'The second coming of the Demons.'

In the end, the prediction of the Chancellor of Escolaia, Bernard Wayne, was right.

Because it had been confirmed that Gokma, one of those once called the seven baleful stars, was alive.

'And he's strong on top of that.'

The visible size of his magic power wasn't that massive, but its depth was extraordinary.

The ability to create a subspace just by swiping a single finger.

The power to distort and destroy a designated location with a single flick of a finger.

All of it surpassed Ferda's abilities.

'If I face him again, could I fight him and win?'

The moves Ferda possessed.

And the data he had obtained while observing Gokma.

He fought him by running through them hundreds of times in his head.

'Is my win rate in the decimals?'

Even that predicted victory was based on the assumption that an unexpected miracle would occur.

Moreover, he had only measured the hypothetical Gokma based on the level of power he currently understood.

If they clashed for real, and that bastard pulled out a hidden card, Ferda had no means to counter it.

It meant that no matter what he did, Ferda's chances of winning converged at 0%.

'I have to get stronger.'

He needed the power to reach an even higher state and crush him.

'But is that possible right now?'

A territory had been established, and he had to coordinate everything within the Grand Duchy's territory.

If work got busy, it would only get busier, and the more it did, the more he would end up neglecting his training and duties as a mage.

'Maybe times like this are exactly when I should train even more?'

But how easy would it be if things went as he wished?

The Red Circle fundamentally moved according to turbulent emotions.

It was said that affection and hatred were separated by a single sheet of paper.

The word 'love-hate' didn't exist for nothing.

If he fell into twisted feelings, he would plummet down the path of hatred that he knew so well, and proper growth would only be achieved through vigilance and determination.

'But how strong could I even get by doing that?'

He had a lantern, but it was absurdly insufficient to illuminate all the fog.

He didn't know what lay on the path he was walking.

'Rather... what if I could use that power again?'

The Red Circle fueled by anger.

It was a path Ferda knew, and he knew how to walk it.

He might be able to easily subdue someone of Gokma's level.

'There's a possibility.'

Then, he shook the thought away as if waking from sleep.

'... I'm being incredibly pushed into a corner.'

To think he would actually be contemplating such a stupid idea.

That power must not be created under any circumstances.

Wasn't it the emotion that ultimately killed Valdrova?

He shouldn't think he could control it.

Ferda had been caught in that exact delusion for ten years.

Ferda moved on to the next thought as if running away.

'Then, methods...'

A staff imbued with magic power, or a scroll inscribed with a magic circle.

Or byproducts created through magical engineering could also serve as his methods.

'The one I used in the past was...'

A staff called the 'Sixth Element'.

The ultimate weapon he had obtained from the Immortal King's tomb after a week-long battle.

'That's not an item I can use.'

It was a relic of the Immortal King, who had been the continent's public enemy in the era before the Dragon-Demon War.

The Ferda of that time had been alone anyway, essentially a heinous criminal, so it hadn't mattered whether he used it or not.

It wouldn't matter if it only ruined his own standing, but doing so would put Valdrova in danger.

'Still, I have an item that rivals it.'

The branch struck by heaven's defiance lightning.

The item he had been given for his contributions during the demonic creature incident in Halim.

He hadn't specifically shown it to anyone and had just set it aside for a moment.

If he made a staff out of this, he would be able to wield a powerful, pure force—heaven's defiance lightning.

'But it's not easy to make.'

It was only natural that the higher the power and efficiency of the magic, the higher the difficulty.

It might have been different a hundred years ago, but in the generation Ferda lived in, there were no enchanting mages or blacksmiths skilled enough to withstand heaven's defiance lightning.

Even the dwarf villages in the southwest wouldn't handle a witch's item, and if he asked an elf, they would show hostility as if he were mocking them.

'I have no choice but to persuade the dwarves.'

He figured that if he persuaded them, they might end up making it for him somehow.

While he was lost in thought, a guest arrived.

KNOCK.

KNOCK.

A knocking sound with long pauses.

The door cautiously opened along with a sound that seemed to lack confidence just by hearing it.

"Mr. Ferda? Are you busy?"

The terrifying head of a dragon appeared.

It was Valdrova.

"No. I'm fine. Do you need mana?"

"Yes, a little today as well..."

"Understood."

They had grown accustomed to this, so deep conversation wasn't necessary.

She was wearing the dragon knight armor that easily exceeded two meters in height.

The only place exposing any skin was her right hand.

Ferda placed his hand against hers and injected his mana.

'It's so warm, as expected.'

The mana seeping into her chest calmed her anxious heart.

She had felt it many times, but it brought her such comfort that she wanted to feel it countless times more.

Perhaps because of that, she had completely forgotten the reason she came here for a moment.

'This isn't what I came here for!'

The reason Valdrova had gone out of her way to come here and take up Ferda's time was because she had made a big decision.

'I want to try deciding today's conversation topic.'

Wasn't she continuing this work precisely for that?

She also happened to have something she was curious about.

'What does Mr. Ferda think of the armor knight?'

Her heart was pounding.

Come to think of it, it was no different from asking what he thought of her.

'Let's ask him.'

Valdrova struggled to suppress her pounding heart and forcefully opened her mouth.

"M-Mr. Ferda!"

"Yes."

"Uhm... Luri was recently saying...!"

Her pronunciation was leaking out with tiny squeaks.

Because of the voice modulation tube, it rang out like a mournful echo to Ferda.

Ferda replied calmly.

"What are you referring to?"

"I mean... that the... a-armor knight person! H-had a huge showing...!"

She even ended up biting her tongue, causing her energy to instantly die down.

"I-I heard..."

"Ah, you mean that person."

Ferda seemed surprised.

Naturally, he didn't know why she was suddenly curious about such a thing.

Valdrova desperately suppressed the truth that was trying to burst out of her mouth.

"I h-heard from Luri that... he really cares for the village."

"That is true."

It was true.

Hearing those words, her anxious heart fluttered surprisingly high.

"Is it really?"

"Early on, when we weren't receiving support from Halim, his strength played a big role. Thanks to him, we were able to raise many buildings much faster."

"I-is that so?"

He thought she had been helpful.

A sense of pride welled up within her for no reason.

"At first, I was a bit anxious, thinking he might be a rebellious traitor..."

"And?"

"It was my misunderstanding."

A voice that had gained a sliver of hope.

"Does that mean he's a good person?"

"It's true that he is a good person."

Valdrova felt like spreading her wings and fluttering into the air right at that moment.

"However, he has a lot of problems in various ways."

"... What?"

Those feelings only lasted a moment.

Having gone up so high, it was time to fall.

"He seems quite stupid as a person."

"S-Stupid?"

"Even when he participated in the council meeting this time, it was obvious he was being swayed by the others, which tells me he isn't very bright."

"That's..."

"Good heavens, if someone is wearing knight armor and keeping a Vow of Silence, the aid of writing should be more important to them than anyone else, yet his handwriting is a total mess, and he can't even get his spelling right..."

"..."

"A guy like that is bound to have his life twisted if he meets the wrong people. I was a little worried about him."

"..."

Ferda casually glanced at her hand.

"Are you alright?"

"... Y-yes?"

"Your hand is bright red."

The hand that had been like white jade was suddenly as red as a carrot.

Valdrova noticed it as well and hastily pulled her hand away.

"I-it's nothing..."

"It seems like a rejection reaction or something similar, I should take a closer look—."

"I-I really! It's nothing, so you don't need to worry about it!"

Valdrova shot up from her seat.

Ferda was startled by her sudden action.

"I'll be taking my leave early today."

"Is it enough? I feel like I've given you less than usual."

"Yes, I happen to... need to use some strength anyway."

Saying so, she slipped out as if running away.

Watching her go, Ferda realized he had made a mistake.

'As expected, badmouthing someone else isn't a good choice.'

He thought he had sugarcoated it in his own way, but it seemed he had miscalculated.

To think she had gone out of her way to bring up a conversation topic to talk about, only for him to make her uncomfortable.

'I should try to cut down on that next time.'

Resolving himself, Ferda decided to promise a better outcome next time.

Valdrova immediately returned to her lair.

She got out of her armor and laid down right on the spot.

Unlike usual, she hugged her legs close.

"Ooh..."

Valdrova let out a soft groan.

Her body trembled slightly.

"My Master, it is Luri. I am coming in."

Luri came inside.

Valdrova, who had turned into a human cocoon, caught her eye.

"... Why are you doing that?"

"Lurii..."

Valdrova raised her head as she called out her name.

Her face was dyed as bright red as the color of her hair.

"..."

Luri knew why she was acting like this.

Because she had already heard what they were talking about.

With tears in her eyes, Valdrova buried her face in her small attendant's chest.

"Speak."

"Mr. Ferda... Mr. Ferda called me stupid..."

"..."

"Can't even you deny it for me?"

She looked up with tearful eyes, but Luri didn't budge.

"Isn't that why I told you to study more regularly?"

"I did... I did study, buuut..."

"Besides, it's something you hear often, is it really something worth reacting to like this?"

"Of course, Iorga said it, and the others did too, but..."

Valdrova hugged her legs tightly and whined in a sorrowful voice.

"It makes me even sadder because it came from Mr. Ferda."

"It's not like he said it directly to you, my Master, did he?"

"That's why I'm even more upset! He usually speaks so kindly, but on the inside, he must be thinking I'm a complete idiot, right?"

"..."

"Please deny it. I'm really going to cry."

Valdrova felt even more sorrowful at Luri's reaction.

"You do not need to worry. If you put in the effort, my Master, he will surely recognize that side of you as well."

"You think so?"

"Therefore..."

Luri shoved two books toward her.

- Spelling Studies Even Young Children Can Easily Learn

- The Process of Becoming an Elegant Lady for Children: Let's Write Pretty Letters!

"You should get to it, right?"

Valdrova looked back and forth between Luri and the two books before speaking with difficulty.

"... Yeah."

There is no age limit to learning.

That night, Ferda had a dream.

Valdrova was there.

The place wasn't the castle.

A small house.

It was a commoner's house like the one Ferda had stayed in after being kicked out of the castle and losing all his money.

'It's a dream.'

Since it didn't seem like a particularly harmful dream, he thought he would just sit around until he woke up.

"Are you awake?"

A beautiful tone tickled his ears.

Ferda had only ever heard this voice once.

He raised his head, just in case.

Long red hair and golden eyes.

There were no two pairs of horns and long, slit pupils, and she was dressed plainly, but Ferda knew who she was.

'There's no mistaking it.'

It was Valdrova.

"What's wrong? You don't look well."

Her hand gently stroked Ferda's cheek.

A warmth like arriving home enveloped his entire body.

Seeing Ferda's much more relaxed face, Valdrova offered a soft smile.

Perhaps because he was holding her hand, the touch of it was incredibly vivid.

He even thought that it wouldn't be so bad to be trapped in this dream forever.

"Should we do that?"

"By that... do you mean?"

When Ferda responded as if he didn't know, Valdrova gave a cute eye smile.

Valdrova leaned her body and approached.

"The thing you are good at."

Her soft hand grabbed onto Ferda's hand.

Unable to resist, Ferda's hand was pulled along.

The place she guided it to was her neck.

Ferda was choking her neck.

"Now, kill me."

Startled, Ferda tried to pull his hand away.

But it wouldn't move.

Her hand was firmly fixed, and the more he struggled, the tighter it squeezed.

Blood flowed out of her golden eyes.

Valdrova's form melted and distorted.

- Why?

Screams erupted from her mouth.

- Why did you kill me?

Countless voices swam around inside Ferda's head.

It was karma.

They were the karma for the things he had committed.

That karma was something inescapable, even if he had returned to the past.

They say that karma comes back to choke one's own neck.

But Ferda's karma was choking a neck the other way around.

The neck of the person he should love the most.

Karma knew that this would be the most painful thing for Ferda.

- Why? Why? Why?

- I didn't do anything...

- Give me back my father!

The chaotic voices grew louder and louder.

Strength went into his grip on her slender neck.

At the very end of the chaos,

A terrible silence fell.

Had he woken from the dream?

No.

The slender texture was still vivid in his hands.

Ferda.

A voice echoed within it.

Now, listen to my voice again.

That voice was far too sweet.

Remember who you are.

Ah.

I am...

CRACK—.

He opened his eyes to the sound of snapping and breaking.

Cold sweat was pouring down, making his whole body feel unpleasant.

But what was even more unpleasant than that was,

'My circuits are...'

His Red Circle was rotating violently.

Again.

Even though it wasn't driven by his feelings for Valdrova, the circuit inside his chest was spinning fiercely.

Ferda forcefully pushed himself up.

He emptied his mind.

So that it would become completely void, leaving nothing behind,

Soon, Ferda's circle quietly subsided.

It was much simpler than he had feared.

However, even that simplicity was unwelcome to Ferda.

Because it meant that he already knew it.

'Why...'

That feeling pointed toward the name of déjà vu.

That déjà vu was something that should not exist within Ferda.

'Why does hatred still remain in me?'

Because it was the very thing that had turned Ferda into the disaster of the 9th Circle.

Ferda's head became complicated.

This wasn't a matter of mana determinism or some nonsense like that.

This was something he was actually feeling, something that was actually spinning.

Ferda had also faintly felt that it might be there.

'As I thought... was what happened back then not my misunderstanding?'

Abel Silverwind.

A third-rate villain who threatened Luri, someone whose name wasn't even worth remembering.

Back then, Ferda had made everything in the darkness his own.

Doing so, he had even entered inside Abel's body and killed him on the spot.

That was something a 4th Circle could not accomplish, and it was impossible even for Ferda.

Ferda reflected on the sensation from that time.

He traced it back to before that death, as if slowly rewinding time.

- Are you just going to watch?

'A voice.'

It was a sweet voice.

It had stirred up what was inside his body, drawing out power.

That power of his that had been consumed by rage.

'Even though I turned back time, does that still remain in me?'

The power that had killed his family,

That had killed innocent people,

And that had even killed the very person he loved right now.

That power was inside Ferda.

He was confused.

This was on a completely different level from simply being tied down by mana determinism.

While back then it had been a vague anxiety, this time it was a fact with evidence.

KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK.

The sound of knocking on the bedroom door.

Luri came inside.

"Lord Ferda."

"Why are you here?"

Irritation mixed into his voice without him realizing it.

"A guest has arrived."

"I have no intention of receiving guests today. Send them away."

"I came to ask because it is someone you know, Lord Ferda."

"Someone I know?"

Who would come here directly to see him?

As the names of countless individuals swirled in his head, the name that came out of Luri's mouth belonged to an unexpected person.

"It is your father, Erembalt Rosnova."

He was the starting point of the hatred he carried.