Chapter 40 - Confusion

In the thick darkness, Yohan stood frozen, his mind a jumble of thoughts.

'What the hell am I supposed to do...'

The sun had set, and he would soon become a Demon. Countless eyes would witness his transformation. He could not leave a single one of them alive. He would have to kill innocent people to survive.

Nausea rose in his throat. He did not think he could bring himself to bloody his hands. He had killed several times, both directly and indirectly, since possessing this body, but this time he could not steel himself.

These people were innocent, downtrodden and powerless. They had even shown him kindness. The moment he slaughtered them, his humanity would vanish forever. He would spend the rest of his life as a cruel Demon.

Yohan clutched his head in both hands.

"... Fuck."

If he refused to give up being human, he had to let the witnesses live. Someday, he would pay for that with his life.

Could he bear it? Honestly, he did not think so. He could neither bring himself to massacre all the farmers before him nor leave witnesses behind. He floundered in the terrible dilemma, unable to decide. His brain felt ready to burst.

As he stood there, unable to do either, someone approached him cautiously.

"A-are you all right, sir?"

It was the old man who had cared for him. Yohan whirled toward him, his face stricken with fear. The thought that he might have to kill this man filled him with terror.

"Has this lowly fellow offended you somehow...?"

Puzzled by Yohan's behavior, the old man nevertheless bowed his head. Experience had taught him how to deal with nobles. Bowing meekly like this generally ended better than trying to find out what was wrong and provoking their capricious tempers.

His behavior left Yohan rather bewildered. He sensed no fear or terror from the old man. Looking around, he found the same was true of everyone else. The eyes watching him held only wariness and questions, not fear or revulsion toward a Demon.

It made no sense. The sun had set, so he should have become a Demon. To the farmers, a Demon would have appeared out of nowhere. Surely there should at least have been screams. Yet there was no commotion at all.

'What...'

Yohan immediately inspected his palms. They were not black. All he saw was fair skin and small fingers. When he touched his face, he felt only soft skin. There was no armor-hard carapace. This was not a Demon's body.

Shock coursed through him as though he had been struck with a hammer. For a long while, he stood there in a daze.

* * *

As soon as Yohan gathered his wits, he returned to the hut.

'... I didn't turn into a Demon.'

The sun had set, yet he was still human. This had never happened before, not once since he had possessed this body. Why? Only one hypothesis came to mind.

'Did my Demon body die?'

Perhaps it had died after being pierced by the holy spear Espada. That was entirely possible. Espada left eternal wounds on Demons, ceaselessly burning its victims' flesh with highly pure holy power. That accursed holy relic had remained lodged in Yohan's body to the very end. No matter how resilient a Demon was, such an injury could hardly fail to be fatal. It would be no surprise if he had died.

As his thoughts reached that point, a faint hope and a sliver of worry crossed his mind.

'Does this mean I'll go on living as a human?'

The hope that he might no longer need to pretend to be evil came together with worries about what lay ahead. Not having to play the Demon was certainly welcome. The problem was what came next.

With even his immediate survival uncertain, could he prepare for the coming apocalypse in a human child's body? Yohan had his doubts. There might be a way, of course, but the tower he had built so far would certainly crumble. He would have to remake every plan from scratch.

His troubles did not end there. His relationship with Ilea was also in jeopardy. Surely the witch's interest lay in Yohan the Demon. With that Demon gone, he could not rule out a sudden change in her friendly attitude. Depending on how things unfolded, he might even have to contend with her hostility. That was a daunting prospect.

Their contract posed another problem. Under its terms, Ilea was obliged to protect him. She had entered into the contract with Yohan in his Demon state, so if Yohan the Demon was dead, she might have to pay the price for failing to fulfill it. In other words, Ilea might already be dead.

Of course, that hypothesis only held if Yohan the human and Yohan the Demon were considered separate entities. If they counted as a single being, Ilea would not die even if his Demon self did. His human self was still very much alive.

Yohan stifled a groan. Nothing was certain. He did not even know whether his Demon self was alive or dead in the first place.

'Should I find Ilea first?'

If she was dead... His face twisted at the thought. A strange tightness welled up inside him. Imagining Ilea's death left him feeling vaguely wretched. Was it regret at losing the use of the witch's powers, or had he actually grown a little attached to her? He could not say for certain.

He let out a long sigh.

'Let's get moving for now.'

Sitting here worrying all day would yield no answers. He needed more information and evidence to resolve these problems.

Yohan immediately called for the old man.

"May I see your grandson?"

"Why, certainly, but what would you need him for...?"

"I'd like to reward him for rescuing me, and I have a few questions."

"In that case, I'll fetch him right away. But my grandson is still young and uneducated, and he may offend you. Please be generous enough to forgive him, sir."

The old man even bowed deeply to show his respect. It was rather excessive, even allowing for the way he handled nobles. Come to think of it, he had been like this from the start. His eyes were full of goodwill toward Yohan, despite their having only just met.

It took Yohan only a moment's thought to realize why.

'The Great Saint's eyes.'

The transplanted sacred relic made humans who met his gaze feel a strong liking for him. It was an extraordinarily useful power. Someone's goodwill could sometimes be worth a fortune, and Yohan could enjoy that advantage with little effort. Demons would hate him, of course, but given the relic's benefits, that was a manageable penalty.

Concealing his pleasure, Yohan said,

"Don't worry. Please fetch him. I'm not one to stand on ceremony."

The old man replied with a warm smile.

"Then please wait a moment. I'll bring him now."

* * *

Shortly after the old man left, a small, grubby boy approached the hut's door. Though it was his own home, he could not bring himself to enter. He merely lingered outside, watching Yohan's reaction.

Yohan addressed him.

"This is your home. Why are you standing there? Come in and make yourself comfortable."

Only then did the boy slowly approach.

"E-excuse me."

The moment he entered the hut, he knelt and bowed his head. He would not even meet Yohan's gaze. He seemed to be avoiding his eyes deliberately. Yohan found his behavior odd, but did not press him for a reason.

"First, I owe you my thanks. Thank you for looking after me. If not for you, I might have fallen prey to wild animals or bandits. I'll reward you handsomely for this."

The boy merely bowed his head lower without answering. His body trembled intermittently.

Yohan said,

"You seem uncomfortable. I'll get straight to the point. I have a few questions for you."

"I-I'll answer as best I can."

"What is your name?"

"My name is Raon."

"All right, Raon. Was there anything unusual by the river where you found me?"

"Unusual...?"

"The corpse of some strange creature, an enormous spear, a mirror the size of a person. Anything at all. Did you see any objects or phenomena you hadn't seen before?"

He meant, respectively, the corpse of his Demon self, the holy spear Espada, and the original thirteenth chapter of the Book of Doom.

"I'm sorry, but I didn't find anything like that. That bag was the only thing you had with you, sir."

The boy pointed toward a corner of the room, where Yohan's backpack sat.

"I-I didn't open it."

"There's nothing much in it, but well done. You're a good boy in more ways than one."

"Not at all. I'm only sorry I couldn't be of more help."

Yohan shook his head.

"You've done more than enough already. Just one last question. Can you read a map?"

"My uncle is a hunter. He taught me a little."

"Good."

With that, Yohan took a large map out of his backpack.

"Can you point out where you found me?"

The boy began studying the map intently. After a moment, he pointed to a spot with his forefinger.

"Near here."

Yohan clicked his tongue.

'Still inside the holy sealing array.'

After Gawain's attack sent him plunging into the river, he had apparently washed ashore without drifting far. In other words, he was still inside the Church's search area. They could descend on this village at any moment.

Yohan asked,

"Then where is the village?"

The boy slid his forefinger across the map and stopped at another spot.

"Here."

Yohan furrowed his brow.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, I'm certain."

The village was at least fifteen kilometers from the riverbank where Yohan had lain unconscious.

"You walked all that way with me on your back?"

The boy before him was tiny. He looked about Yohan's age, but he was much smaller. This frail boy could not have carried Yohan fifteen kilometers, especially in just a few hours.

"Answer me. Did you really carry me here?"

"Y-yes."

The boy answered in a trembling voice, his head bowed low.

"By yourself?"

"Well..."

Yohan gazed steadily at him before speaking.

"Raise your head."

The boy straightened up, but still avoided Yohan's gaze.

"Look me in the eye."

The boy could not bring himself to face him. He glanced around anxiously, then merely lowered his eyes again. Puzzled, Yohan took hold of his chin and tilted it up. Only then did their eyes meet.

Yohan spoke.

"Did you really carry me here all by yourself?"

The instant the question left his lips, the boy's face contorted violently. An unfamiliar voice escaped his mouth.

"Ah, ah! I don't want to look into your eyes. They make me want to defy you and tear you to death."

The voice was not the boy's. Unlike before, it was a horribly grating, monstrous cry. Startled, Yohan released his chin.

At the same moment, the boy's eyes lost their color. Pitch-black darkness spread over their whites like ink.

"O great End! Please grant this wretch leave to gouge out your eyes!"

His hand reached slowly toward Yohan, aiming for the Great Saint's eye.