Chapter 16 - Seven Days and Nights of the Midnight Sun - 3

A long breath escaped him. His face twisted into a deep frown. What he had said sounded so pathetic. After struggling to get the words out, was that really all he could manage?

After taking so long to finally reach this moment, he was acting like a fucking idiot who could not even speak properly. Shame welled up inside Bera at the thought, and a blush began to spread across his face.

His gaze instinctively searched Renée's face. She looked bewildered, but even so, there was no sign of ill will toward him in her expression.

He really should not have felt this way, but a small sense of relief stirred inside him at the fact that she could not see his expression. Surely he could not afford to make a fool of himself on their very first meeting.

After letting out a short breath at the thought, Bera cleared his throat and spoke to Renée again.

"There is no need to worry. I am not anyone suspicious. I am on your side."

He had suddenly worried that she might think him suspicious.

But had that only served to show off his stupidity again?

"Um... where are you taking me?"

Only when she asked did Bera remember that he had told her nothing except his name.

It was the sort of idiotic mistake the twins would make. Of course she knew nothing about him. This was their first meeting. She would not know his affiliation, either. What had he been doing, without explaining even that?

Shame rose inside him again, and he hurriedly continued.

"The Holy Empire...! I have come from the Holy Empire."

"... Pardon?"

"I came here to protect you, Saintess—"

In the midst of his rambling, Bera stopped at the sight of Renée flinching.

A faint shadow fell across her face. Her expression was gradually darkening. Why was she reacting that way?

As Bera pondered that question, an answer slipped from her lips.

"... I am not that sort of person."

He understood the reason at once.

Watching Renée speak with that dark expression, Bera belatedly remembered her present state of mind.

'... Resentment.'

Resentment toward the Supreme God, who had taken away her light and tossed her nothing more than a sacred mark. This would be the time when that resentment dwelled within her.

He had heard it from her own lips, of all places. This was a conclusion he could be certain of.

Realizing his blunder, Bera hurriedly lowered his head. His fists clenched tight.

'You fucking idiot!'

What was he doing? Had he made this mess simply because he could not get a few words right?

Panic filled him. He had to make amends somehow. He tried to speak again, but—

"S—"

"Please leave. I am not the Saintess."

The words she gave him in return gouged into his heart.

"... I think you have come to the wrong place. I am just a blind girl in a little country village."

They were words that choked off his breath.

"I am sorry I am not the person you are looking for. I do hope you find the Saintess. Goodbye, then."

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

The sounds came in quick succession. The Saintess—Renée—tapped the ground with her cane and disappeared into the house with its striking red roof.

The door closed. The wave of white vanished from his sight. The girl he thought he had finally reached was slipping away again.

The dark brown door shut with a—

THUD.

And without a shred of mercy, it hid her from Bera.

* * *

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

The cane sounded against the ground. In time with it came—

TAP. TAP. TAP.

The sound of footsteps.

Hearing the footsteps following behind her, Renée let out a deep sigh.

"Why do you keep following me?"

"My apologies."

At the low voice that answered her, Renée frowned slightly and spoke again.

"Sir Knight, I am not the person you are looking for."

"My apologies."

This was already the second day that the holy knight who claimed to be from the Holy Empire had followed her whenever she went outside. Whether she told him she was not the Saintess or asked him to leave, he merely muttered "My apologies" like a parrot and continued trailing after her.

For these past two days, Renée had scarcely stopped sighing.

"... Shouldn't you be looking for the Saintess? Surely you do not have time for this."

"... My apologies."

Those damned apologies. Frustration rose inside Renée, but she could not bring herself to snap at him. Instead, she sighed again and again.

... His voice sounded far too deeply subdued for her to lash out at him. Somehow, it softened her resolve.

Besides, he genuinely did nothing except follow her, so there was nothing else she could fault him for. He kept far enough away that even if she lifted her cane and swept it around, it would not touch him, allowing her to move unhindered. He planted each foot firmly on the ground as he walked, making his approach audible. He never spoke unless she addressed him first.

So what could she say to drive him away?

Of course, she could think of any number of harsh things to say. Having him follow her was frightening. It made her skin crawl. Because of him, she trembled with fear even when she went to sleep.

Renée knew she could say things like that.

But she did not have the cruel streak needed to say such things to another person, especially someone who was kindly disposed toward her. Had she truly felt that he meant her harm, she might have been able to say all sorts of harsh things. Yet this holy knight always addressed her with the utmost deference.

He treated her as though she were the Holy Emperor himself. How could she say something hurtful to him?

"... How long do you intend to keep following me?"

"My apologies."

The same words again. Unable to muster the energy to say anything more, Renée faced forward once more and moved her cane.

CLICK. CLICK. CLICK.

TAP. TAP. TAP.

The two sounds continued in a steady rhythm. The moment Renée tapped the ground with her cane, Bera's footsteps followed.

It was nearly time for the sun to set, but beneath the midnight sun illuminating the world, the sky remained blue. Watching Renée's back exactly four steps ahead of him, Bera matched each step she took.

His attention was wholly focused on Renée and her surroundings. Could something come flying toward her? Was there a large stone jutting out of the path ahead? He scanned the area with such absurd worries on his mind.

... He could not speak. There were plenty of things he could say. She had to go to the Holy Empire. She could not stay here. People seeking her would come to this place. They would spill her blood and turn this entire territory into a sea of blood.

Such practical concerns came to mind, but he could not bring himself to voice them. He felt those words would force her hand, that he would be presuming to disregard her wishes. And so Bera merely followed behind her.

During his training in the Holy Empire, a thought had occurred to him from time to time. What would he look like if he ever came to stand guard beside her? Would he stand proudly at her side? Would he be out in front, holding back her enemies?

But perhaps even those imaginings had been another expression of his arrogance. Now that the day had finally arrived, he could not bring himself to stand beside her. All he did was follow cautiously behind.

It was a truly regrettable, even pitiful arrangement, but Bera did not find it entirely hopeless. He was still walking after her, was he not? How could he expect to be full after the very first bite?

... Bera knew it, too. She had not accepted his presence. This fourteen-year-old Renée, who resented the Supreme God, simply lacked the harshness to snap at him. She could not muster enough ill will to shake him off.

It was a kindness so very like her, and he was exploiting that kindness to follow her like this.

As a clinging sense of self-loathing rose inside Bera once again, Renée spoke.

"... Sir Knight."

"Yes?"

"Why did you become a holy knight?"

Bera stared blankly at the back of her head. It was the realization that she was asking him a question that had left him so stunned.

"... What makes you believe in the gods? I don't really understand. Plenty of people believe in them, but hardly anyone ever experiences their miracles, do they? So why does everyone go so crazy over them?"

Determined to get his words right this time, Bera brought his thoughts into sharp focus. What answer should he give? What answer would be right for her?

He believed in the glory of the gods. He believed in their omnipotence. He believed in the divine powers they had bestowed upon this world.

The words came readily, but Bera could not choose an answer he liked. Were they not all empty platitudes? Nonsense that even he did not believe?

Dissatisfied with every answer that came to mind, Bera thought of the person who could give the wisest response to such a question. How would the Holy Emperor answer? What would that old man say?

As he considered it, an answer came to him.

'... There is no point.'

Was that not true? Copying the Holy Emperor's answer would be meaningless. It would be deceiving her. To Bera's mind, those were not words meant for this fourteen-year-old Renée.

He thought again. What could he say for the sake of this fourteen-year-old Renée who resented the gods?

After considering it for a little while, he answered.

"... I do not believe in them."

These were Bera's own words.

"Pardon?"

"I do not believe in the gods. I believe neither in their glory nor in their omniscience, nor in anything else about them."

Renée stopped abruptly. Bera stopped as well.

She turned her head back. Her gaze rested on empty air, but Bera knew that this was her way of trying to look at him.

"Aren't you a holy knight? Are you allowed to say that?"

"It is the truth, so I have no other answer to give."

An incredulous laugh slipped from Renée's lips at his answer.

"... That's funny. Then why did you become a holy knight, if you don't even believe in the gods?"

At her next question, Bera struggled to suppress the words "Because of you" before they could escape, then drew a breath. Why had he become a holy knight? Why had he become an apostle? What answer could he give that was not her?

After a moment's consideration, he found the answer more easily than he had expected.

"I wanted to learn how to protect."

"... How to protect?"

"Yes. There is a light I dare to follow. I became a holy knight because I wished to learn how to protect that light."

In essence, those words were about Renée as well. But as far as Bera could see, of all his reasons for becoming an apostle, this was the one that kept her furthest removed. He had no choice but to give that answer.

Renée moved her lips for a moment as though pondering his reply, then asked another question.

"So, have you learned?"

Bera's lips closed at her question. Did he know how to protect? If that was what she was asking, there was only one answer he could give.

"... I still do not know."

"I see."

A faint, weary laugh escaped Renée. She seemed a little subdued.

For some reason, the sight left Bera feeling stifled, and he moved his lips again.

"But by becoming a holy knight, I have learned how to learn it."

He saw an elusive expression come over Renée's face. Watching her, Bera continued to think.

He still did not know how to protect, or how to wield a sword that protected. He was not wise enough to understand it. In a mere four years or so, all he had come to realize was his own arrogance and ignorance. If he tried to discover the answer alone, he might never understand it in his entire life.

Fortunately, however, the wisest person in the world stood before him.

"Now that I have learned how to learn, I intend to discover how to wield a sword that protects."

Here was someone who, if he kept following her, would one day show him the answer.

Bera bowed his head. It was a gesture of boundless respect, and one she would never perceive.

While he stood with his head lowered, Renée spoke again.

"... That's wonderful. I'll be rooting for you."

With that, Renée faced forward again and resumed walking.

TAP. TAP.

Her cane sounded against the ground.

Bera belatedly raised his head. Watching her retreating figure, he answered quietly.

"You honor me."